Target Cashier's response sums up modern life in one word.

 

It's Christmas Week! WHOO HOO!  Have you lost your mind yet?

I'm going to just say it: Here at the Bradley house, it's a super chill (rare) moment of peace.  Gifts...wrapped and under the tree.  Cards...being mailed as we speak.  (No talk of "Epiphany cards" that turn into "easter Cards" that turn into "Oh whatever.")  Cookies...baked, AND DECORATED and ready to roll!  

Now, no, I did not do all this myself. Nope, this was a team effort, but despite Covid (Tom and Peaches) and an emergency appendectomy (Peaches) and Nanowrimo (me) and everything that goes into plotting world domination (Which is what I picture Skippy doing in his citadel of silence, ie. the basement), we got it done!  Oh, and through in the fact that Peaches finished her associates degree and had a GRADUATION a couple weeks ago...yeah, we did good this year!

All that's left for the Bradley home is to enjoy a Christmas Eve service at The Bridge at St. Paul's (Check it out livestreaming on 12-24 at noon CST), come home, watch Krampus, do a shot of absinthe at midnight and then enjoy a wonderful Christmas morning together in peace and harmony.

Or something like that.

Now, does that mean this whole holiday season is about to go off without some sort of drama or hilarity or both? 

Well, of course not. 

I still have to leave my house for things, right? I still have to go DO things around PEOPLE whether I want to or not.

Case in point, my most recent trip to Target.

We've had some funky weather here in SE Wisconsin the last week.  It's been warm. It's been humid. And it's been WINDY!  So windy that a couple days ago we had some serious power outages in the area. that included my local Sam's Club (on a day I had to HAD to pick up THE MED for Skippy.) and my local Target store.

Now, believe it or not, and contrary to what you've read here over the years, I am a pretty laid back person.  Sure, standing in endless lines when it's 100 degrees in the store and I'm wearing a winter coat because it's 4 outside and the guy in front of me is arguing about a 16 cent rise in cost to his DOG'S prescription (true story.  That happened.) yes, I'm going to get a little twitchy. But come on.  I think I handle the foibles and frustrations of modern life with a sense of grace and goodwill.

Or something like that.

To prove this point, let's talk about my recent trip to Target. It came on the heels of a session in Physical Therapy. (Because of that fall I took back in September when I tripped over Peaches' flip flop while she was wearing it. I'm now in PT.)  and a trip to Sam's to get THE MED for Skippy, which is always fun.  I had to get home quickly to de-cat my house as much as possible because my parents were coming over!

(It should be noted my parents haven't come to my house, even though we live half an hour apart, in two years.  My father claims cat allergies.  It's a whole thing, and believe me, I'm in brain therapy for it. LOL)  

Anyway, I was under a little pressure and I wanted some festive Hershey Kisses to brighten my snack table for when my parents (who I literally see twice a week for stuff, but whatever) came over to my house.

Sam's Club candy aisle was really picked over.  So off to Target we go.

Now, the store had just gotten their power back, so the coolers were still being restocked with the stuff they moved....what, outside?  I don't know. What does Target do with their dairy and hotdogs when the coolers don't work?  Doesn't matter. I wasn't there for anything refrigerated. I wanted one thing and one thing only. Plain Hershey Kisses.

I headed right to the back of the store where they keep the seasonal stuff. 

It looked...well, you know that scene in "The Grinch" where it's a shot of Whooville after the Grinch has been through?  It looked a lot like that.

Nevertheless, there were plenty of packages on the aisle, a whole aisle, dedicated to Hershey kisses.  So I got into that aisle, eager to pick up a couple bags and get out quickly.

There was not one single bag of plain kisses in that aisle.  Not one.

There was almond. There was Hot Cocoa. There was something called "Cordial."  Oh, and there was that white chocolate one with the red stripes which is super gross and I won't have it in my house.

But no plain.

Well, I had things to do and cats to herd, so I picked up a mixed assortment and headed to the checkout counter.

I refuse to use self check, BTW.  It's not nearly as funny as interacting with a human.

So I get up to cashier, a tiny little infant of a girl who says, "Did you find everything okay?"

Normally I just say, "Yes," and move on with my life. But come on. Target was OUT of plain Hershey Kisses. This is an odd thing!  Did it have to do with the power outage?  Were the employees being paid in kisses? Are the plain kisses made in China and stuck on a boat outside of Los Angeles????

"No," says I, "You are completely out of plain Hershey Kisses."

The young woodland creature of a cashier looks at me and says, "really?"  She looks at the kisses display at the end of the aisle. "Wow, there aren't any there either.  Huh."

"Yes, indeed," say I.

"And you're out of chili sauce!" calls the woman behind me.    

Not sure why she's horning in on my check out time, but whatever. This counts as a conversation with more than one person, right? I can go back to my couch and be quiet for the rest of the day, right?

The darling little foundling of a cashier looks at the lady behind me and says, "oh yeah?" with wonder in her voice.

I look at the woman, who looks at me.  The cashier looks at both of us.  And then she sums it up for us.

"Weird."

There you have it, my friends.  

Oh, and stay weird, my friends. Because that's what we're doing now, I guess!