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Friday, June 26, 2015

Well nothing good is going to come of THIS!

Good day all!

I've been banking at the same bank for more than twenty years.  There are several branches of said bank, but I like the down town one for a couple reasons.  First, it's always been closest to my house. Second, the drive through has the longest hours in town.  I like my bank mostly because I don't have to think about it.  My bank gives me no trouble.

That said, thanks to a new technology in my bank, I may have to move.

See, the drive thru at my bank has always been sort of odd. The building is right downtown, so space is limited and I believe it was built before drive thru was a thing.  So the drive thru lanes face the actual building and, up until very recently, the windows where the tellers stood.  I liked that set up because with the sun glare most of the day, you couldn't see the tellers and you knew they couldn't see you without risking their retinas.  If I was frustrated about something or if I'd been waiting too long in line because the guy behind me decided to do something complicated like finance a house through the drive thru (guys, the drive thru is for  fast deposits only.  Don't have a multi step transaction and drive up to the window.  Don't ask questions.  Just drive up, cash your check or make a deposit and drive away. And for the love of all that's holy, have your deposit slip filled out!) the tellers were none the wiser because they couldn't see me.

Now, however, they've moved the windows to the side of the building. I guess that's okay. I mean, given the amount of sun glare they had to face, I'm sure more than one teller actually went blind at work and that's a workman's comp claim that's hard to end.  (I should know...it's my new industry of employment.)  But they didn't just move the windows. No, they installed something...new. They installed something so horrible I am considering switching banks.

There's now a two way camera in the drive thru lane.  You put your deposit in the tube and send the tube into the bank. While you're doing that, you can see yourself in the camera.  (And, I'm assuming, the teller can see you.)  I do not like this.   I do not like seeing myself in my car.  I'm not thin looking in a seated position.  Not that I'm thin looking in any position, but in my car it's worse.  Also, when the teller talks to you, you see her face. This is creepy to me.  I don't want to see the teller's face ten inches from mine. If I did, I'd walk into the bank.


If I looked like this all the time, it wouldn't be
a problem. But we all know that's not the case.
Also, and this is the big key, I don't want the tellers seeing me when I'm in rant mode, which I typically am in the bank drive thru.  I don't know how much they can hear, but I don't want them hearing me finishing my rant against the guy in front of me.  Worse, I don't want them hearing me SINGING in case a good song comes on.  No, I don't like this at all.  Has no one heard, "Video killed the radio star?"  When I'm in my car I'm a rock star. If other people are seeing me, and I know they're seeing me, then I'm going to feel self conscious. Rock stars don't feel self conscious. This is going to ruin my secret in the car rock star career.

But let's take this new technology one step further.  I mean, it's a bank. How much trouble can anyone really get into at a bank?  

But what about if we put these cameras in all drive thru lanes?

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE THE GUY TAKING YOUR ORDER?


Nothing good can come of that. If you have a picture of the person taking your order, then you're going to know whom to scream at when your order is wrong. And, unless you're at Culvers,your order is going to be wrong.  And also, sometimes if see who's packing your food, you might not want it. I'm just sayin', well, take a look at this pic:  
Ummmmm, no, hold the fries.

If you saw that face on a screen before you ordered...seriously...no judgements we all go with our own look, but if you had time to think about it, would you place that order?


DO YOU WANT THE WORKERS TO SEE YOU BEFORE YOU GET YOUR FOOD?

Come on, do you want the staff of your local favorite eatery to have that four seconds while you drive around to the window to MOCK YOU?  Because if they see you while you're ordering, they're going to know what we all know:  That diet coke isn't fooling anyone, they are all going to know you don't have anyone in the car with you, no matter how much crowd noise you try and generate, and they're going to know that not only is the diet coke for you, the three double cheeseburgers, the extra large order of onion rings,and the extra thick chocolate shake is also for you.

Sure, with out the cameras there's mocking on both sides already. But with the cameras it's right there...in your face...you can't hide.  

No, no, nothing good can come from this. This additional video screen footage of all of us in a drive thru is going to end badly. Its' going to be a lot of ugly spread out.

Why can't we all just be ugly and noisy and grumpy in the privacy of our own cars?  WHY?

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