Five for Friday: Ways to save some money...honestly!

Good morning!

Some time ago I did something called "Laundry List Friday."  People seemed to like it, but, thanks to the fact that I'm easily distracted, I stopped writing it.  Recently, thanks to a conversation I had with a co worker about weird things we do to save time or money, I decided to bring it back, but better...or better-ISH...than before.

So today I'm sharing with you five things I do to save money.  These aren't big moves and you probably won't be able to take a vacation on what you save...or maybe you will. 

Here we go:


5)  Want new books, but hate new book prices?  Try something really new!

This may sound like shameless promotion, and it is sort of, but I hear this from readers all the time:  I am looking for a really good book, but I hate paying bookstore prices.  

REally...you're going to spend
$19.95 on anything
she has to say?

Well, if you have a reading device, how about trotting over to your favorite book store website and checking out digital books from new authors?  These books are always original, they rarely cost more than $2.99 and I promise you, the writing is going to be as painstakingly good as anything Snookie could possibly crank out.

Don't have a reading device?  Amazon offers a print service for new authors and these titles are typically less expensive than their big name counterparts.   As luck would have it...BOTH my titles are for sale at Amazon!

Want a reading device?  A good starter is the Kindle.  For the price of about three hard cover books new you can get a basic Kindle, which will open up a world of new authors, new voices, new stories.

Love recycling?  Every town has a second hand book store.  Mine is Half price Books.  I get almost all my books, movies, and music there.

4)  Need basics?  Try the men's department.

Turtle necks, mock necks, polo shirts, and socks.  Unless you need pink buying these basic items in the men's department will save you money.  How?  Because it's a FACT, men's clothing is the same price or less expensive, it's way better made, and it's truer to size.  Oh, and men's shirts tend to be made a bit longer, so for those of us that don't have a wash board stomach, the shirts will actually cover us.  The same goes for belts.  If you need a basic black or brown belt that's going to hold up your jeans and not fall apart the third time you wear it, go to the men's department.

3)  Got a headache? Why make it worse?

Got cramps? I can help.

In most cases, store brand pain killers and over the counter meds are EXACTLY THE SAME as their far more pricey counter parts.  And in one very important case, the store brand works better.  Aspirin, Ibuprofen, Naxaproxin, anything PM, and heartburn tablets...the store brand is identical and can be up to half the price of their more glamorous counterparts.  And in the case of every one's favorite PMS med, MYDOL, the TARGET brand of "menstrual symptoms relief" works far better.  Look for the bottle with the pink lettering.  The biggest plus for the Target brand?  It comes in an easy to open bottle as opposed to those blister packs.  And when you're ready to commit some sort of crime because you're bloated and your hormones are line dancing through your system, is wrangling with a double layer blister pack something you really want to be doing?

WARNING:  The same does NOT hold true for frozen waffles.  Get the Eggos...seriously.

2) Shaving cream...and lotion?  Save money, time and space.

We all have limited space in our showers, and having to have shaving cream, maybe a lotion or baby oil, AND hair conditioner in there just to shave the legs and whatnot takes up a lot of value able real estate that could be used for you know, you.  Get rid of everything except the hair conditioner.  hair conditioner works very well as a shaving cream. First, you already have it in the shower.  Second, you never use as much conditioner as you use shampoo, so if you pair your hair care products, you always are out of balance.  Third, hair conditioner is less expensive than shaving cream and moisturizes way better.

BONUS:  Extend the life of your razor...store it outside the shower.

1)  Stop the runs with syrup.

For those of you who still wear dresses, and therefore wear pantyhose, here's a tip I've been using for decades.  It's an old waitress trick.  Got a run?  Don't reach for the nail polish.  Dab a bit of pancake syrup instead.  If you're a normal person, you're probably closer to pancake syrup at any give moment of the day than you are nail polish.  Plus, syrup works just as well as polish AND it smells better.  BONUS, it dries clear, so instead of having a random dab of color on your leg, no one will see your patch job.

So there you go.  Save some pennies, put them away,

Laundry List Friday: 5 reasons I know I am NOT the worst parent in the world.

