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Friday, September 14, 2012

Five for Friday: Maybe God likes me Fluffy.

Good Friday morning!

Well, it's a good day for me.  Why?  First, NBM went to the Green Bay Packers game last night and stayed out past his bedtime.  This means there will be no NBM in the office today.  Also, it's a Noelle C Free day, so there'll be No whackadoodle doo.  Finally, The Green Bay Packers WON last night over their arch rivals, the Chicago Bears in a game that was so fun to watch, it made me feel sorry for countries who DON'T have American football on a regular basis. 

Today's Five list is the product of a lot of thought.  I've got a birthday coming up in a few months and I realize that I'm really, really tired of a lot of things and fighting what is turning out to be a losing battle might just be one of those things.

Anyway, enjoy!

Five reasons I might be meant to be fluffy.

5)  All my favorite relatives are fluffy.

Even as a kid I didn't enjoy the company of my less fluffed relatives as much as I did those who were fully fluffy.  I'm starting to resemble my beloved God mother, my Aunt Carrie, and each day I look in the mirror, I realize that's not a completely bad thing.

4)  Something always seems to get in the way, and it's not just that I'm slowly forming a physical bond with my couch.

I've been trying to lose weight for years, but the past nine months I wanted to train for a 5K.  I never said anything about weight loss, I just wanted to train for the race.  But it was one thing after another, starting with the speedy degeneration of my thumb joints earlier this spring to the car accident this summer.  Now my after work time is filled with doctor's appointments and physical therapy and I'm starting to feel like maybe God likes me fluffy.  (I don't want KRAM or any of my friends at Gold's Gym to fear, however.  My PT has given me a laundry list of exercises I must do everyday.  It's very nearly a 20 minute workout.)

3)  Randy Mantooth, Rick Springfield, David James Elliott, and Russell Crowe aren't showing up on my doorstep to sweep me away and my Hubby loves me the way I am.

If you lost weight, I'd write
a song about you.
If you got skinny you could ride
in the squad.
Oh if only you'd lose weight, then I'd fly you off in my F14.

Are you NOT THIN YET?  ARE YOU NOT THIN?


Ladies, we all do this:  We all dream of a day our favorite actor/musician/whatever shows up and takes us away from everything...right after we lose twenty pounds.  Shoot, it's a big part of the premise for my book Dream in Color.  And while the daydream is nice, and a good motivator (How many years have I said I'm dropping twenty by the time Rick Springfield shows up in town?  What do I really think is going to happen?  He's going to look out over the of women and say, "hey, look, Sarah's lost some weight.  I love her now."

Meanwhile, my Hubby loves me, and has loved me for more than 25 years, just the way I freaking am.

2)  I'm starting to sort of like my clothes.

Don't let the double X fool you.
There's no room for Fluffy.
See the heart?
Even their logo loves
the fluffy girl
As much as I've griped over the years about the lack of selection for fluffy girls in normal stores  (and seriously, TJ MAXX?  You're a glorified rummage sale store....and the best you can do for 52% of the female shopping population is ONE RACK of fluffy clothes?  Guess I won't be a Maxx-inista.  And guess what?  I drive my daughter and her friends shopping all the time.  I don't go where I can't shop.  Burlington Coat Factory is the same type of store and yet I've found some awesome clothes there.  Ponder it.)  I looked at my closet the other day and I realized I may have found my groove stylistically speaking.  I have a wardrobe full of comfortable, semi stylish, clothes.  Would I like to be a size 10 and shop in the normal departments?  OH YEAH!  But then, what would I do with all these great clothes I have NOW? 

1)  Just how ugly would I be if I weren't fluffy?

My fluff is filling out what would be wrinkles and my double chin is actually overlapping my unwanted facial hair.  If I lost the fluff, I might be more hideous than I am now!  I'm not sure I can take that chance!
But I'm thin!

Does this mean I'm going to stop going to Gold's altogether?  No, of course now.  Half my hilarious material comes from that place.  My PT has moved into a maintainance phase, as we slowly realize that my neck injury may not get better.  So they've got me working on some machines now, machines I can use at Gold's.  (You know that thing you see on the health channel where the super obese people get their sweat on by pedaling with their hands because they're too huge to move anything else?  Yep,  that's what I can do now.)

What this does mean is that I might just stop beating myself up for my weight. Hey, who knows...maybe I'll get lucky and I'll be one of those old women who just sort of shrink as they age.  By the time I'm 80 I might be my ideal size.

Meanwhile, maybe I just need to work on being happy instead of working on being thin.

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