5 for Friday! Those Weird, Wacky World-wide Olympic moments!

 

Well friends, the first week of the 2021 (even if they're calling it the 2020 games, I'm sorry, it's 2021, we really don't need to extend last year any longer do we?) Olympic Games is in the books and I'm here to tell you, all the couch time I've clocked and all the sleep I've lost obsessing about sports and athletes I will have no interest in past August 8 have not been in vain. 

I present the five weirdest, funniest, most head scratching moments of the Olympics thus far!

5)  Joey, you're not supposed to eat pizza and dressage at the same time!

The country of Singapore was eliminated from the equestrian dressage qualifiers on Sunday after a judge found Caroline Chew's horse Tribiani was bleeding from the mouth while competing.

If you're watching the extended coverage either in the middle of the night or by using your Roku device (thank you, NBC, for filing all the coverage under event tabs, BTW, I can skip the soccer and basketball and focus on the freaky stuff the US isn't good at. It's been fun!) then you may have seen this fun nugget from the horsing world.  Basically, Dressage is ballet for horses. During the qualifiers, (which is a bit like watching the compulsory events in ice dancing), the horse representing Singapore, hilariously named TRIBIANI, bit either his tongue or the side of his mouth during his routine and since bleeding is a no no in Olympic competition (Do they call that the "Louganis" rule?) both horse and rider were DQ'd.  

4) Sir, please freak out behind the fence.

Australian swim coach, Dean Boxall, is an emotional guy. Never more, however, than when Ariarne Titmus won a gold medal.

Now, emotional celebrations are a big part of the Olympics. But I'd like you to watch as a very dedicated Japanese usher politely does her job. LOL

3)  Not nearly as pretty, but also not as lethal.

Dutch men's mountain biker, Van der Poel, crashes on the course. The next day, for the women's event, someone put up what looks like a ramp made of wood pallets. You know, for safety.

2) This would win the $100K on America's Funniest Home Videos.

I might be the biggest fan of Olympic Skateboarding EVER! 

Wait, what I meant to say is, I really hope Angelo Caro Narvaez isn't seriously hurt.

1)  The winner of the first ever Red Foreman "Dumbass" Medal.

Xiao Ruoteng of China! This genius was LEADING the men's individual all around gymnastics competition until the final event, the horizontal bar.  After his routine, he celebrated on the stage, went down to the team "dugout" area, then CAME BACK UP TO CELEBRATE MORE while another gymnast was readying himself to do his routine on the bar.

The judges had the right to deduct his score 3 tenths of a point. Which they did. 

Mathematically speaking, Xiao would still have lost the gold to Japanese teen sensation Hashimoto, but this gap in manners and common sense was just, as Red Foreman would put it: 

"I feel that I did well today, and I am pretty satisfied with my performance. This medal is really big for me. It's a result of what I have worked for up until now," said Xiao.

Sure.  That's the face of a guy who isn't afraid to go home.

There you have it my friends, the 5 most fun, weirdest, hilarious moments.  

I have to give an honorable mention to France’s Pauline Ferrand-Prévot, female mountain bike race favorite, who fell off her bike and got caught in a guard net, then slide a couple feet down on wet rocks while trying to retrieve her bike that seemed determined to stay away from her.  She was in the lead until that moment.  THAT'S the agony of defeat right there!

5 for Friday! Lessons Sarah has learned.

 

It's been quite the week and I've learned some stuff...so let's just get to it!

5)  Follow the Directions...READ the directions!

In the last several years I haven't felt the need to shave my legs all that much. I mean, first of all, I live in a climate where we wear long pants 9 months out of the year.  Second, my leg hair hasn't grown in as much as it did in my 20's. Finally...I just don't care that much, especially after COVID!

BUT, I'm going out and about this weekend and I want to look less gross. in studying myself critically I noted that while my leg hair wasn't all that thick...it was LONG.  I mean, I had weird long strands hanging off my leg like some kind of balding bear.  

Time to get rid of that!

Now, I could have just shaved my legs and been done. But, that wouldn't be funny, right?  No, instead I cracked into a bottle of Nair I bought...let's just say a while ago.  

For my younger readers, please enjoy this Nair commercial from my teen years:  

For the rest of you, sing it with me: Who wears short shorts?

Okay, that was fun.  Back to my lesson. I haven't used Nair in some time, but hey, I mean, it's Nair. I'm from the Nair generation.  I KNOW HOW TO USE NAIR without reading the directions!

No I don't.

