As many of you know I was in a car accident this past July. Since then, my life has been a whirlwind of doctor's appointments, physical therapy, chiropractor's appointments, and rest. Well, finally, last week, the physical therapist cleared me to go back to the gym...to swim.
See, the injury to my neck was sort of mysterious for a while, and now that they've figured out I won't die if I exercise (which blows my theory about exercise) they feel it will be okay if I swim a little.
So, eager to be back at Gold's gym, I packed my bag and headed to the pool after work.
Here's the thing: It's November. It's Wisconsin. It's COLD right now. So I was cold when I get to the gym. I was cold when I checked in, cold when I went to the locker room, cold when I changed into my new swim suit which looks fantastic on me (well, it looks as good as a swim suit can on my body) except it has a snap at the waist band that keeps popping open. It's not like it's a load bearing snap, it's just there and it pops open all the time. Annoying. Anyway, I was cold getting to the pool and really cold looking at the water.
I stood there, telling myself that once I got into the pool I would be okay. I would swim a few laps and feel really good about myself. So I stepped down on the first step into the pool.
I'm not saying the water was cold. Maybe my foot was already in the first stages of frostbite. Who can say? All I know is, sticking one foot in the water was quite enough for one day. I decided we were going to take this return to Gold's slowly...baby steps...like today a foot in the pool, and maybe next month I'll go in up to my ankles.
Perfectly satisfied with my progress for the day, I hit the hot tub.
My time in the hot tub, because I have a weird form of eczema, had to be short as well, but being warm for the first time all day was sort of intoxicating, so I sat in the water a bit. Two young women (I'm guessing they were young, women over the age of 30 and the dress size of 12 shouldn't wear string bikinis, but I didn't have my glasses on.) entered the pool area. There was no one else in the entire space, no one in the hot tub, no one else in the pool. Not wearing my glasses, I had a hard time really making out features and was shocked at first to think that one of the women was bottomless. Then I realized that her string bikini bottom was the exact same pale pink as her skin.
The two women got into the pool and stood there. Just stood there, talking. Now, I've had a lot of conversations with friends, and many of them in the pool. But I can't think of one time I had a conversation with someone in a pool while I was standing completely still, unless watching children was involved. So here these two women are, in the tiniest of bikinis, each of them, standing in the pool at Gold's, doing nothing. (Which, by the way, is completely different from me...I stuck a toe in and moved along. That's doing nothing, but doing it out of the way of everyone else.)
I don't know if these women got annoyed that I was just sitting there, minding my own business, but I started to feel like they were not pleased that I was encroaching on their chat time. (Gee, sorry. Ya know, Starbucks is just across the parking lot, and THEY encourage people to do nothing and chat.) After a few minutes of trying to just enjoy the hot tub while unable to ignore the fact that both of them were staring in my direction the entire time, (and seriously...it's a big space, you gotta look at me the whole time?) I finally gave up and got out of the hot tub.
Now, pay attention here, because this is where Sarah starts to believe in Karma a tiny little bit. See, I was feeling all superior to these women because, hey, I came, I did something, and I was going. They were just standing there, doing nothing. So I had a rare moment of feeling superior to someone in a bikini. That doesn't happen often.
And it didn't last long. Did I mention I was NOT wearing my glasses? Oh, and if you have ever been to a gym pool, you know the doors to the men's and the women's locker rooms look waaaaaaaaaaay too much alike.
Do I really need to tell you more?
Okay, so there I was, feeling superior to the two do nothings who were STILL STARING AT ME. And, as I made the turn for the locker room, they burst into laughter.
You guessed it. I'd headed through the door to the men's locker room.
Yes, baby steps back to the gym. Like maybe next time I get the courage to go in there, I DON'T go to the men's locker room. That would be a magnificent next step.
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