Hello all!

Raising children, some will tell you, is a tough job.  I once bought a refrigerator magnet that said, "Raising teens is like nailing jell-o to a tree."

One of the hardest parts of raising children is the constant concern that our children are right:  We really are the worst parents in the world. 

Well, I am not one of those people who worries about that.  No, sir.  I KNOW  I am NOT the worst parent in the world...and I have five points to prove it.

5)  I don't nag about household chores.

I'm not one of those tightly wound parents who gets all wicky when their kid's room is a mess.  Frankly, I just don't care...unless my in-laws are coming, and then I care just enough to say this:  "Shove everything under your bed...I don't want your grandmother thinking I'm a pig."

4)  We all have our seats around the coffee table at dinnertime.

Studies have shown that families that eat dinner together stay together longer.  Some people were so into this whole thing that take out places went full bore on a campaign to get families to talk to each other.  One pizza place actually printed topics of discussion on their pizza boxes...just so families would have something to talk about.  I do not have that problem.  As long as The Simpsons are on at 6 PM Central...the Bradley family will have something to discuss while they are eating.

3)  I don't fear my kids' music.  In fact, I sort of like it.

One of the weirdest things my parents ever did when we were teens was, at dinner...(and again, does anything good really come from a family eating a meal together without benefit of a TV?)  we were required to play a record of our choosing and explain the lyrics.  My brother, the sneaky one, on his nights, choose things like "A Charlie Brown Christmas"  or "Disney's, The Jungle Book."

Meanwhile...I, the honest one...had to recite and explain the lyrics to "Superfreak" over my mother's burned potatoes.

That moment taught me a lesson:  I am never going to completely love my kids' choice in music.  But I'm certainly not going to fear it.  I grew up with Alice Cooper, AC/DC, and Anthrax.  And those were just the A's.  Sure, I listened to more than my fair share of Barry Manilow back then, but I knew every word to "Relax" and I totally got it.  And I turned out just fine...

Music is always going to be about rebellion.  Hey, Bach and Beethoven where the shock rockers of their day.  We just don't think that way because let's face it, the harpsichord is sort of a sissy instrument now and it's hard to feel the rage and madness in a neatly phrased 3/4 time piece entitled "Sheep may safely Graze."

So now I'm listening and screamo and Lady Gaga bleed through the walls of my house...and it's okay. 


2)  I've not yet been invited to be on Maury Povich.

I might seem like I'm this really repressed, ultra conservative, super religious, backward thinking Midwest mom.  But nothing could be more wrong.  Well, except for the repressed...conservative...religious Midwest part.  Anyway, I always laugh when I see those commercials on TV telling me how to start a conversation about drugs with my kids.  Here's what I tell them every day:

Don't drink
Don't smoke
Don't do drugs
Keep your clothes on

And, in case that daily reminder doesn't always seem to fall on listening ears, I will, at random times offer various other tidbits of parental advice and encouragement:

Don't you make me a grandmother before you make me a mother in law.

This, right here, is a felony now.  So keep it clean.  (Skippy, who is 18, has a girlfriend who is a bit younger.)

No, you don't have to go to school...I'll stay home from work, and we'll watch "Master and Commander" just like we did when you faked being sick in grade school.  Oh, you're feeling better?

Go to your bloody classes!

You think vodka tastes like nail polish remover?  Well, let me tell you...all alcohol tastes like that.  All of it.  The only reason I drink it is to kill the pain in my back.  Believe me, it's harsh to have to drink it.



1)  I've never encouraged my children to endanger themselves so we could get a reality show.

Two words:  Falcon Heene.

A perfect family...and their balloon...and a hoax they planned to foist on us all. 
How did this not turn up as a TV show on ABC?  I mean, they have room in their
schedule after canceling "Scoundrels"  JUST AS IT WAS GETTING GOOD!

So there you go...my children will probably disagree...although given the vast amount of parental leniency they're getting tonight so I can write, I would doubt it, but there are the reasons I am NOT the worst parent in the world.

Laundry List Friday: Five reasons I AM TV Mom Material!

