This girl is funny...not skinny.

This girl is funny...not skinny.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Life's multiple choice question where all of the answers make me look dumb.

Good evening!

Not often do I blog twice in a day. Sure, by rights this morning's post was simply a re post of something that happened six years ago, but still...this is my second check in with everyone.  

Which means something monumentally stupid happened to me today.

Here's how it happened:

I was on my way to X-perience fitness, where I'm told I have a membership. (I'm told that by way of the fee they jam on my already full credit card every month.)

It was hot today, and humid, and I thought a dip in the pool with my old friends...you know...the old people who go to the gym pool at 1:30 in the afternoon on a weekday...would be just the thing to help jump start (again) my fitness program. 

I got in the Cube, which I've been sharing with Peaches the last two weeks because her far finally gave up the ghost at 325000 miles and the car she bought needs a little work so hubby is, at this very moment, lying on the driveway in the hot and humid air...oh and we're under a severe thunderstorm warning until midnight...and he's putting on new belts or flux capacitors or something.  ANYWAY I got in the Cube, my gym bag full of swim gear and make up and all the things a person going to the gym in the middle of the day might need.

Obviously I don't have a ton of experience in that...was bringing four sets of clothing and a gallon of night cream over packing?

ANYWAY...right, I was in the Cube on my way to X-perience. Now, this is not the first time I've driven the route. It's not even the fiftieth time.  I know how to get to the gym.

Or so I thought.

I could blame it in my iPod, which I had on "Shuffle" and which chose the song "Don't Tell Me You
Love Me" by Night Ranger to play while I drove to the gym.  (I challenge all of you to find a better song than that one to drive to. Seriously...it's a pedal to the metal, no holds barred, roll down the windows and sing like you're a rock star song and I can ONLY listen to it in the car because my neighbors can't handle my awesomeness when I hear that song.)  I'm halfway through the song and halfway to the gym when I look around and think, "Hm I think I turned too soon."

That happens sometimes.  The route to my gym is bordered by a local university and there are two intersections covered in white stone buildings and sweat pants wearing college kids between my house and the gym.  Sometimes I undershoot my right hand turn and have to make an extra left to get back on track. No biggie,

Except today I'm driving along, looking for my usual left hand correction (and still singing "Don't Tell me You Love Me" and I can't find the street.  No worries, pretty much all of these side streets open into the street I'm actually looking for, so I just took a random left and started driving...while still singing. In fact...I restarted the song. 

Some six blocks later I realize I haven't found my proper cross street and now there's a good chance I've driven way too far in the wrong direction and missed my corrective right hand turn.  So I make a random right and figure I'll click in to another main road which will get me to the gym.

I made a wrong choice.  Again. This time I clearly crossed over the street I was supposed to turn left
on and now I was heading back to the original scene of the wrong turn.  Except...

In actuality, I hadn't made a wrong turn at all in the beginning...I was simply rocking out too hard to recognize the houses and I thought I was on the wrong street.


In short the trip that normally takes me eight minutes took me eighteen and by the time I got to X-perience I was ALMOST TOO TIRED to bother going into the pool.  However, I'm currently losing a weight loss challenge to Skippy this summer and owing him money is reason enough to haul my rear end out of the car and into the gym.

But here's the thing:  I realized that I had a seriously multiple choice question regarding my lapse in driving memory.

Was I 

1)  Getting senile?
2)  Becoming cripplingly direction handicapped in my own home town?
3)  Just really that stupid?
4)  All of the above?

See?  None of those choices make me look smart!  There isn't a single choice I can make from those answers that doesn't make me wonder if I am maybe losing my cool, awesome, edge.

(That sound you hear is the sound of my family howling with laughter at that last statement.)

Well guess what?  This is my blog so I'm going to add one other choice to those answers! How about this:

5) I was rocking out too hard to be bothered with things like directions because I'm super cool and I'm an awesome automobile singer.
HAH!


And just in case you aren't familiar, here's the video to the song that started it all:

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