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Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I am NOT the Fashion Star...and a Conda Crushing update.

Hello all!

Just a quick stop in to let you all know that I've just watched the first episode of "Fashion Star,"  NBC's much touted answer to "Project Runway."

Don't believe me?  Let's go to the check list"
Seriously? This is the best shot they could get
with Nicole Richie?
A far more polished set, plus, Nina Garcia might just be the
meanest woman in fashion today!

Impossibly beautiful, completely foreign super model?  Check

Weepy contestants who make their own clothes and dream of one day selling their freaky designs to everyone in the country?  Check

Weepy contestants who insist their freaky designs are awesome, that no one in the country GETS them, except, of course, the super fringe folks who buy freaky designs?  (And face it, Lady Gaga only has so much closet space.)  Check

"Mentors" who seem to know something about fashion, but ultimately don't give terribly great advice?  Check, and for the record, I think Tim Gunn has more fashion sense than the whole panel of Nicole Richie, Jessica Simpson, and John Varvatos.  John Varvatos seems to know his stuff, but he's book ended by two women who have made a career of being stupid.  And NOW, we're supposed to take them seriously?  Sorry, my everlasting image of Nicole Richie will always involve Paris Hilton, a long pair of gloves, and a very irate cow.  And no, it didn't make me feel good when I agreed with either one of those two women.  It made me feel dirty, and wrong.

The twist is that with Fashion Star, you'll get to buy some of the designs RIGHT NOW.  Well, if the buyers would pull the stick out of their fannies and actually buy some of the designs.  Not that I blame them.  One of the designers made lovely dresses...with huge furry pockets that made it look like the model had two woolly lambs attached to her hips.  First rule of fashion that even this fat middle aged woman knows:  Don't make the model look fat.

Yeah, see, it's all about the blue jeans and cowboy hat.
So I watched the first episode.  But, like so many shows this season that don't star David James Elliott, I probably won't be watching any more.  Project Runway is far more entertaining, and way more fun.  And Heidi Klum has this great way of completely shredding contestants, but since she's got that fantastic accent, they can't understand half what she says.  I sort of like that.

CONDA CRUSHING UPDATE:

Last week I crushed Conda, who only lost three pounds.  I lost two.  This week...she lost seven.  I haven't weighed myself, but I would be stunned if I haven't gained a couple.  I'm afraid to look.  So as of right now, Conda is slightly ahead, but the good news, for me, is that since I've started this...I'm not going to call it a journey, I've actually lost 8 pounds.  On my own, thank you, and with minimal trips to the gym.  (I'm slightly behind this week...I was sick last week.)

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