Monday, October 1, 2012

The Chronicles of Skippy. part 2

One of my favorite shows right now is "The Amazing Race."  For those of you who don't know, this is a show were several teams of two race around the world for a million dollars.  Along the way they are required to perform tasks, tour landmarks, and be nice (and foolish) around local populations.  The show is educational, it's dramatic, and it makes me realize that if I'm going to travel around the world, doing it under time deadlines probably isn't the best way to do it.

Skippy should really watch that show. 

If he did, he'd know that most landmarks have closing times.  I realize this might seem like a "duh"  thing to say, but apparently he left our house thinking that any stop he made along the way in terms of landmarks would be open no matter what time he reached it.

So when he left Lake City, CO several days ago, his goal was to stop at Four Corners Utah, a neat spot where four states meet at a perfect corner.  Given his inexperience in mountain driving, and the fact that he puts complete trust in Susan, his GPS, it took him far longer than he imagined it would.  Put another way, he didn't leave early enough to reach Four Corners before it closed  (prior to ten PM)

Had he watched "Amazing Race" with me, he'd know he could just sleep outside the gates and they'd let him in at dawn with the other racers...oh, wait, maybe not.

He was disappointed.  What he should have been was thirsty.  Had he been thirsty, he might have reached into the cooler his father and girlfriend packed so lovingly with the supplies I bought.  And he might have avoided something unpleasant.

But he wasn't so he didn't.  Instead, he drove on to my cousin Jane's home in Scottsdale Arizona.  There he spent a couple days in the 90 degree weather hanging out with Cool Cousin Tanya  (that's what we call her here)  and just enjoying  not being in the car.

Next stop, Los Angeles.  I think of this as the scary leg of the trip, this drive up the entire west coast.  Why?  Because now he's staying with people I've never met and don't know.  And, I'm afraid he's going to wind up sending me texts like this one:  "Jaci's mom is in the hospital and I can't stay with her.  Can I use your credit card to get a hotel room?"


What's a mother to do?  Of course he got to use the card.  That's why we sent it with him.  In case of emergency...or friends we 've never met not actually being able to let him stay with them.

Again, though, instead of being concerned about his sleeping accommodations, the boy should have been thirsty. Had he been thirsty, he would have reached into his cooler and possibly avoided something unpleasant.
I like my milk with a few miles on it.

You know, like a couple small plastic bottles of milk exploding somewhere in the mountains, curdling in the Arizona heat, and then crusting over pretty much everything in the cooler.  I can only imagine, when he did finally open that cooler, expecting to find apples, cheese, maybe a juice box, instead he found some soured infection sort of stank covering what could have been a nice little meal in his hotel room.

We're waiting for the Boy
from Wisconsin to bring
us fries.
I will hand it to him.  He didn't try and blame me, too much.  I did buy the milk, so I didn't get off completely free.  But after grumbling about it a bit, and dumping everything in the dumpster for the feral cats  (you didn't know that some of the LA 'burbs are silly with feral cats, did you?  Well my son likes to feet them at In and Out Burger.)  he got into the shower...and started grumbling again.  Apparently his shower head was broken...as was his room window.

Well, says I, the wise mother two time zones away, I guess you're going to have to tell the front desk you want another room.

First I need food, says he.

A few hours later, not late by West Coast time, but well past my bed time here in the Midwest, he announces that he's been moved, but that his new room is half the size of his old one.

Wonder if they charged my card half the amount.

He moved on to Sacramento, were he's staying with a friend named Amy...I think.  He sends pictures to his father, and apparently he's met a singer Peaches likes a lot.  All I know is she spent a big part of Saturday morning squealing, looking at her phone, muttering something about being jealous of Skippy, and squealing again.  I think she's hoping Skippy will bring said singer home with him.

Why not?  There's room in the cooler now.

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