Fluffy Girl Burned Her WHAT?

I was feeling really lousy, flu- like last night, so I did not eat much for dinner.  (And I cooked a killer meal, too.  Slow cooked bbq pork roast, mashed taters, beans.  All good stuff.)  So by 11 Pm I was sort of hungry and feeling a little better in the tummy.  Peaches had made a batch of popcorn which smelled really good, but there were no leftovers.  So I decided to make a small batch on my own.

We have one of those stir crazy poppers.  (Well, we currently have an Orville Reddenbacher popper, such as you see to your right.  I got it at Kohls...not that I blame then for what happened.) You put the oil in, put the popcorn in, the arm stirs it while it pops, then you flip the whole thing over and the top acts as a bowl.  We've been using stir crazy poppers for a long time.  It's not like this was a new piece of equipment for me. In fact, next to the microwave, I'd say the popcorn popper is the kitchen machine I use most.

Last night I put the oil in, and put in about half the normal amount of kernels I use.  It popped and when it stopped making noise, I unplugged it (safety first) grasped the handles and flipped it over.

What I did not do is account for the fact that fewer kernels meant less oil was needed and that since I'd popped a much smaller batch, there was actually oil, hot oil, standing in the bottom of the popper, which then, while I was flipping the thing upside down, shot out at me from the gap between the top and the bottom.

I was wearing my jammies, like most people my age do at 11 PM.  And my t-shirt was no match for the super heated oil drops that fired at me.  I'd say about a tablespoon hit me square in the middle of my shirt, seeping through to the belly skin beneath it.

Which means, yes, my friends, I managed to burn the OUTSIDE of my gut on popcorn oil.

This was not my first burn. Please, I was in 4-H cooking. I burned myself all the time.  But hands, fingers, wrists ( a work related burn thanks to my waitressing days at Big Boy)  and one very weird time, my armpit (also Big Boy) but NEVER my belly.  

And guess what?  It's actually two big burns. My stomach sort of looks like I have some kind of tribal art on it.  So sexy.

And the nausea came back and didn't leave.  SCORE!

So the moral of the story kids, because I want you to learn from my blunders, is that if you're going to have flu-like symptoms and you want to make popcorn...don't.  Just have a piece of bread with a little butter on it and go to bed and pray the queasiness goes away...you know, like a normal person.

Say it with me, what's the name of the blog?

IT CAN ONLY HAPPEN TO SARAH!