5 for Friday (on Monday): the only cleaning that matter for Holiday gatherings.

 

Good morning and Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

So, Hanukkah has begun and Christmas Eve is this coming Saturday.  And, even if you don't celebrate one of these two holidays, chances are better than even you're having some kind of late December celebration that involves extended family coming over for food and judgement.

Well, kids, listen to your good friend, Sarah, because I'm going to give you five tips to make you holiday prep much easier!  Hit these five points and your holiday will be fine.  (Hint:  No one cares about dusty floorboards or spots on the floor.)

Cleaning for the holidays is so overblown. I used to get myself in complete knots over making sure every nook, cranny, and corner was spotless.  Now, I'm older, wiser, and I have boiled down housekeeping prep to a list of 5 things you MUST do and the rest can be ignored.  Oh, and better yet, all five of these points are located in one room.  That's right. I'm not going to tell you to clean your oven or your microwave or even vacuum your carpets.  None of that matters.  (My sister-in-law once told me to clean my microwave during a Thanksgiving dinner because she was convinced my mother-in-law would think I was a slob. I cleaned the microwave, but other than sis in law, no one else looked in my microwave during that dinner. Also, at that point in my marriage, my mom-in-law thought I was a slob anyway. LOL)

I'm still a slob.  I live with two guys and four cats and honestly, 90% of the time I don't want outsiders in the house.  Those that show up are either people who are there all the time, like Skippy's girlfriend, Gigi, or like my mom, show sometimes shows up unexpectedly to  use my bathroom.  Well, you get what you get.  It's not always pretty.

But the holidays are a time for people from far flung regions (and branches of the family tree) to show up at the house and one must make an effort.  

Thusly and therefore, I give you my five points for holiday prep. Do these five things and nothing else matters.  

5)  Clean the toilet, sink, and mirrors. (Duh)

The toilet is the number 1, number 1 thing that has to be cleaned.  Scrub it, let bleach sit in it to white out the stains, and then drop in one of those blue blocks that makes the water blue. (Makes it smell nice and further hides any stains you might have on an older toilet, plus it looks like you made an effort.) Make sure there's no hair on the seat lid or on the floor around the toilet. 

While cleaning the bathroom sinks and mirrors might seem pointless, much the way cleaning the entry floor is because after the first person uses it it's no longer clean, at least run over the sinks and mirrors with some glass cleaner.  Takes forty seconds.

You don't need to do the shower or tub unless you're having overnight guests. Just pull the shower curtain/shower door closed. Anyone who snoops behind there to see if it's dirty should be ashamed.  If you do have overnight guests, here's a quick tip:  fill the tub 1/2 full with water. Pour half a gallon on bleach in there. Let sit for a couple hours.  Clean tub. For shower walls spray down with foaming spray and let that roll down the walls before you rinse.  Clean walls.  Spray bleach spray on any grout or calk that looks dingy, then rinse.  Done.

That should take you all of 15 minutes per bathroom, not counting sit time for the bleach tub.

4) Bathroom floors

Unlike the entry floors and the kitchen floor, you can't completely skip the bathroom floors.  But, you also don't have to go nuts cleaning. If you must mop, I can't stop you, but I've found that a million bathroom floor problems can be covered by a bathroom rug.  While you're cleaning the toilet, run a bleach wipe on the floor immediately around the toilet. Otherwise, a freshly washed or brand new bathroom rug or two will take care of the floor.  DO NOT use a fuzzy cover on the toilet.  While a fluffy rug is inviting, a fluffy toilet seat is asking for trouble.

3) Declutter

Normally, I'm all about covering housekeeping shortcomings with twinkle lights and shiny things.  But NOT in the bathroom.  Fancy soaps, kitschy things, and family pictures need to be GONE.  (Wall hangings are fine.)  In the bathroom, an empty surface is a clean surface.  DO NOT COVER THE TOIULET SEAT WITH ANYTHING FLUFFY.  Clear out the baskets you might use for hair tools, makeup, all of it. Box it all up and put it in a closet.  You want a spare decluttered room. Clear off the shelves, clean out the drawers.

2) Make the bathroom user friendly.

Now that you've decluttered, it's time to prep the bathroom for guests.  This is why you've cleared off the shelves and cleaned out the drawers.  

First:  A PLUNGER must be near the toilet, in plain view. Do not hide the plunger.  Do not put the plunger in a closet.  Put it next to the toilet.  Trust me on this one.

Second: extra hand towels go on the shelf.  A wet hand towel is gross.  Set out a folded stack of hand towels so no one has to use wet ones.  Also, set a basket someplace and mark it "wet towels."

Third: Bleach wipes on the shelf.  You don't know what kind of toilet emergency your guests might have and they want to keep it that way.  Have a large container of bleach wipes out in the open.

Fourth: Feminine Punctuation protection in a drawer.  I don't care if your party is nothing but guys and elderly women. Have a package of pads and tampons in the drawer closest to the toilet.  These things don't spoil, but your party will if some woman has an unexpected punctuation and has to go asking people for help.

Fifth: TWO extra rolls of TP ON A SHELF.  Much like the bleach spray and the plunger, you don't want people unable to find extra TP when they need it.  Yes, you have adorable TP covers or a lovely basket or a discrete shelf.  Screw that.  Put the TP on the shelf by the bleach wipes and the extra towels.

1) If it smells clean it IS clean.

I worked for a cleaning company for 12 years, so I know what I'm talking about.  Keep the bathroom smelling clean.  Have a small, clean scented candle (not floral or baking, something fresh like clean linen or spring air or something like that) burning throughout the length of the party.  Also have a full can of air freshener out in a obvious place.  You may want to check periodically and spray the room just as a precaution.  

Oh, one other thing to ponder:  Sound proofing.  Smells and messes aren't the only thing people want to hide in the bathroom.  Bathroom sounds need to be muffled as best as possible.  A vent fan is a good start, but for the holidays, especially if you have a bathroom close to the kitchen or other room where everyone will be, you may want more sound buffering.

I recommend putting a radio or MP 3 player or something other music thing and have holiday tunes playing for the whole party.  Believe me, this will ease a lot of embarrassment!

There you go.  The rest of your house won't matter if you take care of the bathroom. Also, make sure you have, you know, food and drink.  But a successful holiday party is NOT going to hinge on how clean your microwave is.  People will remember feeling comfortable in your house, especially in your bathroom.