Hey, slow down, these are our precious Christmas heirlooms!

Good morning!

So yesterday...and today...we are removing all the Christmas crap from the house.  Now, I love Christmas.  I love having the house decorated.  I love the lights...I love everything about Christmas trees, pretty Christmas candle holders, garland, ornaments, Christmas stuff in the bathroom.

It's my favorite thing.

Until January 6, when it becomes my least favorite thing.

Get these cursed things away from me!

January 6 rolls around, and like some automatic alarm, something goes off in my head that screams, "GET IT OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!"

Maybe it's because Christmas is over and I want to declutter.  Maybe it's because I'm tired of the cats pouncing on each from the most excellent hiding spot under the tree.  (We think a cat sitting under a lighted tree is oh so pretty.  Cats think it's the best way to prepare for war.)

Yesssss.  The humans think I'm cute.  Little do they know I am sitting
here just waiting for the right moment to POUNCE!

(For the record, yes, I am one of those people who start yelling "TAKE IT DOWN" out of the car window.  I start doing that the first week of February.  There, you've been warned.)

This eagerness to de-Christmas the house might seem like the result of a wish to be tidy. 

If you saw how I store my Christmas crap, you'd have serious doubts about that.

Every year, I drag out no less than 22 big plastic boxes full of random Christmas items.  Most of these items haven't seen the light of day for at least five years.  BUT I cannot toss them or give them away.  THESE ARE MY PRECIOUS HOLIDAY HEIRLOOMS.

Now I could...I suppose...put the many items I have no intention of using in this house EVER into separate boxes.  I could label each box as to what it has in it.  I COULD  put the boxes of items I know I will use in this house each year at the top of the stack of boxes so that when I go to decorate next year, it won't be the back breaking drawn out battle it is every year.

Please don't take down the tree...I haven't reached the top branch yet!

I could.  But I probably won't.

No, instead what can...and will happen this year, because it's what happens every year, is my frantic desire to "GET IT DOWN RIGHT NOW" will overwhelm my desire to organize that pit of death under the stairs.  I will drag out all 22 boxes, I will jam random things from this year into each, and I will shove them back under the stairs without even thinking.

And next year I will curse myself and my disorganized ways as I open all 22 boxes to find that one precious thing that I MUST PUT UP.

All set for next year.  How nice.  Blah, blah, blah diddy blah!

Oh you have one of these....and you use it?  Well...aren't you just the most? 
I need to lie down.

Hubby does the outside lights, and he does not have this problem.  He has two boxes.  That's it.  Two boxes for our outside display.  Two boxes and then he hangs the dozen or so light up candy canes from a rafter in the garage.  He does everything in an afternoon.  And when he is done, there is no trace of Christmas in the garage or outside.  Everything is put away.

Meanwhile, I have three strings of lights two garland ropes, and our toilet paper roll angel that Skippy made in preschool sitting on my kitchen table.  Those items will now sit there until probably Valentine's Day, when I will be so sick of looking at them, I'll actually BUY another box to put them in.  I'd take them downstairs and put them in an existing box, but I don't have the energy, now that everything is down and I have room in my living room for the cats to do battle with each other again, to find a box with space for three strings of lights, some garland, and our precious Christmas heirloom angel.

Good enough for me!  What's on Netflix?

Which is why next year I'll have 23 boxes, and not one more degree of organization.

Laundry List Friday: Five rules everyone should live by...according to me!

Good morning!

So I'm back from a short get away with Peaches.  While I'll dwell on the details of the trip in a later post, I will say this:  There's something very nice about hanging out with your kid when she still likes you.  Skippy no longer wants to hang out with old mom, but I'm enjoying my few last years with Peaches before she goes out into the big old world and I become "mother."

But today I think I need to lay down a few of the ground rules that everyone should be following because, well, they are rules I live by and therefore everyone should follow them! 

5) If you're going to ask the question, "How are you doing?" as a form of a greeting, you MUST stop and face the person you're asking and wait for a reply, no matter how long that reply might be.


I walk past a lot of people in the course of a week and I always try to say a cheery "hello!"  I figure it's just good manners.  What I don't understand, however, is when people respond to my "Hello" with a "How are you doing?"  and then whisk past me.  Do we not understand that "How are you doing?"  is a QUESTION and therefore requires an answer?    And frankly, if you're going to ask such an open ended question, you really should at least pause and wait for an answer, even if it's the usual, "Just fine, thanks." 

That's just good manners.

4) Unless you are under the age of 6 or actively working out in a gym, jammie pants/sweatpants are really NOT okay to wear in public. This goes DOUBLE if you are a MAN. TRIPLE if you are trying to pick up a woman in the bank. QUADRUPLE if said jammie pants have cartoon characters on them.






If you bear any resemblance to this guy...the answer is NO, she is NOT interested.



I realize that lounge pants are awesome.  They are comfortable.  They are fun.  They keep us young, and make some of us feel cool.  However, if you are not a child, it's really not okay to be wandering around in these in public.  Oh sure, I'm guilty of this myself.  I have a favorite pair of sweats that I wear, especially on days I'm going for a weigh in at Gold's.  However, if you are a MAN and you are wearing cartoon character jammie pants in public, save yourself the major embarrassment, and use the drive through at the bank.  While watching you try to pick up a woman in line is great theater for the rest of us, sort of like watching an episode of "The Office" it's not good for your self esteem and chances are you're going to be one of those guys who winds up driving your car into the side of a house or something because you were rejected.  Guys, women do NOT dig guys in lounge pants, especially those with cartoon characters.  We think they are sort of creepy.  Put on jeans...you'd be amazed how much more receptive we are.

3)  If you are driving and you make a turn without using your directionals, expect someone to yell something at you.

I would say the vast majority of drivers are NOT mind readers.  And while I'm not in favor of having physical road tests every year for every driver, (Mostly because I'm not sure I would pass.)  I am in favor of caning people who do not use their turn signals.  I cannot count the number of times I've had a near miss because the driver in front of me or next to me decided to make that turn across traffic in front of me with NO WARNING WHATSOEVER.  One of the best accidents I was ever in involved some knucklehead who decided to park on the left side of the street while he was driving on the right.  It was a one way street.  My car was between knucklehead and the the parking spot he craved.  Oh, and I was 8 months pregnant.  That was a very fun exchange of insurance info, I can tell you.

2)  If you are a movie theater and you charge $4.00 for a box of candy, but the store next door is selling the same box of candy for a $1.00  GET OVER YOURSELF...people are going to bring it in. 



 Posting those sorry signs about "no carry ins allowed" is only going to work with people like my Hubby.  The rest of the planet is going to bring in candy because you're already gouging us at the box office.  $10 a ticket to see something starring George Lopez as the voice of a dog?  You should be paying ME to eat something while I'm watching.

1)  It's April 1.  TAKE DOWN YOUR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS!



If you put up so many decorations that you haven't had the time to take them down by now, then cut back on the celebratory lights next time around.  Seriously, it's APRIL.  Granted, we're still getting snow here in Wisconsin, but we've had enough nice days for you to get off the couch and take down the lights. No one wants to see Santa this time of year.  And yes, your neighbors ARE laughing at you.  And so is everyone else who drives by your house. 

So get out of the cartoon character lounge pants and take down the lights!

See, those aren't such bad rules, are they?  And really, if people would listen to me, there are a lot of things would be better around here.