It's Resolution Time!

 

Happy New Year Everyone!

Well, it's not quite 2022.  The frenzy of Christmas and other holidays is pretty much over. Traditionally, many people party hard on December 31, ringing in the new year with drinking and noise, as if trying to drown out the old year and kicking open the door to something new and better.

Normally I'd be posting my resolution report card, grading myself on how I did on those promises I made to myself and the world last year.  Well, if you recall, I didn't do that.  Thusly, no grading this year. We all pass!  YAY!

Friends, I'm convinced 2022 is going to be better than her older sisters, 2021, and that hag, 2020.  But it's going to take all of us working together to make it so. This is beyond the usual "lose weight/stop spending money I don't have" usual stuff.  We need to put some work into ourselves and each other. Therefore, here are my resolutions for 2022:

1)  Continue working the #Noomweightloss program; and share it with others so they can see the amazing health benefits by simply understanding our relationship with food. (I'm down 30 pounds since May and while I haven't lost any measurable weight in the last two months, I haven't gained anything either, which, during the holidays, is amazing.  The plan works, my friends.) 

2) Enjoy drinking coffee black. Since I have an issue with dairy, and I have yet to find a non-dairy coffee creamer that's worth the red calories, I've started just drinking it black.  I'm not quite there yet, but it's a step.  I'm pretty sure Peaches will respect me more!

3) Learn to empathize, not apologize.  This is big for me. I apologize for literally everything.  I say, "I'm sorry," more than I say anything else on any given day.  I have to learn I'm not to blame for every ache and pain.  Hubby will be happier with me if I stop apologizing for everything every minute of the day!

4) Help without smothering.  Skippy and Peaches will both cheer at this one. I do tend to overdo it when I sense someone needs a bit of help.

5) Educate myself about those who are different from me.  It's a big world out there.  Not everyone looks, thinks, loves, or worships the same way I do.  And everyone is dealing with a multitude of challenges about which I know nothing.  I want to learn so I can reach out and be a helpful, friendly, loving person without causing offense or hurting someone's feelings.

6)  Finish the darn book!  (Oh, you knew that one was coming.)  I did not make writing a big priority in 2021...it needs to be this year. I have plans, big plans, for the next phase of my writing career.

In conclusion, Happy New Year everyone.  Be safe tonight.  Be smart.  

And hey, it's okay if we don't fully realize our resolutions this year.  

But I think, if we are good to each other, if we are kind, if we smile instead of frown, cheer instead of jeer, and help each other up instead of pushing each other down, we are going to be okay. We don't have to agree with each other. We don't even have to understand each other completely.  All we have to do is be respectful. Be kind. 

(One of my favorite Bible passages. I'm sure other religions have a similar command in their holy books.  I would love to hear them!)

And with that, my friends and readers, I close out 2021.  Here's to 2022...may she suck less and make us laugh more that her older sisters!

Target Cashier's response sums up modern life in one word.

 

It's Christmas Week! WHOO HOO!  Have you lost your mind yet?

I'm going to just say it: Here at the Bradley house, it's a super chill (rare) moment of peace.  Gifts...wrapped and under the tree.  Cards...being mailed as we speak.  (No talk of "Epiphany cards" that turn into "easter Cards" that turn into "Oh whatever.")  Cookies...baked, AND DECORATED and ready to roll!  

Now, no, I did not do all this myself. Nope, this was a team effort, but despite Covid (Tom and Peaches) and an emergency appendectomy (Peaches) and Nanowrimo (me) and everything that goes into plotting world domination (Which is what I picture Skippy doing in his citadel of silence, ie. the basement), we got it done!  Oh, and through in the fact that Peaches finished her associates degree and had a GRADUATION a couple weeks ago...yeah, we did good this year!

All that's left for the Bradley home is to enjoy a Christmas Eve service at The Bridge at St. Paul's (Check it out livestreaming on 12-24 at noon CST), come home, watch Krampus, do a shot of absinthe at midnight and then enjoy a wonderful Christmas morning together in peace and harmony.

Or something like that.

Now, does that mean this whole holiday season is about to go off without some sort of drama or hilarity or both? 

Well, of course not. 

I still have to leave my house for things, right? I still have to go DO things around PEOPLE whether I want to or not.

Case in point, my most recent trip to Target.

We've had some funky weather here in SE Wisconsin the last week.  It's been warm. It's been humid. And it's been WINDY!  So windy that a couple days ago we had some serious power outages in the area. that included my local Sam's Club (on a day I had to HAD to pick up THE MED for Skippy.) and my local Target store.

