It's been that sort of week here at Stuff, Installed. In the last ten days there's been a major argument about a pickle, the day when the carpet cleaners and the electricians all disrupted Captain Nubbin's peace and quiet so he ran away for a couple hours, an interview with a potential employee that ended with C.N. fanning the guy's cologne stink out of his office (hint: He didn't get the job) and the usual parade of freaks and geaks and broken people who insist on giving Stuff Installed business.
In thumbing through some of my past Five for Fridays, I ran across this list of movie quotes which sort of brilliantly sums up everything I'd like to scream while on the phone with people who are incapable of getting through a day using the tiniest amount of common sense allowed. If you, too, are sick of dealing with people who believe there is such a thing as a self cleaning bath tub, and get enraged when you suggest there isn't, and there certainly isn't one you personally installed because you don't do that, then this list is for you:
5) I've been blown up! Take me to the hospital! Take me to the hospital, I'm sick! (The 'Burbs)
One of my top 100 all time favorite movies. "The "Burbs." And one of the best quotes from a very quotable flick. And a pretty good way to signal to those around you that you've had ENOUGH.
4) "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." (Gone with the Wind)
Now, while I would NEVER advise cussing...something about tossing this classic verbal hand grenade into the middle of polite society is making me giggle at the moment. Best part? Ya don't even have to use much energy with this one. Just calmly let it drop on the person or persons making some ridiculous request of you and walk away. Perfection!
3) "I'm Bob. Would you knock me out, please? Just hit me in the face. " (What about Bob?)
Granted, this isn't so much an angry quote, but it just happens to be my Face book status at the moment. Sometimes just asking for this kind of help will get your point across. Sometimes. Then again, if you're to the emotional point where you're asking to be smashed in the face, chances are you're working with complete morons who simply aren't going to get it.
2) Are you not entertained? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED????????(Gladiator)
Yep, this one is the go to when those around you just aren't going to be happy no matter what you do or say. I'll admit, I've used this one...and had fairly decent results. Shut my kids up for about six minutes one hot summer day when I'd dragged them across God's green earth for summer time fun and they still wanted MORE!
1) Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. (The Princess Bride )
When feeling like the world is against you, wouldn't you just love to walk into a room full of people who have been making you insane and shout this battle cry? And then proceed to share some of the sweet ninja moves you've been practicing since you were ten and some kid pushed you in the mud and you knew, you KNEW that someday you'd have a moment when the world was pressing down on you and you'd rise up, you'd RISE UP AND YOU'd TAKE CONTROL because you ARE A NINJA and you RULE!
Um, oh wait, where was I?
So anyway, that's a list of five movie quotes everyone should have in their brain banks, just in case the right situation arises and you simply can't take it anymore....
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