At Least the Creative Spark isn't Dead.

Good day.

So for a little more than a week I've been battling my usual summer cough that turns into a sore throat.  Every year I get this and every year I lose a little more of my singing voice, but other than that I'm good to go after a week.

Not so this year.

This year the cough and sore throat reached a level I've never experienced before.  I've dropped down several steps on the sexy scale (not like it was a long fall, you know) to the point where I allowed Hubby to drive me to the doctor's office yesterday and I wasn't wearing eyeliner. And I didn't care.

You stop caring about stuff like eyeliner,  combed hair, body odor, and other stuff the minute you cough up blood.

It should be noted, however, I did manage to get earrings in. I mean, I am a lady after all.

After going through the humiliation of having to sit in the waiting room wearing a mask  (It should be noted I was coughing not one bit harder than the nurse at the desk who demanded I wear a mask. Where was her mask?) and explaining that yes, my weight is on an upward trend lately (why does that have anything to do with the fact that I have no voice and I'm coughing up blood?) the doctor told me what started as a virus got worse.

(I found out later, after reading my appointment notes, that I have bronchitis.  Doc didn't mention that...and people wonder why I think going to the doctor is insulting.)

Anyway, that little bit about the virus getting worse sparked a creative thing in my brain that hasn't been around in a couple decades.  It made me rewrite a pop song.

I used to do this a lot, I'm a huge fan of Weird Al Yankovic but I'd forgotten about it.  My best was probably was "Let's Play Basketball" to the tune of Olivia Newton John's "Physical," followed closely by "I wanna be a Teacher" done to the tune of "I wanna be A Cowboy" by Boys don't Cry.  But it's been a long time since I've done that.

Until today.

Today...yes, to the tune of REO Speedwagon's "I can't Fight this Feeling"  I give you this:

(Sung to "I Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon)
I can't fight this sore throat anymore. 
The cough and gagging really have to go. 
What started as a virus has grown stronger. 
So it's off to urgent care I have to go. 
It feels like I've been this sick forever.
The Doc says there's no reason for my fear.
He prescribes some pills when we're together.
They'll knock out the infection, they'll make my lungs so clear.
But even as I take them, I know I have to fight.
The side effects are icky and they keep me up all night.
And I'm feeling grosser than I ever thought I might.....


So there you have it my friends. I'm missing my company's annual gathering today and tomorrow, thanks to this little illness of mine.  But at least my creative spark hasn't died!

See, Sir, you're at Sam's Club, so...no.

Once again, standing in line at the pharmacy does not disappoint.

This week was med refill week, and of COURSE given all the prescriptions we have here, at least one of them will always get delayed (unbeknownst to us) and thus I'm required to do two trips. Fortunately, I'm also bad at grocery shopping, so making two trips to Sam's Club in two days isn't the as big a problem as one might think. Gives me push to actually leave the house and get the bag of coffee I forgot to pick up the first time around.  (How could Sarah forget COFFEE?????  Well, it happens.)

Anyway, yesterday I showed up at the pharmacy at 2 PM sharp. This is key because the pharmacy at Sam's is closed from 1:30 to 2 every day.  So if I can't get there to pick up before 1:30 it's important to get there at 2 before the line gets too long.

Yesterday I should have gotten there at 1:55.  Seriously. I got there as they were opening the service window and there was already a fairly long line. 

Sigh.

However, as I said, standing in line wound up not being a waste of time because I was able to witness and record the following:

A gentleman edged between the pharmacy line and the shelves of heartburn products.  He spent some quality time picking up the two pack bottles of TUMS, looking at it, then putting it back on the shelf.  He must have done this three or four times before I moved up in line enough to stand next to him.

I guess I just have one of those faces, because it was then that he decided to start asking random people (in this case, me) questions.

Man:  so...do you think this is all they have for TUMS?

Me: I think so. I mean, if they had other brands, they would probably put them next to the TUMS.

Man:  Oh, I don't need a different brand. I need a smaller bottle.

Me: (no response.  It's Sam's Club.  You're going to buy in bulk. That's the point.)

Man: This one is a two pack and there are 250 tablets in each.

Me:  Yes.  (I, too, can read.)

Man:  Well, that's way too many.  I don't need that many.

Me: (because I've bought that same two pack and run through it in a matter of months) Well, it's a really good price for that many.  (Because it is. That same number of tablets at Target would be double the price.)

Man:  It is, but I just don't need 500 tablets.  I wonder if they have a smaller bottle.

Me: I don't think so.  Besides, it's a good price, plus, with that many, you're set for a year.  (See?  I'm polite, logical, and helpful.)

Man: But I don't need that many. (stepping in front of me)  I'm just going to ask this lady if they have smaller bottles.

Me: 

Well, I can't really repeat what I said because 1) I didn't say it out loud and 2) I can't print that many four letter Anglo-Saxon isms.   (Kids read this blog.)  I mean, did he not see that this was a LINE?  There were six or seven people in LINE for the PHARMACY and he just hopped ahead OF ME to ask the lady if there were smaller bottles of TUMS somewhere.

Oh sure. Sam's Club hides the tiny bottles of EVERYTHING in a big room far away from customers just so they have to find an employee and ask.

DUDE!

First of all, does he not get the rules of standing in line?  I don't care if you have "a quick question" there's a LINE.  If you don't want to stand in the line and wait your turn, then maybe find someone, anyone, in a blue vest that says "happy to help" and ask them.  OR...hey...ask that Soma Care guy who insists on jumping unsuspecting people racing to pick up meds.

Second of all...DO YOU NOT GET THIS IS SAM'S CLUB?  It's all about buying in bulk.  Look around.  Everything is a two pack, four pack, club pack, super sized!  If you want a little bottle of anything, go to Kwik Trip or Target or Walmart or LITERALLY ANY OTHER STORE IN THE WORLD.

But no, of course I didn't say anything, and I didn't point out his breach of etiquette. I didn't make a sound as he stepped in front of me and asked the pharmacy lady (who watched my face the whole time because she knows me and knew I was dying a thousand deaths in that moment) and asked her possibly the dumbest question anyone has ever asked anyone in a Sam's Club.

And she gave him her answer which was, of course, NO.  It took great restraint on her part, I'm sure, to keep a straight face and yes, as he walked away, she and I shared a giggle and then a sigh of exasperation.

The good news is we're set for meds again for the next month. Which is good.  Because my tongue needs to heal from all the biting I did.