I poured a ton of that cream on my legs and rubbed it in HARD so that I could chemically melt all traces of leg hair. And my skin really sucked the heavy smelling stuff in, like it knew I was also trying to fry the follicles. 

Aaaaaaand then I checked the directions.  DO NOT RUB IN screams the bottle in big block letters. 

I feared some kind of weird skin burns, but no. Instead, fun fact, Nair, if rubbed in, DOES NOT rinse off all that easily. Two showers later, my pores are still oozing a bit of greasy, chemical smelling goo.  Very sexy.   So...yeah.

4) Boy, I really thought I would die. Guess not. 

So Hubby and I started doing Noom back the end of May.  For those of you not in the know, Noom is NOT a diet program.  I had my doubts, I've done a lot of diet programs, but honestly...this one works.  I'm learning far more about food than I thought I would and, since the end of May, I've dropped12 pounds, I'm sleeping better, and I'm walking stronger and further than I used to.

Also, and this is big, I GAVE UP COFFEE CREAMER! 

My coffee used to look like this:    

But when I realized that my quarter cup of creamer took up all my red calories (read here: DELICIOUS calories) I decided to try something else. So I could, you know, eat solid food the rest of the day.

So I stopped putting coffee creamer in my coffee. And I didn't DIE!

Instead. I swapped my heavy, sweat, lovely coffee creamer for something I used to think would literally kill me:  

That's right. I now dress up my coffee with unsweetened, unflavored almond milk  (and a little packet of STEVIA sweetener.)  And guess what?

I haven't died!  I haven't died so much so that I've started putting this magical nut juice (which is a GREEN FOOD on Noom) on my bowl of cereal (Life Multigrain Cinnamon, which is also a green food.)  And I haven't died!

3)  "Blue" is not a drink. But it can be.

It's summer and in the summer I enjoy the adult beverages that only seem to pop up in summer: the blue ones.  Every restaurant seems to have a blue beverage for summer and the recipes vary.  They're usually called something like "Blue Bahama" or "Beach Bum" or something.  I don't know.  I don't care. I know it's blue and I like blue drinks in the summer.  

So after the Farmers Market last week Hubby and I went to Sobelman's, a local eatery here in town known for their insane Bloody Marys. (I don't like Bloody Marys. I like everything that goes into one, but something happens when you mix is all together and I find it gross.) 

Our server asked us for a drink order. Hubby ordered a beer and I said, "I'll have whatever your blue drink is."

Friends, the look on her face was precious! I should have taken a picture.

Apparently, "Blue" is not a drink order.  Well, it should be.  I give her points though, she walked up to the bar tender (we were able to watch because the eatery was pretty much empty, given how late in the day we were having lunch)  and asked about a "blue drink." Where the server was confused and struggling valiantly to help me, the bartender was nonchalant.  A few moments later, out came a wonderful blue drink.  The "Blue RaspBetty White."  Apparently, Sobelman's HAS a drink called the RaspBetty White.  Our resourceful bartender simply added blue curacao.

2) There's a rule about seafood for a reason.

Hubby has kind of a picky stomach. There are certain foods from certain eateries that he simply cannot eat because his body reacts...quickly and with great violence.  I, however, have never had that problem.  (Fun fact, regardless of what certain former employers might think...I don't think I've ever actually had food poisoning! LOL)

Well, I'm not sure if it's age or the fact that I'm eating less greasy/processed foods lately or what, but last night Hubby, Peaches, and I ate at an establishment we've not been to in a VERY VERY VERY long time. I ordered the seared scallops.  (A green food on Noom...but the drawn butter IS NOT.)  I enjoyed the seared scallops.

My internal system, however, did NOT enjoy the scallops.  I'm just glad there was a Kwik Trip  close to the eatery.  Kwik Trip has the only public restrooms I come close to trusting. And I'm sure Peaches, when she reads this, will be very happy I didn't use her restroom instead!  LOL

I haven't fully sworn off scallops. But, I will probably not order them again from a place that specializes in seven forms of steak.  

1) You'd think I knew everything about cat hair.  And yet...

Okay, you'd think I'd know this, but apparently not.  IF you have cats and IF you use those fuzzy hangers that grip your clothes and keep them from falling on the floor because you're a big fluffy girl and clothing designers have decided that since you're a big fluffy girl you must have a massive neck and therefore must wear tops with a neck hole the size of the Grand Canyon...

...wait, where was I?

Right, velvet hangers.

If you have cats and if you use these hangers do not, I repeat, DO NOT lay the hangers on your bed.

I mean, unless you like having cat hair INSIDE your tops. I'm not going to tell you how to live.