Hey all Happy Friday!

Sorry...I know I promised this post last week, but I have been working on the new novel like an insane woman...oh, and the Elsie book is coming along nicely, too.  So I got a little sidetracked on my way to this list.

Two weeks ago I pointed out five TV moms that prove I am NOT TV mom material.  This week, I'm calling up five other TV moms that prove I could could a TV mom!

Here we go:

5:  Debra Barone

Juggling nosey in-laws, a goofy man child husband and kids?  Debra was a housewife in the truest sense of the word, because except for a few rare episodes, the woman's whole world was her house and her family.  Granted, I sometimes did wonder where those kids were...but the episode where Debra and Ray are retelling the story about the can opener and the tuna?  Been there, done that!

4:  Roseanne Conner

My husband loathes the show "Roseanne," but something, for me, always rang true.  Hey, a mom who struggles with lousy jobs, trying to find her voice as a writer...in a basement room?  I learned how to "pay bills" from Roseanne.  Granted, I've never told my kids to go play in traffic, but my living room bears a very scary resemblance to hers....oh, and mother issues?  Sing it sister!

3)  Claire Dunphy

My family may not be quite as modern as hers...but a well meaning hubby who thinks he's cool?  Kids that make her crazy? A brother that pushes her buttons?  The desire to DO SOMETHING and MAKE THINGS BETTER?  (Okay, maybe not so much that one.  LOL)  But still, I see a lot of myself in Claire's endless struggle just to get from one end of the day to another without pushing a family member into traffic.

2)  Marge Simpson

She's loved the same man for more than twenty years.  Her son is a handful, her daughter is an over achiever.  (Sorry Maggie, I don't have a third kid!)  She tends her home with as much energy as she is able after a day of being a Simpson, and she serves different dinners to her different family members.  Oh...and I, too, have lost hair to stress, discovered the joys of drinking wine, and wish my family would dress up more often.

1)  Frankie Heck

"The Middle" might be my favorite show of all time.  How much do I love it?  I miss the first half of "Survivor" to watch it.  Why?  Because every word that comes out of Frankie Heck's mouth is something I have said!  The most recent episode, she's trying to prepare her eldest, Axel, for the PSAT's.  (We call Skippy "Axel" now.)  her daughter is always optimistic, and typically falls short.  While Peaches hasn't had quite the set backs Sue Heck has...I see a lot of myself and my own teen years in the girl.  To make me see myself in mother and child...that's genius.  Oh...and my house could be a secondary filming site, right down to the toaster waffles in the freezer.

So there it is my friends, five TV moms that could be me.  (And if you're not watching "The Middle" you should be.  ABC Wednesdays, 8/7)

Finally....HAVE YOU VOTED?  Look, over there, on the right...that Elsie Book needs a name!

Laundry list Friday: Five things I SHOULD have said.

Hello all!

Where did this week go?  Wow!  How can it be the weekend already?

So Skippy turned 18 this week...I guess that's where it went.  I was busy hiding from the fact that one of my children is now old enough to vote.

Which brings to me today's topic:  Politics.  I have some very strong opinions on the matter, but I have found that the people who ask me about my political beliefs really don't want to hear them so much as want to be sure I agree with their own.  And when I don't...and I almost never do...I'm the one belittled and called names.  So, I long ago adopted a policy of non communication when it came to politics.

So imagine my surprise, shock, annoyance, when, whilst enjoying a perfectly lovely lunch at Burger King one day this week, I was approached by a middle aged white guy and asked about my political leanings.

Probably not what they want to be a selling point, but I love BK because the place is
always empty!

I should back up a bit.  When I have the rare luxury of having a car at my disposal during the work day, I like to take my lunch at a nearby Burger King.  I like this place for a couple reasons:  1)  It's almost always deserted.  2)  I loathe their fries, and therefore the caloric count on my lunch is lower.  3)  The manager of the place is completely cool and usually has the big screen TV tuned to some oldies TV channel.  On the day in question, however, there were a few people, and the TV was tuned to a news channel, where President Obama was making a speech about something or another.  I don't listen to any political speeches because they are 45% lies, 45% white noise, and 10% balderdash.

