Either The Oscar movies are getting better or my brain is breaking.

 

The Oscars, the one and only awards show I watch with any sort of full interest, is airing in a couple of weeks which means that, in spite of my protestations to the contrary, I'm scrambling to see all ten of the Best Picture nominees.  Last week, I wrote reviews for the 5 best known pictures of the group.  Today, I want to talk about my brain.

I'm pretty sure my brain is breaking.

Either that, or the movies Oscar is nominating are getting better, less stupid, more coherent, more worthy of views.

Emilia Perez was the first surprise. I can't stop talking about how great a story and how great the writing is on this film.  

But I thought that was the last surprise because the remaining five movies looked wildly stupid and I'm not about to spend time and money going to theaters to see a movie I'm 98% sure I'm going to hate. I'd rather do that in the privacy of my own home.

But, yesterday, I broke my vow (The one I made after BUYING "Nomadland" from Amazon) that I was NOT going to buy or rent any of these films.  I rented "The Substance" from Amazon and watched it.  Bob and Brian had been mocking this film on their show all week and since I had the afternoon off I figured I'd give it a look.

Six buck and two hours later I was agog, aghast, and everything else.

I not only didn't hate it, I liked it, I was entertained by it, I GOT IT!

"The Substance" starring Demi Moore, opens as a commentary on society's value of women over the age of 50.  Set in Hollywood in what I believe is the 80's or early 90's (based on the clothes and the omnipresent mauve carpeting in Moore's apartment, although they do have cell phones, so take that for what you want). Moore is Elizabeth Sparkles, and aging actress who's starred in her own jazzercise show for decades. On her 50th birthday her boss (Played wildly by a clearly deranged Dennis Quaid) fires her and begins the search to find someone younger, hotter, newer.

In the immortal words of "How I Met Your Mother's" Barney Stinson, "New is Always Better."

Elizabeth Sparkles is in a car accident on her way home from work.  In the ER she meets a fairly weird male nurse who slips her a card for "The Substance."  She follows this weird rabbit hole, taking the substance which creates a younger alter-ego.  Each one lives 7 days and then switches, NO EXCEPTIONS.

Pretty cool, right?

The new girl let's call her Sue, because that's her name in the movie, auditions and gets the job as the star of a new jazzercise show.  She works and lives 7 days, then switches and Sparkles lives for 7 days. In the meantime, the one lives the other lies comatose in the bathroom, living off of some premeasured goo through in IV.

Still with me?

Almost predictably, Sue's life spins upward, with talk show appearances, screaming fans, all of it.  Sparkles' life is a complete downward spiral sinking into the world of TV watching and late-night binge eating.  The Sue starts to take extra time: at first a few hours, then a day or two.  What can that hurt, right?

While the ending of this film does devolve into some kind of over-the-top 1950's era space horror, the message is clear:  Women of a certain age are not valued in this country.  Not for employers, not for the younger generation, not for themselves. There's a scene where Sparkles is getting ready for a date with a man her own age, someone who thinks she's the prettiest girl anywhere.  The scene is heartbreaking for me, a woman in that age group, to watch this beautiful, glamorous star doubt herself to the point of violence.  

This is not going to be everyone's cup of coffee, I know. There's a ridiculous amount of nudity, although it's hardly there for titillation, more a sterile, medical, comparative look at women's bodies as they age.  The language isn't terrible, just turn off the sound when Dennis Quaid shows up.  There is a ton of blood and gore, I'm not going to lie. I had to cover my eyes a couple times.  That said, I thoroughly enjoyed this weird picture.

Demi Moore should absolutely be the front runner for Best Actress. Unlike when she did "Striptease" (And everyone said she was so brave) she really shows courage here, allowing her body to be used and abused by the Substance and by Sue.  I haven't seen her do emotional work like this since "St. Elmo's Fire" and I'm very excited to see a 62-year-old woman look as awesome as she does and then be confident enough in herself to allow the film to twist her into something unrecognizable.  

It's doubtful "The Substance" will win best picture.  I won't be shocked if it does, but it's unlikely.  There are too many other films that are just better and more accessible.  But it's worth the six bucks for a rental on Amazon Prime.

You be the judge.  Is it a good movie is my brain really broken?

Five for Friday (On Saturday) It's OSCAR MOVIE TIME!

 

Okay, it's that time of year again, when the Academy of White Guys who Judge Movies nominates a bunch of films most people hadn't heard of.  However, thanks to investing in MULTIPLE streaming services I have, so far, been able to watch the five most accessible films nominated for the big award.  And I'm here to share my thoughts on those movies and what I believe their chances are for winning.  Ready?

