This girl is funny...not skinny.

This girl is funny...not skinny.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

not sure why I have to take my pants off for this...

Good morning!

This will be short I'm typing mostly left handed but I had to share.

Yesterday I had a right handed carpal tunnel release.  It's a long time coming and I am very excited for the results to happen.  But the procedure itself gave me this post and I can't wait until next week when the casting comes off.

We were told to get to the surgery center at 7:45 AM.  Other instructions included wearing loose clothing. It said nothing about not wearing metal and there was certainly nothing about getting naked for surgery. Believe me,if there had been I would have prepared better.

At this point I'd like to warn Hubby and Todd and anyone else with delicate sensibilities that you may want to turn away.  Well, not Hubby so much since he was pretty much there.  

Are we ready?  Okay.

So they bring me into what is basically a large closet with a curtain...they call it an exam room...and they have me sit on a wheeled bed.  They call it a cart. For a fluffy girl like me, saying "Get on the cart" is sort of an insult.  But anyway, the first nice nurse tells me to remove all my clothing except my underwear.  I'm rather surprised by this.  Why bother telling me what to wear if you're just going to make me take if off?

I seriously did not think I'd have to shave my legs for a hand surgery...

She also tells me to remove my bra since it has metal in it.  This was a debate I had before getting there.  Sports bra?  Regular bra?  The way this procedure was sold to me I figured a regular bra would be fine. Again, it never occurred to me I'd have to get naked for what was described to me as a "quick out patient thing that won't take half an hour."

I ask, "The non metal containing sweat pants too?"  

nurse:  Yes.

Here's the thing:  I got my monthly punctuation 12 days EARLY.  (nothing like having punctuation twice in the shortest month of the year.)  I was annoyed but realized that dealing with a punctuation is probably something I can't do with one hand, especially if that hand is my left which is basically an ornamental appendage.  But yesterday morning i was still a little concerned about my punctuation protection which ALWAYS leaks.  I was not wearing my extra sport shorts under my sweats as I do for massages and other instances where I'm required to remove my pants. Why not?  

BECAUSE THIS WAS FOR A HAND SURGERY!

Talk about causing stress. Any wonder my blood pressure, taken by very nice nurse #2 was a little high?  

After stripping and getting into their gown WHICH HAD METAL SNAPS ON THE SHOULDER...I lay on the cart for an hour before nurse #3 wheeled me into the surgical suite.  They shot me full of anesthetic which was awful,  and put a tent over my head.  My surgeon, the doc who six years ago told me I was too young to have my kind of arthritis started talking movies to me and by the time the surgery was done 12 MINUTES LATER nurse #4 and I had him convinced to go to the Big Screen Bistro for all his movie watching needs.

I got back to the closet and was told I could get dressed.  Well, having the bulky dressing/cast on my hand made it impossible to put on the bra (again, had I known wearing metal would be a problem I wouldn't have done it...except it couldn't have been a problem since my gown had metal.)  So I got everything else back on, was happy to see my punctuation protection didn't do what it ALWAYS does, (leak) and I  returned to the waiting room, where I managed to jam my bra into my purse before even Hubby realized what I had in my hand.

So my friends the moral of the story is this: it doesn't matter what you're going in for, you're going to have to strip so if you're going to the doctor you may as well shave your legs and leave the bra at home.  No matter what. 

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