A single shoe sparks a theological explanation from Hubby.

You'll get the connection in a minute.

First of all, I have to announce the release of my 9th novel and my 14th book overall,  FREED ON THE FOX!   "Freed" completes the four book NORA HILL MYSTERIES, and I'm quite excited about how this one turned out. I've never completed a book series before.  (Oh, does this mean there might be a NEW Rock Harbor Chronicles novel on the way???? MAYBE....) So this fourth Nora book, for me, was a new experience all the way around.  I finally understand what "Breaking Bad" writer, Vince Gilligan, felt when he wrote the final season of that brilliant series.  (Not that I'm comparing my inspirational cozy mysteries to that gritty crime drama!  LOL)  I now understand what it is to say good-bye to characters I've been with for several years.  I also know what it's like to lock myself in a room and cry and write and cry and write until it's done.




BUT, that's not the point of my blog today. No, after my long hiatus from observing humanity, I have to share this weird moment that really only happens between people who have been in a relationship for a long time.  In the 33 years Hubby and I have been together, we've gone through all the phases of a marriage: We've been in that head-over-heals phase, the giggly first years of marriage phase, the young parenting phase, the run-to-all-your-kids'-stuff phase, and now, now that the kids are adults and very nearly take care of themselves all the time, we are in a new phase:  The "Now what do we talk about?" phase.

Sure, we discuss things like politics and religion, but since we pretty much agree on most topics, it tends to be a short conversation.  We should probably have a long conversation about our bills...but hey, who wants to talk about that?  We'd talk about the kids, but they hate that.  So...now what?

Which is why this conversation happened a couple weeks ago.

It all started with a shoe.


We were on our way someplace, probably to the pharmacy, and I noticed a single shoe in the middle of the road.

"Why always one shoe?" I asked Hubby?

I used to babysit other people's kids and I'm not what you'd call a normal person when it came to raising my own kids, much less other people's.  The concept of shoes getting tossed out of the car is not foreign to me.  I used to drive a giant station wagon with that backwards facing seat.  I'd fill that beast up with kids and we'd go everywhere:  the beach, museums, botanical gardens, parks. You name it, if I could get a season pass to it, or if kids under a certain age were free, I drove the wagon to it and dragged the kids through it.  And it was often on these trips where, yes, things would go flying out that back window. Sometimes I'd ignore the screams from three rows back to "GO BACK AND GET MY HAPPY MEAL TOY."  But if a shoe went out the window, you can bet I'd go back and get that. I might not always return those kids to their parents in any kind of a level of cleanliness...and you could bet money they'd have eaten their weight in junk food, but they all went home with the same number of shoes they showed up with.

Hey, shoes are expensive!

So every time I see a lone shoe in the road, I comment on it.  I mean, why one shoe?  Why didn't that person go back for that shoe?  What are you going to do with the shoe you still have?  Unless you're a person with one leg, one shoe isn't going to do you much good.

This is the point I was making to Hubby.

He had a different thought. "It's the Rapture."

Wait, what now?  

"Sure, the Rapture is taking only one legged people.  That's why there are single shoes in the road.

I have to be honest. I thought the Rapture would be something a little more...noticeable.   Not just a random lone shoe in the road once in a while. But I didn't grow up in a church that taught the Rapture.  So I don't know all the ins and outs of it. Also, Hubby can be very convincing when he starts talking about things.

Which is why I asked this question:  "So the Rapture takes one-legged people and leaves their shoes behind?"

I don't see anything here about a single shoe

"No, it leaves all their clothes behind.  So that guy was naked when he was taken."

It's a good thing Hubby was driving because I would have swerved the car into a tree after this statement.

"So what you're saying is that the Rapture takes naked, one-legged people and that's it?"

"Well, not just one-legged naked people.  But the Rapture will take you and leave your clothes."

Folks, I should mention he's keeping a completely straight face while saying this.

"So according to you, if I see a random pile of clothes lying around...that's the Rapture?"

"Yes."

"And if I see a lone shoe someplace, that's the Rapture taking a one legged naked person."

"Yes.  So you'd probably want to hang out someplace where they sell good clothes, like Rodeo Drive."

(I told you that picture from "Pretty Woman" had a connection.)

Well, maybe the hat would fit.

"Because," hubby continued, "when you get taken to Heaven, see, you're given clothes.  So you don't need the ones you're wearing.  So if you're someplace like Rodeo Drive, and you're taken, all those expensive clothes will just wind up on the street."

I couldn't help but think, sure, then those clothes would be free, but they still wouldn't be fluffy sized.  So not only would I have NOT been taken to meet my Maker, but also what's left behind would mock me for my size.

Anyway...

"But yes, in answer to your question, that's why there's a shoe in the road.  It's the Rapture."

Yes, kids, this is what people talk about when they've discussed absolutely everything else.

But hey, it's good to be back and blogging!

Meanwhile, check out  all of my books  AND donate to your favorite charity at SMILE AMAZON.  (It's possibly the easiest way to donate to charity yet!)