Now, believe it or not, and contrary to what you've read here over the years, I am a pretty laid back person.  Sure, standing in endless lines when it's 100 degrees in the store and I'm wearing a winter coat because it's 4 outside and the guy in front of me is arguing about a 16 cent rise in cost to his DOG'S prescription (true story.  That happened.) yes, I'm going to get a little twitchy. But come on.  I think I handle the foibles and frustrations of modern life with a sense of grace and goodwill.

Or something like that.

To prove this point, let's talk about my recent trip to Target. It came on the heels of a session in Physical Therapy. (Because of that fall I took back in September when I tripped over Peaches' flip flop while she was wearing it. I'm now in PT.)  and a trip to Sam's to get THE MED for Skippy, which is always fun.  I had to get home quickly to de-cat my house as much as possible because my parents were coming over!

(It should be noted my parents haven't come to my house, even though we live half an hour apart, in two years.  My father claims cat allergies.  It's a whole thing, and believe me, I'm in brain therapy for it. LOL)  

Anyway, I was under a little pressure and I wanted some festive Hershey Kisses to brighten my snack table for when my parents (who I literally see twice a week for stuff, but whatever) came over to my house.

Sam's Club candy aisle was really picked over.  So off to Target we go.

Now, the store had just gotten their power back, so the coolers were still being restocked with the stuff they moved....what, outside?  I don't know. What does Target do with their dairy and hotdogs when the coolers don't work?  Doesn't matter. I wasn't there for anything refrigerated. I wanted one thing and one thing only. Plain Hershey Kisses.

I headed right to the back of the store where they keep the seasonal stuff. 

It looked...well, you know that scene in "The Grinch" where it's a shot of Whooville after the Grinch has been through?  It looked a lot like that.

Nevertheless, there were plenty of packages on the aisle, a whole aisle, dedicated to Hershey kisses.  So I got into that aisle, eager to pick up a couple bags and get out quickly.

There was not one single bag of plain kisses in that aisle.  Not one.

There was almond. There was Hot Cocoa. There was something called "Cordial."  Oh, and there was that white chocolate one with the red stripes which is super gross and I won't have it in my house.

But no plain.

Well, I had things to do and cats to herd, so I picked up a mixed assortment and headed to the checkout counter.

I refuse to use self check, BTW.  It's not nearly as funny as interacting with a human.

So I get up to cashier, a tiny little infant of a girl who says, "Did you find everything okay?"

Normally I just say, "Yes," and move on with my life. But come on. Target was OUT of plain Hershey Kisses. This is an odd thing!  Did it have to do with the power outage?  Were the employees being paid in kisses? Are the plain kisses made in China and stuck on a boat outside of Los Angeles????

"No," says I, "You are completely out of plain Hershey Kisses."

The young woodland creature of a cashier looks at me and says, "really?"  She looks at the kisses display at the end of the aisle. "Wow, there aren't any there either.  Huh."

"Yes, indeed," say I.

"And you're out of chili sauce!" calls the woman behind me.    

Not sure why she's horning in on my check out time, but whatever. This counts as a conversation with more than one person, right? I can go back to my couch and be quiet for the rest of the day, right?

The darling little foundling of a cashier looks at the lady behind me and says, "oh yeah?" with wonder in her voice.

I look at the woman, who looks at me.  The cashier looks at both of us.  And then she sums it up for us.

"Weird."

There you have it, my friends.  

Oh, and stay weird, my friends. Because that's what we're doing now, I guess!

That's One Way to Get my Steps in!

 

Good day to all of you out there!

To those of you who celebrate Christmas:  Merry Christmas and get shopping! LOL

To those of you who celebrate Hanukkah: Happy Hanukkah!

To those of you who celebrate something else: Happy Holidays and the Best Season's Greetings!

Okay, so this year for my birthday I got a gift card to Kohls from my dear mother-in-law. She's been very supportive through my weight loss journey (down 27 pounds since May, thank you #Noom!  And now, I'm not on Dr. Now's diet because, well, I like food! LOL)

Anyway, she got me the gift card because she wanted me to get some new clothes for my new size, which I did. I found a really nifty pair of smaller sized jeans.  But, since it's Kohl's, they were on clearance plus I had a coupon plus there was another discount which meant I had money on the GC for something else.

