FIVE FOR FRIDAY! Why I want to move to Middle Tennessee.

 

Good morning all!  Welcome to the Five for Friday!  This week we're going to address the five top reasons I want to move to Middle Tennessee, and no, it's not because I love Nashville. I mean, I do, but that's not in the top five reason.  Or maybe it is. I don't know. All I know is I've been home from my vaca in Middle TN for a week and I want to go back RIGHT NOW!

(A gentle reminder:  I do not deal with politics in any manner, nor do I allow political comments on my blog or FB page. This blog is for entertainment/humor purposes.  If you want to bark about the political policies of any state, go someplace else. Thank you!)

So here we go with the top five reasons I want to move to Middle Tennessee.

5) They name roads after people they don't know.  Which means I have a shot at getting a road named after me!

I'm not even making this up:  We stayed at place in Lieper's Fork, TN, which is close to Franklin, TN, which is kind of close to Nashville.  If you're in the area, you'll either drive on or cross MACK HATCHER MEMORIAL PARKWAY about fifty times.  It's a very large highway project that was completed a few years back. It's a road that circles Franklin.  If you're in the area, you cannot miss it.  Also, it's new, it's beautiful, and it clearly cost a crap ton of money.

But: who was Mack Hatcher?   Turns out, most of the people who voted for and paid for this highway project had NO CLUE who this dude was. (click on the link to read the news story that the local papers pulled out of dustballs because even the news people didn't know!)

What this means is that I, a fairly unknown entity who works very hard to be a public figure, have a shot at getting some kind of road or avenue or lane named after me...if I move to Middle TN.  I'm pretty sure THAT would boost my book sales, right?

4) Really interesting Civil War history.

This isn't political, this is history, and Tennessee as a state, and Middle Tennessee as a location, is silly with it. Did you know that Tennessee sent more troops to fight for the UNION than any other Confederate state?  And some of the worst battles in the war were fought in Tennessee. 

It's also why, to my complete astonishment, there's a statue honoring Union Colored troops and then not fifty feet away another statue honoring Confederate soldiers in Franklin. I find that fascinating and I want to know more!

3) Biscuits, Biscuits everywhere!

It should come as no surprise that I enjoy a good biscuit. And I'm sure most people know that the best place to find biscuits (the American kind, not the British word for 'cookie') is in the South.  

Did we eat biscuits while we were there?  You know we did!

Pimento cheese and fried green tomatoes on biscuits from the Loveless Cafe.

We ate at the Loveless Cafe (thank you to the show, Somebody Feed Phil, and enjoyed their lard based drop biscuits.  They were good. They were solid and fluffy all at once. I thoroughly enjoyed the pimento cheese (don't knock it 'til you try it) and fried green tomato on the biscuit.  

Then...

It's called the SEC (without cheese for me) and a side of sausage gravy at Biscuit Love.

Then we discovered a happy little place called Biscuit Love where the biscuits were butter based, layered, melty, and beautiful.  In the battle of the biscuits, (so far) this was my favorite.

But THEN...

Oh don't get excited, this is still from Biscuit Love, 

The BONUT.

Those geniuses created the BONUT.  This their biscuit batter dropped into frying oil, then set on a bed of blueberry compote and DRIZZLED (see picture above, if that's drizzled, well, I'd hate to see FROSTED) with a lemon, mascarpone creme.

So, yeah. I need to move to further my studies in biscuits.

Honorable mention, because it's not a biscuit, but it is a baked good:  Five Daughters Bakery

Why this bakery?  Well, their specialty is a little thing called a 100 Layer Doughnut.

Sorry, bakeries in Wisconsin. All other pastries are ruined for me forever.

2) Property Taxes

This is going to be short and sweet.  I enjoy looking at real estate listings in places we visit. I like to see what housing prices are and what property taxes look like.

Know what property taxes are on a $3 million dollar condo in the heart of Downtown Nashville is? We're talking a 3 b4ed, two bath, high rise, all updated, all glorious condo.

$300 a month.

That's what I'm currently paying on my modest little spot here in Wisconsin.

Oh, what about the HOA fees, you ask?  On that $3 million listing...$280 a month. I've seen HOA fees DOUBLE that on a 1 and 1 condo here in Waukesha.  And those don't include underground parking!

Oh yeah, all this and NO PERSONAL INCOME TAXES.

Middle Tennessee here I come!

1) You aren't going to believe this.

If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know I have one big, overwhelming issues that tends to cloud my opinion of all public spaces: The restroom.

I'm here to tell you...EVERY. SINGLE. RESTROOM. WAS. CLEAN.

We went to public restrooms in a large food court, at a professional baseball game, in a concert venue, in restaurants, and even one in a little dive bar only locals go to:  EVERY SINGLE ONE WAS SUPER CLEAN!  

Not just acceptable...no no. I'm talking about CLEAN.  The one at the baseball game even smelled like FRIED CHICKEN.  WHAT???????????????

I didn't see any paper products on the floor, there were no unflushed toilets, and everything was shiny and nice.

(On a side note...Indiana still remains the state with the GROSSEST public restrooms. What's the deal, Indiana?)

Every public restroom I go into from now on is going to be judged by this experience.  It wasn't one location, it was all of them, and all of them were fresh, good smelling, and clean.  AND THAT, my friends, is the biggest reason why I want to move to Middle Tennessee!