Sarah's Mother's Day rant!

Good morning!

This has been a tremendous week for me.  My son, Skippy, released his first book A Collection of writing from under my sheets, Noelle C gave her two weeks' notice, and it's Mother's Day!

Yes, you read all of that.  Noelle C is less than two weeks away from being gone out of my life.  I'd like to say it'll be the end of my book series that I'm working on, but I said that when Elsie W left in a cloud of divine fury, so we'll just have to see what Lumbergh hires next.

So it's been a good week, which should translate into a good Mother's Day weekend, right?

Not quite.

In true, "It can only happen to Sarah" fashion, my Mothers' Day weekend went from a dream weekend of writing and napping to, well, let's see if you can keep up with the time line.

As some point about a week ago, my mother sent me a text asking if we could "all be together." This is a very typical mother guilt technique.  I've used it myself on my kids when they say, "What do you want for -------"  I say, "I just want us all to be together."

Which is fine when you're four people who live in the same house and can manage to get your schedules to connect for a couple hours.  Not so easy when you're three family units living in four houses  (my brother's kids split their time with their mother.) and have that many more schedules to clear. 

Now, Hubby and the kids and I had plans to go to brunch at my favorite brunching place.  I directed my mom to talk to him.  He invited her, and therefore also his mom, who lives a couple hours away, to join us.  All was well, it was going to be a nice brunch at a nice place.  No muss, no fuss.

Except...well, Brother's kids were going to be at their mother's for , you know, Mother's Day.  So then we wouldn't be "all together."

So my mother sent Hubby a text saying that Brother had wanted everyone to come to his house in the evening when his kids could be there. 

Problem one:  My kids were both going to be WORKING in the evening.  So then we wouldn't be "all together."

I won't go into family dynamics with you, I'll let you draw your own conclusions about what's happening. 

So okay, Hubby sent a text back saying he and I would be there.  And that satisfied Mother. It doubled up our plans, since we still had Mother in Law driving in, but that's fine.

And then we got a text from Brother, who expressed confusion...he was looking forward to BRUNCH AT THE BRUNCHING PLACE.

Are we drawing conclusions yet?

But we aren't done.  Hubby and Brother worked out the menu, and all was still well.  Since my kids weren't going to be there, we wouldn't be "all together" but I guess it was closer than not having Brother's kids there, so it was fine.  Hubby and I would make half the meal, then drive across two counties on a Sunday evening for dinner.  Our plans for brunch?  Scrapped. Mother in Law will be eating at our house...after we do four hours in church because my Sunday School kids are singing in both services.  So now we're cooking for two meals and DRIVING.

But we're not done yet.

I get a phone message from Brother late this week saying that we don't need to bring any food, but that as a housewarming present he'd like us to buy him a butcher block cutting board.  (Oh, did I fail to mention he moved into a new house?)  Now, my typical housewarming present is candles because, while I have NO MONEY, I have millions of very nice candles.  But no, he wants a butcher block cutting board.

But we're not done.

So Hubby says he's still making what he was going to make because he's a vegetarian and Brother never met a dish he didn't want to dress up with meat of some kind.  So now, we're cooking for two meals, we're driving across two counties, we're SHOPPING FOR A GIFT, and yes, we're cleaning the house because Mother in Law is coming TODAY in the early afternoon.

But we're NOT DONE.

Hubby then asks if it's okay if he WORKS TODAY 8-1.  The extra money is nice, but ummmm....well, he promised last night he'd clean the house.  Well, he did do most of it, but the bathrooms are still a stink pile mess, and I have to get the office in shape for company. ( I love my mother in law, and she always says she's not coming to see the house, she's coming to see up, but frankly, if she saw the squalor we live in she'd run screaming from the house.) Plus now the shopping errands fall to me this morning, alone. And since she's coming in the afternoon, my one shot at a nap is gone.

BUT WE'RE NOT DONE!

