See, Sir, you're at Sam's Club, so...no.

Once again, standing in line at the pharmacy does not disappoint.

This week was med refill week, and of COURSE given all the prescriptions we have here, at least one of them will always get delayed (unbeknownst to us) and thus I'm required to do two trips. Fortunately, I'm also bad at grocery shopping, so making two trips to Sam's Club in two days isn't the as big a problem as one might think. Gives me push to actually leave the house and get the bag of coffee I forgot to pick up the first time around.  (How could Sarah forget COFFEE?????  Well, it happens.)

Anyway, yesterday I showed up at the pharmacy at 2 PM sharp. This is key because the pharmacy at Sam's is closed from 1:30 to 2 every day.  So if I can't get there to pick up before 1:30 it's important to get there at 2 before the line gets too long.

Yesterday I should have gotten there at 1:55.  Seriously. I got there as they were opening the service window and there was already a fairly long line. 

Sigh.

However, as I said, standing in line wound up not being a waste of time because I was able to witness and record the following:

A gentleman edged between the pharmacy line and the shelves of heartburn products.  He spent some quality time picking up the two pack bottles of TUMS, looking at it, then putting it back on the shelf.  He must have done this three or four times before I moved up in line enough to stand next to him.

I guess I just have one of those faces, because it was then that he decided to start asking random people (in this case, me) questions.

Man:  so...do you think this is all they have for TUMS?

Me: I think so. I mean, if they had other brands, they would probably put them next to the TUMS.

Man:  Oh, I don't need a different brand. I need a smaller bottle.

Me: (no response.  It's Sam's Club.  You're going to buy in bulk. That's the point.)

Man: This one is a two pack and there are 250 tablets in each.

Me:  Yes.  (I, too, can read.)

Man:  Well, that's way too many.  I don't need that many.

Me: (because I've bought that same two pack and run through it in a matter of months) Well, it's a really good price for that many.  (Because it is. That same number of tablets at Target would be double the price.)

Man:  It is, but I just don't need 500 tablets.  I wonder if they have a smaller bottle.

Me: I don't think so.  Besides, it's a good price, plus, with that many, you're set for a year.  (See?  I'm polite, logical, and helpful.)

Man: But I don't need that many. (stepping in front of me)  I'm just going to ask this lady if they have smaller bottles.

Me: 

Well, I can't really repeat what I said because 1) I didn't say it out loud and 2) I can't print that many four letter Anglo-Saxon isms.   (Kids read this blog.)  I mean, did he not see that this was a LINE?  There were six or seven people in LINE for the PHARMACY and he just hopped ahead OF ME to ask the lady if there were smaller bottles of TUMS somewhere.

Oh sure. Sam's Club hides the tiny bottles of EVERYTHING in a big room far away from customers just so they have to find an employee and ask.

DUDE!

First of all, does he not get the rules of standing in line?  I don't care if you have "a quick question" there's a LINE.  If you don't want to stand in the line and wait your turn, then maybe find someone, anyone, in a blue vest that says "happy to help" and ask them.  OR...hey...ask that Soma Care guy who insists on jumping unsuspecting people racing to pick up meds.

Second of all...DO YOU NOT GET THIS IS SAM'S CLUB?  It's all about buying in bulk.  Look around.  Everything is a two pack, four pack, club pack, super sized!  If you want a little bottle of anything, go to Kwik Trip or Target or Walmart or LITERALLY ANY OTHER STORE IN THE WORLD.

But no, of course I didn't say anything, and I didn't point out his breach of etiquette. I didn't make a sound as he stepped in front of me and asked the pharmacy lady (who watched my face the whole time because she knows me and knew I was dying a thousand deaths in that moment) and asked her possibly the dumbest question anyone has ever asked anyone in a Sam's Club.

And she gave him her answer which was, of course, NO.  It took great restraint on her part, I'm sure, to keep a straight face and yes, as he walked away, she and I shared a giggle and then a sigh of exasperation.

The good news is we're set for meds again for the next month. Which is good.  Because my tongue needs to heal from all the biting I did.