What's funnier than a mammogram? This.

Good evening!

I realize I've been AWOL for a few weeks. Honestly I do not have a great excuse.  But I do have stories!  And is that why you come here anyway?

So earlier this month I got a year older. And yes, I crossed into a new decade.  I'm now at an age where, in theory, the demands and annoyances of my monthly punctuation are receding and the demands and annoyances of my joints and other stuff that now hurts are growing.  Except in my case its a major free-for-all in the pain and annoyance department. My punctuation is not going to give up without a fight.  So fun to be me.

Anyway, I figured I should probably schedule a few over due appointments with various professional people.  So, eye doctor (It's been two years.)  dentist (it's been 18 months and I have a broken tooth) physical (I would never see that guy again if I didn't need my happy pills.) and mammogram (let's just say I'm overdue.)

Oddly enough, my physical was the hardest thing to schedule.  I've met my doctor.  I doubt he's in that much demand.  Pretty much why I signed up to see him, he was always free.  And now, apparently, other people have figured that out. It was worth it to be seen right away. Only now we have to wait two months to get a physical done by a semi-competent guy who's only real contribution to my health care is to send me to endless specialists.

I digress.

So today I went in for the mammogram! Whoo hoo!

I got to the clinic and the greeter lady met me at the door.  This is how that went:

Lady:  ARE YOU HERE FOR A SCHEDULED APPOINTMENT? (all in a very loud voice.)

Me:  Yes.  (In a normal voice)

Lady:  OTHER THAN A MAMMOGRAM?  (shouting)

Me:  Actually I'm here for a mammogram.  (normal person voice.)

LADY:  OH IN THAT CASE YOU GET ON THE ELEVATOR AND GO TO THE BREAST IMAGING CENTER FOR YOUR MAMMOGRAM..  (can she not hear how loud she is?  People are staring.  The 9 year old boy just learned a new word.)

I noticed that she did NOT scream the same questions to the woman who came in behind me. No, that lady just got a "ARE YOU HERE FOR AN APPOINTMENT?"

I must be wearing my "I'm getting my boobs crushed today" t-shirt.

So I get to the breast imaging center and the very nice lady at the desk asks me my name. Then she asks me my appointment time. Then she asks for my birthday. The she asks the universe why she can't find me in the system.

At this point I'm about ready to launch into a rant because the last time I was in the building the reservation system lost my appointment time and made it look like I cancelled a very important (and stressful) medical test.  If that is what is happening here, this poor, unsuspecting woman is going to get an earful because I'm locked and loaded.

And then she says, "Oh.  You're Sarah?"

"Yes."

"Ummmm, your appointment's tomorrow."


Let's let that sink in a bit.  I showed up a full 24 hours early for a mammogram.  I'm stinky, I have no hairspray in my hair, and my make up on my face.  And now, yes, I get to do it all over again...TOMORROW.

It's fun to be me!