This girl is funny...not skinny.

This girl is funny...not skinny.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

We now know what Hubby does NOT have in his pants.



Good morning!

So last weekend Hubby and I joined my parents, brother, and my brother's kids on a trek to Kentucky to see the Creation Museum and the Ark Encounter.  This was a 50th Wedding anniversary thing for my parents who wanted to treat the whole family to this trip.  Peaches and Skippy were not able to make this one, and we missed them, but I digress.

The trip started a bit shaky. My parents, since they were paying for the whole thing, got to pretty much command what we did, when we did it and how we did it.  My mom took full advantage of that.   Our original plan was to travel in two cars, but nope, Mom wanted as much together time as possible. Thusly, we traveled in a ten passenger van.  I'm not saying traveling together in one vehicle
for three solid days was a bad idea. I'm saying that by the time we got home on Sunday the whole inside of the van smelled of White Castle and feet.

Anyway, as I said, things were a bit shaky at the start. We left my parents' house at 5:37 AM on Friday, which was actually 7 minutes late. My niece, who is 13, immediately plugged in to her phone to listen to music. My mother would have none of that. She told both kids, (My nephew is 11) that they were NOT to plug in so soon in the trip.  Her reasoning?

Well, it wasn't for the purpose of family togetherness, at least that's not what she said.

No, her whole deal with plugging in was this:  "Don't plug in to your music already...you wouldn't be awake at this time of day normally."

I wasn't even sure what to do with that logic, but what I did know was that I wasn't going to be listening to any of the music I'd put on my iPod for this trip, nor would I be reading the books I brought along.  That was not on the agenda.

I will say this:  Once we got through Chicago and to our first food stop (Bob Evans, someplace in Indiana) we'd settled into a pretty good van vibe.

Eating at restaurants is always a bit dicey for Hubby. Some places cook their food in an oil that does NOT agree with him.  Now, when he and I are traveling alone, it's no big deal.  If he has a "Sizzler moment" (Named after a night some 20 years ago when we ate at a Sizzler and all of his internal organs worked in concert to blow the offending food out of his body some five minutes after we left the restaurant.) then we stop and he does what he has to do.  In a ten person van, on a tight schedule, that was not going to be a possibility.  But he chose wisely...at least from a digestive point of view, for this first meal.

We got to the Creation Museum in the late afternoon and spent a few hours walking through the amazing displays and doing a lot of reading.  I could have done without walking through vomit in the Garden of Eden  (One of the older female guests couldn't take the crowds I guess and had a Sizzler moment of her own...in three spots...in the Garden.) both otherwise it was really lovely.  (For those of you who are claustrophobic like me...avoid the Kids Canyon.  I went through this dark, closed quarters hall, and came out shaky and feeling like blowing my own Garden of Eden.)

Brother decided that since we were in the South we should find a real Southern place to eat.  My parents and his kids are not exactly adventurous eaters, so I thought this was an odd request, but we pulled into a strip mall a few minutes from the museum and we walked through the doors of "Smokin'
This and That BBQ" in Florence, KY. This place was GREAT!  We walked in like goobers, and the owner sensed we were "not from around here."  Everyone was very kind and a lot of fun and the food...oh the food!  Pulled pork, brisket, and chicken wings, all lovingly smoked out in the parking lot of the strip mall.  Plus  LIVE MUSIC!  They have a group of guys who come in and play on Friday nights. The owner said they don't pay the group, which numbers anywhere from 4 to 9 members, but they do play for tips.  (For those of you who read my Rock Harbor Chronicles, you know this sounds familiar!)  It was bluegrass and folk music and we had a blast! I ate a "That Salad" which was cole slaw, pulled pork, avocado mayo and smoked eggs.  Sounds weird, tasted AWESOME!  (Plus I got to say I ate a salad!)

The next day we headed to the Ark Encounter, which was AMAZING.  I've been teaching the story of the flood for years, but seeing it in living color really made me think. Plus, the builders of this attraction put some actual thought into a number of questions I had about the Flood and the Ark. It was a super time for everyone. Fun movies, great displays  and most importantly, AIR CONDITIONING.  (That Noah, he knew how to travel!)

We finished pretty early in the day and we all decided to rest at the hotel and let the kids play in the pool.  A couple hours later, Brother woke me from a dead sleep  (at 4 in the afternoon) and informed me we were going to a RODEO.

I've never been to a rodeo, but I've watched them on TV.  Believe me, the live experience is way more fun!  They have this thing called mutton busting, where they put little kids (no one over 50 pounds) on the backs of sheep to see how long the kids can stay astride.  I about pulled a muscle I was laughing so hard. Then my nephew got involved in the calf scramble where they tie ribbons to the tales of 3 calves and then have about 100 kids chase them.

Oh, and there were bull riders and bronc busters and all that. But mostly mutton busting and calf scramble.

And then Waffle House at midnight.  Because we know how to live.

I'll bet you're all wondering what, exactly, this has to do with what may or may not be in Hubby's pants.  I'm getting to it!

Sunday my parents wanted to hit the Creation Museum one more time, mostly because Mom wanted to ride a camel  (Which she convinced me to do as well) but we also wanted to check out the gift shop.  I found my magnets (Because I am, as my niece put it, one of those magnet people.) and everyone else bought something...except Hubby.  As I was leaving the gift shop to sit down (Because I was exhausted) Hubby held up an adorable stuffed baby coatimundi. I oohed and aahed over the cuteness and then went to sit down because frankly, the weekend had caught up to me and I was done being on my feet.

Hubby joined me a few moments later. We talked about stuff we'd seen, about where our fellow travelers were, and about where the closest White Castle was.  (The nephew wanted White Castle for lunch.)   I then asked him if he'd purchased the oh-so-cute coatimundi toy.

"No," says he.  "I'm not carrying a bag am I?"

"No," I reply.  "But I don't know what you have in your pants."

Now, what I meant by all that was, he was wearing cargo shorts with big pockets.  So what I should have said was, "I don't know what you have in your pockets."

But I didn't. Which is why the conversation led to this.

"Well now you know I don't have a coatimundi in my pants."  Says my husband.  "And you're welcome because now you have a blog post."

So true, so true.

We left the museum and dragged ourselves across four states and got home late Sunday night.  Since the van had to be back to the rental place that night, we cleaned it out right away.  The kids were tasked with taking home the leftover White Castle burgers.  (We over bought by like 40 burgers.  Which is why we all smelled like tiny meat patties and brown onions.)

The burgers were removed, but the smell remained. I hope my parents didn't have to pay a fine for the stank of the thing when they returned the vehicle.

But none of that matters.  I'm just happy Hubby doesn't have a coatimundi in his pants...the last thing we need is more stuffed toys...and live animals.

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