WICKED:  Based on both the stage play and the book by the same name, "Wicked" the movie is a good bridge between the two.  Not as fluffy cotton candy as the stage musical, but not as dark as the book, the movie musical is a feast for the eyes and ears of theater kids everywhere. It's also a very good movie.  (And one of the two I saw in a theater.)  My personal feelings about Arianna Grande aside, Wicked is beautiful set, directed, dressed, all of it.  

But it will not win Best Picture this year and here's why:  Much like the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, this movie is not yet complete. There is a second chapter to it.  And like LOTR, the Best Picture is going to go to the final chapter, not this one. However, I give this 5 out of 5 stars, even with Arianna Grande. You can buy this on Amazon Prime.

A COMPLETE UNKNOWN:  Timothee Chalamet is not only a revelation with his brilliant singing (Yes, he did that on his own) but he absolutely carries this film about music's ultimate anti-hero, Bob Dylan. I am not a Bob Dylan fan, but I went to the movies with hubby who is.  I loved this movie.  I loved the music, I loved seeing the evolution of a cocky kid from Minnesota as he turned to a beloved folk singer and then threw it all away so he could play an electric guitar.   TC reached way beyond his young years and I believe this will be his crowning moment. The movie is a 5 out of 5 stars. TC should win best actor and this movie would be my favorite to win best picture. This is still only in theaters.

CONCLAVE:  While a movie about the voting on a new Pope might seem super dull for most people, especially non-Catholics, Conclave can, and does, grip the viewer with its stealthy pacing and slow burn drama. The payoff is movie perfection.  Long time favorite, Ralph Fiennes is nominated for best actor, but he, like this movie, is a runner up to "A Complete Unknown."  Very good movie, 5 out of 5 stars.  It's on Peacock, so definitely check it out.

DUNE PART TWO:  I'm going to be honest, I may never fully understand what the blazes is going on in the Dune universe. Back in the 80's I tried to love the first movie. I didn't. I hated it.  It's still the only movie I've ever walked out on.  But I did really enjoy Dune part one, mostly due to the work of Timothee Chalamet (There he is again) and Zendaya.  The two young actors take what is a wildly unwieldy, sprawling story and give us a good foundation to explore that universe with them.  However, this movie will not win Best Picture.  Why?  Again, the Lord of the Rings reason.  Dune 2 isn't the end.  Dune 3 is the one that will garner all the statues.  I give this movie 4.5 stars out of 5 only because, as I say, I don't yet fully understand what the blazes is going on.  This is on Netflix and you can rent it on Amazon Prime.

EMILIA PEREZ:  Okay, when I sat down to watch this musical (Yep it's a musical) about drug cartel kidnappings in Mexico, I was all set to hate it. So much drama around lead actress Karla Sofia Gascon's tweets and so many negative viewer reviews on IMDB had set me up to just really not enjoy this movie. 

I LOVED IT.  The premise might be the single most brilliant movie idea ever in the history of movies.  A worn out, under-appreciated lawyer (Zoe Seldana) is kidnapped by a cartel kingpin and tasked with organizing that kingpin's gender affirming surgeries.  The cartel kingpin then fakes his own death. Now a woman, "Emilia" presents herself as the kingpin's cousin, and takes her former wife (Selena Gomez) and current children in to live with her without telling them she's actually their husband and father.  Emilia then forms a charity organization focused on finding the victims of cartel kidnappings so that the families have closure.  Emilia becomes powerful and turns some of the focus of her charity to punishing cartel guys and other evil men.  The final twist is so wicked and brilliant I can't even explain it, you just have to see the movie.  Yes, it's 90% in Spanish. Yes, some of the musical numbers are a little odd and yes, Zoe Saldana uglied it up for this part.  So what?   This film won best musical or comedy at the Golden Globes.  Unfortunately, there is no such category at the Oscars, but they do have Best Foreign Film. The Academy will wuss out and give Best Foreign film to Emilia, and lead actress Karla Sofia Gascon will NOT be best Actress. Too much nonsense floating around her right now.  That award will go to Cynthia Erivo probably.  However, Emilia's story is a once in a generation brilliance.  I know the specific Spanish grammar and a few other inconsistencies have come under fire, but the general viewer is not going to get their undies in a wad about that.  This is a spectacular movie. Not everyone's cup of tea, but I loved it.  5 out of 5 stars and a Best Foreign film Oscar. This is on Netflix.

So there you go.  The five most easily found movies nominated for Best Picture.  I'm going to try and see the other five, but honestly...if I tell Hubby I need to rent movies even after he got me Paramount Plus for Christmas, he might not be thrilled. Plus, I still own "Nomad" from a few years ago...and I regret every penny I put into buying it!