Braveheart, Gladiator...and Sarah?

Hello all.

Today, I did something I have never done in the work place.  (And I used to teach a classroom of primary grade kids.)

I raised my voice in anger.

Not in private, not in the parking lot to a coworker while having a smoke...although I do envy the smokers their time of peace and Elsie-free quiet.  No, I raised my voice to a coworker, in the office, in anger.

Three guesses.

The day started like any other.  I drove to work, got there early, was ready to make a pot of coffee for those of us who enjoy coffee that doesn't have the power to restart a dead man's heart...and then keep him awake for two solid days.  But PM beat me to it, because he, unlike Elsie, was able to FIND the big pot of fresh grounds NEXT TO THE COFFEE MAKER.  (seriously, this book is going to be epic.)

So I didn't have to make coffee.  I was checking my email when NBM called me into the office and asked me a simple question.

"Why wasn't this lead saved the same way as all the others?"

Friends, this has been the battle beyond words.  Saving leads and recording every contact we make, or attempt to make, with potential customers.  Elsie has made this the topic of conversation, debate, and outright revolt.  It's how she spends the first 90 minutes of her day almost every day.  Either I'm explaining, again, how to do it, or NBM is asking, again, why she's doing it wrong.  (And when I say wrong, I mean after weeks of debate, we finally agreed to do it HER WAY.  Only she doesn't want to do it HER way, because, as I've now been proved right, HER WAY involves extra steps on the computer.)

I said, "Well, you'll have to ask Elsie."

He said, "I want you to ask her for me and tell her that I want every lead saved and recorded exactly the same way so we don't lose leads in the system."

I said, "Why do I have to tell her?"

He said, "Because I'm going to be out of the office all day, and I won't see her."

Coward.

So, at 11:07, when she arrived, I informed her that NBM noticed she wasn't saving the leads the way we all agreed we would, and that he wanted her to do so from now on.  And I furthermore went on to say that I was frustrated that I had to constantly check up on and correct mistakes that NBM found in the system that she created.

Yeah, that didn't sit well.

That touched off a 47 minute lecture on her part about how she never has enough time in a day to do...and I'm quoting here...EVERYTHING SHE HAS TO DO IN A DAY.

Friend, if I haven't mentioned it, all she has to do is ATTEMPT to make 100 outgoing phone calls in a day.  She's fed new leads, she's given plenty of follow up leads.  She never has to move from her desk if she doesn't want to.  All she has to do in the course of an 8 hour day is make 100 or so outgoing phone calls and record them in the system.

I average 40-60 outgoing phone calls every day.  I also have a laundry list of other duties that are not phone involved, and usually keep me away from my desk.  I out call her every day.  EVERY DAY.

After the 47 minute lecture from her, when I did NOT RAISE MY VOICE, she got no joy from me. So she stopped, made herself a tiny snack of warmed up chicken wings, mashed potatoes, and a toasted bagel.  She ate that.  Then she went down to PM's office and SHUT THE DOOR.

PM hates having his door shut.  He also hates having to fill in for NBM when NBM drops a potential bomb like that and then leaves.

That particular conversation lasted over half an hour.  I don't have the exact time because I was, well, doing my job...AND HERS.

So, the woman who doesn't have time to do her job properly in the course of a day spent the first two hours of her day complaining how she doesn't have time to do her job.  And then she broke for feeding.

But that's not why I yelled at her.

Nope, that came later.  I went to lunch, took my usual 56minute lunch, and came back at 2:27.  This gives her two hours and three minutes to fit her lunch in before I leave for the day. 

She has yet to do that.

I have been on the new work schedule for over a week.  We aren't in kindergarten.  I did not remind her to take her lunch.  So, at 3:47, she howled how she had to get her lunch in before I left and how she never gets a full lunch.

Yes, I know...it's hard to work a 70 minute lunch into a day when you've already spent 2 hours eating and arguing, another forty minutes in the bathroom, and twenty minutes making personal phone calls.

So PM left for the day, and NMB was gone.  I answered the phone and it was a potential customer...like so many I have to talk to, who was irate that Elsie was calling and calling and calling him to schedule a free estimate...when he'd already had one done.

I hit F12, and put in his number and sure enough. He was in there twice.  Once as a person who had an estimate and once as a person who didn't.

Since I was already mad at her, and itching for a fight, I called her over, "Elsie, look at this. Now this customer is upset that you keep calling him to schedule an estimate when clearly he has already had that done."

I'm not going to bore you with her side of the argument.  It's the same every time.  What it boils down to is that she doesn't feel the need to do an F12 search before she dials a phone number.  She just dials and it hopes the angels will make what falls out of her mouth be intelligent...and something other than a slab of turkey and lettuce on toasted whole wheat bread, a massive serving of wild rice, and something that looked sort of like microwaved cottage cheese.  (oh yeah, it was eating time again.)

I was trying to get out of the office.  I have been informed that I am not to work overtime.  Office drones of the world will feel my pain when I say, if I'm not getting paid over time, I'm not staying late.  Period.  I start early every day.  I'm not staying late.

So when she started snapping at me  (with her mouth full)  about how I wasn't understanding what she was saying and how she was explaining things, that's when I raised my voice.  I said, "The fact remains that you refuse to hit F12 every time you dial a phone number. And that's why this keeps happening.  I'm not staying any longer, I have to go.  No, I'm not listening to this argument anymore, this is the same thing over and over and I HAVE TO GO."

With that I walked out the door.

I SAID HIT F12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not exactly "They may take out lives, but they can never take our FREEDOM!"

Have you not hit F12????  HAVE YOU NOT HIT F12????

It's really more like: "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

Either way, I felt victorious.  Oh I know...tomorrow...as Scarlett O'Hara would say, is another day.  OWNER is coming.

Should be fun.