I'm really not in need of anything that much, but I figured a new purse would be nice. I've been using the same two purses for years. One I got at St. Vincent de Paul and it's big and bulky and heavy. The other one is a touch too small for everything I need to carry around, plus it's getting old too.

So, I bought a purse. A nice, stylish, moderately large purse.  And then I put my stuff in it.

And now it weighs about fifty pounds.

Don't believe me, ask my friend, Buttercup!  She hefted it recently while we were waiting in line to get our CDs signed by everyone at the Bob and Brian Show.  (It's something we do every year. Not sure what it is, or who Bob and Brian are?  Click on the link or read past posts on this blog!  LOL)   

Anyway, so, what I'm saying is, my purse is heavy.

 I've emptied that thing half a dozen times, trimmed down what's in it, and it still weighs a ton.  And I've only had it a few weeks.

Well, I like it, so I'll live with it. 

Or that's what I thought...until yesterday.  

See, I have this really organized wallet. It's pink, it's cute, it holds all my cards and whatever stray cash I might actually have and then it's in the purse all nice and ready to go.

The problem, as it usually is, is with me. When I use a card at a store, I rarely, if ever, put it back in the wallet.  Half the time I put the card in a little open side pocket that's really there to hold a phone or gum or maybe a packet of tissues.  NOT a tiny little credit/debit card.  Half the time I just drop it in the purse, which, as we've established, is large and full of mystery stuff.

So yesterday I was returning from a trip to the grocery store, and it doesn't really matter which one, where I used my debit card.  I also used the self-check which is kind of a high stress situation for me.  I don't respond well to machines, I tend to yell at them. If my phone rings, I yell at it.  If my alarm clock on my phone goes off, I mentally yell at it.  I talk to my car all the time.  Most of the time, if Hubby or one of the kids isn't sure whom I'm yelling at, I'll say I'm talking to the cats. In reality, I'm probably yelling at a machine.

So it is with self-check.  That creepy automated voice makes me angry.  And that's what happened yesterday. I bought three things, all of which were tiny and light weight. I scanned them and put them in the bagging area.

And Creepy Automated Voice (CAV) said, "Put item in bagging area."

"I did put the item in the bagging area."

CAV:  Put item in the bagging area.

Sarah: I DID PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA.

CAV: Put item in the bagging area.

Sarah (picking up the item and slamming it on the bagging area: THERE NOW IT'S IN THE BAGGING AREA YOU #%#%&.  

This conversation continued for all three items.

By the time I was done, I was sweating, angry, and quite possibly banned from the grocery store.  (On a side note, I should mention that with the influx of self-check machines in stores there's also been an influx of "out of order" signs for self-check machines. something to think about.)

What this means is that my debit card was simply dumped into the pit of despair...I mean, my purse.

When I got home, I opened the car door and grabbed my purse, which was on the passenger seat next to me.  (I know, I know.  I'm not supposed to put it there because robbers and whatnot.)  In grabbing the strap, the purse itself, which was unzipped and open, caught on the parking brake bar and upended, dumping untold items of varying sizes and weights in the tiny space between the seats and the parking brake.

Sigh.

I gathered up what I could and stuffed it back into my purse and then went about the rest of my day.

That's not the end of the story.

Of course it isn't.

Later in the day I had to go to my first physical therapy session. Yes, this is for treatment on the knee I injured back in SEPTEMBER when I fell at Sam's Club. And yes, I know it's December.  I thought it would get better by itself. Then it didn't. Then it was NANOWRIMO. Then we had Covid in the House. Then it was Thanksgiving. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

Anyway...

Before heading out to the therapy place (and believe me, there will be blogs about that) I figured I should make sure I had everything I needed. Bottle of water. Mask.  Debit card just in case there was some weird charge I didn't know about.

Debit card.   Hmmmmmm....where is that?  Not in my wallet. Not in the purse.  Not in my pants pocket.  I head outside to double check the car. I look under the seats. Nope. I look around the floor mats. Nope.  I look under the seats again.

I go back in the house. I check all the usual place where I drop stuff: my desk. The kitchen counter.  The end table on my end of the couch. The bathroom magazine basket.  (Shut up. It's where I find my phone half the time.)

Oh yeah, I'm racking up the steps!  

I then check the car again.  I check the kitchen again. I look in all the pockets of my new purse AGAIN.  Nothing.

I'm about to call my back when I decide to check the wallet one more time. And there...tucked nicely in its normal spot, right behind the Kwik Trip card...my debit card.