Thursday, July 6, 2017

I'm NOT making a political statement! I'm really this stupid!

Good afternoon!

As some of you know I have issues with public restrooms.

Okay, EVERYONE knows that.

Well I hit a whole new height this past week when I attempted to use a restroom at a local Starbucks.  Here's how this happened:

Generally Starbucks' restrooms are small: single fixture affairs where you lock the door and no one else comes in while you're in there.  So, when they changed Starbucks' restrooms from "Men's" and "Women's" to "Everyone can use either" it wasn't a tough change for them. Just put new signs on the doors.  Not like it mattered since it's a single person bathroom anyway.  No problem!

Now, I've been going to the Starbucks' closest to my house for years. We walk there, get a beverage and walk back.  Sometimes I use the restroom, sometimes I don't.  My point being, that I've been going into the restroom on the left (formerly the "Ladies" room) for the better part of eleven years. So when I had to use the restroom on Tuesday, I walked up to the door on the left and tried the handle. It was locked, and I could hear someone in there.

I stood for a moment, thinking about this. Well, I mean, the sign on the other door "formerly the "men's" room did indicate I could use it. I felt weird, but hey, it's a new day, everyone can use it, I needed it, okay, I'm going to use it.

I tried the handle. It seemed to be locked, like someone was in there.  I didn't want to be indelicate, so I didn't knock or anything I just waited.

And waited.

And waited.

After several minutes, I tried the door on the left. Still locked.  I could still hear someone making definite bathroom type noises in there.  I tried the door on the right. Door seemed locked, although I couldn't hear anything. But it's a coffee shop. There are noises all the time. And I didn't want to look like some creeper eavesdropping at the bathroom door. (Which would undoubtedly land me in someone else's blog...)  So I just waited.

And waited.

AND WAITED.

Still, no one emerged from either bathroom. At this point I'm sort of at a critical tipping point:  Either I get in a bathroom now or I cross the parking lot to Gold's Gym and pretend I still have a membership.  And that will definitely land me in someone else's blog...and the Gold's gym newsletter...and probably the police blotter.

Emboldened by need, this time I try the door on the left and it's very much indeed locked.  And the person behind that locked door is now coughing up a lung.  

I had a fleeting thought at that moment that someone might want to check on that person.  But you know...then I forgot it because I has having my own little issues.

I again tried the door on the right...this time I really put some pressure on that handle...

AND IT OPENED.

Now, if you've been to a Starbucks, you know that there's NO possible way someone might have sneaked out past me while I was waiting for a restroom to open up.  No...I just sort of forgot how to open a door.  So I stood there looking all dumb because here we are in 2017 and there are two unisex bathrooms and one of them is unoccupied and I'm standing there in the hall.  I may have just made some kind of political statement by not immediately using the restroom that had once been a mens' room.  And maybe I should cling to that...yes, I'm making this statement that I refuse to use a bathroom because even though there's a picture of a triangle person indicating that women can use the restroom, I won't because it used to be used by men.

Or I can admit I'm too stupid to know how to open a door.


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