I told you few people like my political views.

Anyway, I was sitting in a booth, eating lunch and READING A BOOK.  I was actively READING A BOOK.

What about that pose would have invited the following conversation:

"Hey, what do you think about the President's speech?"

I looked up, shocked that anyone was just walking up to me and starting in on a conversation.  But, being raised Lutheran, I was taught to respect my elders and since I always think of myself as being the youngest person in the room, I acknowledged him.  "It's okay."

And then this came:  "I used to live in Illinois.  Now I live in Madison.  I didn't used to know anything about politics.  Now I know the difference between a liberal and republican and conservative."

What I said was, "I suppose, living in Madison, you do hear a lot about politics."  And I returned to my book.

Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to drive him away.  he stood there, watching the TV, standing right next to me like we were doing this together.  I could not have shown less interest.  He attempted to continue a conversation, but frankly, I get 57 minutes for lunch, and I wasn't about to waste them on some guy who trolls the Burger King looking for women he can stun with his vast knowledge of politics.

As I was going through the rest of my day, I realized that there were responses I should have said that would have driven him away from my table...and possibly spared the next woman he might consider annoying.  And therefore, I give you these five responses to his statement listed above.

5)  You do not, however, seem to know the difference between someone who wants to chat and someone who wants to be left ALONE.

4)  Well, gold star for you Buddy.  Was there anything else you needed?  Because I already have a special adult I have to monitor at work...I don't need to add anyone else to that list.

3)  Hey, I used to live in Michigan, and I didn't know anything about annoying losers.  Now I live here and I know the difference between an annoying loser and a guy I want to talk to. 

2)  Oh good!  Because I was just saying the other day how I didn't know the difference and I was so hoping that a pasty middle aged white guy would interrupt my lunch one day and tell me.

1)  What, exactly, is it about me that invited you to walk up and start talking to me?  Was it the book I'm reading?  Was it the food I'm eating?  The fact that I'm doing both at the same time while looking at my watch, which would indicate that I have very little time to be here, to do these two things? Maybe you find me attractive?  Perhaps the short haircut, the extra weight, and the man's wedding band on my finger confused you.  No, I don't want to be your very first lesbian friend, mostly because I am not interested in making friends with men who think discussing politics of any kind with a strange woman in a Burger King is a good way to meet people, but also because, well, I'm not a lesbian.  So sorry, you don't get to up your cool factor by impressing me in any way.  Which, by the way would be impossible if your opening line is that you know the difference between a liberal and a conservative.  Good job Pinky and the Brain...my kids have known the difference between those two groups since they were about 8 years old.  Of course, they also know that you don't bother someone who is reading a book and eating, alone, in a public place.  Of course, I taught them that.  I'm there mother, you see.  Did your mother not teach you that?  Did you not have a mother?  Were you raised by wolves, and that's why you're so completely socially inappropriate?  No?  You had a mother?  So then, what, exactly, is your excuse?

So my friends, there you have it.  Five things I should have said, but didn't.  My advice is that we all make lists of clever responses for various situations that arise in our social lives.  We never have them ready when we need them, but we think of them later.  So learn from me...be prepared!  Make a list that you can shut down annoying, stupid, or bothersome questioners with a quick slash of wit.

To be fair, the guy sort of looked like this:

Had he looked like...say this:  

 

I would have put my book down.  And discussed anything.  Is that wrong?  Is that a double standard?  Okay, it is a double standard.  I don't care. I'm being honest. 

Okay friends, remember one other thing:  VOTE ON YOUR FAVORITE TITLE!  Right there top right hand corner of the blog!  Just click on your favorite title for my next book!

Quick reminder! (And a bit of a tease)

Good morning!

Just a quick reminder to my friends and readers:  This FRIDAY I will be putting up my favorite title suggestions for a vote.  I have several great suggestions, but I want to get as many as I can! 

Remember:  The winner of the best title gets a complete set of my published books!  (And if you already have those...then I'll send you some McDonald's coupons or something!  LOL)