Good morning, everyone!
So, you know when you give birth to a baby girl and you look at her, and think of lacy curtains and pink frilly dresses and playing tea party with the Barbie dolls?
Let's say, Peaches has always been a bit different from that. Especially when it comes to movies. She and I DO NOT have the same taste at all...I like sprawling historical flics, and she enjoys...horror.
So, last fall Peaches and I decided it was time for a movie challenge: Each of us would pick a movie that we liked but the other historically, famously, hated.
My pick was that perennial holiday favorite: Love, Actually.
I love this movie, but for several years, Peaches has shouted loudly how she hated the movie and also it wasn't a Christmas movie. Thus, we watched it. Her opinion now? "It's pretty good, and it's definitely a Christmas movie."
Now, Peaches has a little different taste in films than I do. She's a big horror fan. If you've read more than a couple posts on this blog, you know that I, famously, cannot be in my basement alone at night since that day, more than 40 years ago, when I watched "Night of the Living Dead."
I didn't even like looking at still pictures of the movie, like when it hit Netflix and I accidentally saw the image there.
Anyway, so we watched it, and Hannah kind of mocked the film (Apparently it's just not that scary anymore) and in doing so, killed the horror for me. I can now go fetch laundry and beverages from the basement after dark without panic running up the stairs. Which is good since running up stairs is not exactly something I'm able to do.)
In that spirit, then, Peaches, (Who also understands I'm a bit blue since Skippy, my TV watching buddy, moved out a couple weeks ago) brought over a couple flicks to enjoy last week. The challenge was now to bring movies that maybe weren't all that good, but she loves them, so she's sharing. We actually started doing this without realizing it a few months ago...but now it's a thing and I have a recap of the last several movies Peaches has had me watch.
Which is why we're here in the blog.
So, buckle up. Here we go:
5) SAW 2-9
To be fair, we did not watch all of these this week. I've seen this series with Peaches a few years ago. Still...
I watched the first installment with a friend when it was in theaters. I thought it was brilliant. Not exactly my cup of tea, but Cary Elwes was in it, and it was an original idea for movies. And that was great. What is not great are the other 8 (and counting?) in the series. Oh sure, it's fun to talk about what your own "saw" death would be (mine is I would wake up sewn to my couch with a 10,000 pound TV hanging over me. If I don't leap off the couch, tearing my skin to pieces, the TV will crush me. Clearly, I've given this some thought. Also, thanks to Peaches, I've seen every weird, twisted, pig head wearing minute of the series.) This just in, Peaches brought "Saw X" for our movie watching enjoyment this week. What can I say? I'll do anything for my kids!
4) Evil Dead: Rise
"Family disfunction" is such an understatement for this movie. Two estranged sisters, both of whom have their own problems, try to save their idiot kids from the Book of the Dead that one of the previously mentioned idiot kids decided to open. This is the fifth film in the Evil Dead universe, and the first one I've seen. Production value is high, and I have no complaints about the gore...although it is more than I typically look for in a film. My problem with this one is that the people, every single one of them, are so infinitely stupid, none of them deserve to survive. Seriously.
3) Night of the Living Dead
See above. Most terrifying thing ever, until I watched it with Peaches. If you're not familiar with this foundation film for all zombie flicks, well, find the George Romero version from 1968. (They remade it in 1990, but why?) Make your own decision about this. All I know is that I never need to see it again.
2) Saltburn
Lordy, this one. Not horror, they tell me. But this weird little tale of a blue collar English guy lying about his background to get in good with a wealthy family, while a trope I typically enjoy, is...as I said...weird. Like super weird. Anything involving getting turned on by someone's dirty bathwater is a red flag for me, sorry, I'm kind of a prude that way. Dirty bath water...no sexy. So...yeah.
Now, before we do number one, here's an honorable mention we have yet to watch together:
The Grand Budapest Hotel.
I cannot stress how much I hate Wes Anderson's work. And don't come to me with "Moonrise Kingdom." Every time I say I hate Wes Anderson, people throw that one up to me. Sure, Moonrise Kingdom isn't horrible. But if you give a monkey long enough he'll type out a novel that might be worth reading. It's the so many other piles of crap that happen before and after that aren't worth it. I'm also well aware that many of my friends, my daughter, and most of the world loves Wes Anderson's movies. I do not. And while I've seen "Grand Budapest Hotel" twice, that's not enough. I'm going to have to watch it again with Peaches who is convinced I'll love it this time. I doubt it. Stay tuned.
And now, drum roll please...
1) Cannibal Holocaust.
1980 brings us...this. Where do I begin? The title? At least it lets you know what you're in for. The source code for all other "found footage" movies (Think: Blair Witch Project) this happy little bit of cinema is overloaded with blood, gore, and just plain ickiness. The word "graphic" isn't strong enough for the violence and crimes against women, animals, and viewers. Peaches and I both watched most of the movie covering our eyes with our hands.
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