Spring Sucks: A weather rant.

 

I'll fight anyone who argues with me.  I won't hit hard...because, you know, my joints hurt.

Hello everyone!

I realize that now that we are midway through April, most people here in the temperate Great Lakes region are rejoicing because Spring is here!

Except for one thing:  Spring in Wisconsin SUCKS!  

While other parts of the country might be enjoying the gradual passing of winter into the brightly colored delights of spring, here in Wisconsin neighborhood, we never know what we're getting.  The last two nights have brought high humidity, wild storms, and even a couple tornado touchdowns.  Our grass is green and growing, but many power lines are down and basements around the state are perhaps a tiny bit flooded, not a lot. We get the big floods every five years or so, and we just had one. So not big flooding, but just enough to annoy a body.

Granted, we don't have the problems of a Florida with the hurricanes or a California who should just about now be starting wildfire and earthquake season, but the barometric pressure around here fluctuates like the overall body temp of a perimenopausal woman.

Because it's not just property damage that makes spring in the Great Lakes region blow chunks.

Spoiler:  You don't.  You just suffer.

I have arthritis. I have it in my toe, my feet, my knees, and my hands.  Spring, with its willy nilly approach to temperatures and humidity content wreaks havoc with my joints every single day.  So from the first thaw in Mid-February until the actually "seven inches from the midday sun" (thank you, Rob Thomas and Santana) of Summer arrives, sometime in late June, I'm in more pain than normal.  It's hard for me to open doorknobs, walk, stand for long periods of time, or really do much of anything.  And before anyone asks, yes, I've had one knee replacement, I'm expecting to do a second one this year, and no, there's not a thing they can do for the feet.  (Which, not at all ironically, is what hurts the worst in the spring.)  I can tolerate Summer because the air pressure is steady.  Same for Winter.  Fall tends to be a little frenetic, but the air is drying out, so it's okay.  But spring...

Oh yeah, and, this year, again, for the second time, I'm experiencing the pressure of the ups and downs in my head. That's right. The ear surgery did not go all that well, in my opinion. My ear is still plugged and the whackadoodle pressure of the weather makes the pressure on the right side of my head unbelievable.

On top of that, it's blooming time here in the Great Lakes.  Now, I haven't been plagued with seasonal allergies, but I can name thirty or forty people in my circle of life who do. Also, I'm starting to get the watery eyes and drippy nose, so the allergies, they are a comin'!

Also, I like a rainy day as much as anyone else.  But COME ON!  It has rained (which triggers my arthritis pain more) just about every day this month.  Or it feels that way.  My doctor told me I'm supposed to get 30 minutes of active movement a day. Great.  How am I supposed to do that when it's raining all the time?  

I could go back to Wii Fit aerobics. That three minute activity followed by the island bike ride used to be my total workout.

Which is why I'm not skinny now.

Oh, and one more thing:  My weight! The minute the dry air of winter blows away, I pack on ten pounds of water weight.  Over night. Immediate.  Predictable.  I can't shake it, and won't shake it until the first freeze. Then, again, over night, I'll lose ten pounds. So what's that about?

But Sarah, many people will say, if you hate it so much, why do you live there?

Fair question.

Hubby has even suggested I pick a place that has a better climate and he'll find a job there.  He can do it, he works for a giant national company. They have jobs all over the country.  But... But...

Guys, I literally just got my dvd collection arranged the way I like it.  How can I pack it all up and move!  Also, and this is key, there is one day a year when Spring is worth it. There is one day a year when the trees on my street all break out their pink and white buds and the grass is so green it hurts to look at it, and the sky is so blue with the fluffiest white clouds you think you're in heaven.  It's seventy, sunny, and not all that humid and there's a light breeze.  One day that makes everything else seem silly to gripe about.

Then that day passes and it starts raining again.  But we get that one day.

So will we relocate?  Who knows.  I love living here, I really do. I just hate it when everyone around me celebrates spring and I want to lie down and do nothing until it gets cold again.

Which it will...literally tomorrow.  I'm in shorts and a t-shirt and considering turning on the AC. And two days from now it's going to freeze. But never fear, it will rain every day this week.  

Okay   Rant over.