Hubby also mentioned he has a YOUTH GROUP event tonight.  He'll be bowling with the church youth group until very late tonight.  Meanwhile, I'll be watching TV with Mother in Law, when what I really want to do is work on the Else W. book. And I won't be able to do THAT because Mother in Law will be sleeping in the office.  (Hey, I suggested she sleep in our room...I was overruled.)

So let's review:  My mother's day weekend started with gift shopping for my brother, cleaning the house my mother in law.  Today I get to run errands, clean some more, cook something, (I have to bake a pie for a choir thing on Monday...) Tomorrow I have four hours of church, brunch at home with mother in law, clean up after that, the drive across two counties to Brother's house where we will be "all together" except for my kids.

We'll be done right about the time I have to go to bed to get up and face my work week again.

To ease the blow a bit, Hubby and kids had roses delivered to me at work.  That was very nice and I like the flowers very much, but that should tell you a lot about the mood in our house right now. We are not a flower buying couple.  Hubby is doing what he can to sort of smooth over the fact that my simple weekend of writing and napping has turned into a rant on my blog.

So happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there who will get to celebrate with your kids.  And none of you better say one word about your family doing NOTHING special for the day.  I will trade with you in a single heartbeat!

Poor Hubby...he tries so hard...

Good evening!

So yesterday was Mother's Day, and I have to say, Hubby and the kids always do a pretty good job.  Granted, I can never expect much actual TIME from the children, they have places to go and things to do, but we did have a very nice brunch that included a spirited conversation on many, some very cringe worthy, topics.  (My children have inherited my love of bringing up topics that are cringe worthy, and then making them funny.)

Hubby, however, lives for one thing and one thing only:  To never do anything that gets him put in this blog.

On that count, the poor guy failed.

It really wasn't his fault.  He found some very fun, and interesting gifts.  He thoroughly cleaned and waxed my car.  He replaced our tattered bedroom shade with a new room darkening shade.  He got me season Two of "Mad Men"  AND "Breaking Bad."  He got me a CD and a book and a very pretty ornament that said "I love you."

He got me yoga socks to go with the yoga mat he got me for Christmas.

And he got me a lot of tea.

I have grown to love hot teas.  I drink it in the afternoons now because coffee is a no no after noon.  So I love heating up some water and popping in a tea bag and sipping it.  I also like tea cold, so tea pretty much works for me in any weather.

Now hubby wanted to up my tea game.  So he went to Crate and Barrel, one of his favorite fantasy store, and he got me some very nice loose leaf tea.  Then he got me a tea infuser.

Are you familiar with this item?

Here's a picture:

You're supposed to pull this apart and put the loose leaf tea in this and then put it back together and stick the clear end in your cup of hot water to let the tea steep.

Now, maybe it's because no one in the family is great about reading labels.  Maybe it was because I was so full of BACON  (another mother's day gift...Hubby made me grits and bacon.) that I was not thinking clearly.

But I must have seemed confused...so my children...who are very helpful...said, "Why did Dad get you a tampon holder?"

We laughed about that for ten full minutes.  Hubby threatened to return it because, as one of the children pointed out, this would definitely get him in the blog.

And it has.

And he hasn't.

Because I still love my tampon holder/tea infuser.

Hey, I love anything that is a multitasker.

A Salute to Mothers...and their children.

Good morning!

So today is Mother's Day here in the US.  Normally I'm against the whole fake holiday thing, but Mother's Day and Father's Day are okay in my book because, well, if done right, parenting is, next to marriage, the most difficult, heartbreaking, amazing job you will ever take on.

So here's to you, MOM!

What makes a Mom? 

Well, first you have to have children that call you "mom."  They can be any age, they can still live in the house or not, but they have to, at least a couple times a year, call you "mom" and you had to have, at some point, changed their diapers/held their hair when they barfed, washed  vomit and blood from their clothes, and kissed their boo boos.

You also had to have yelled at them for missing curfew, failing to turn in homework, sassing you, not cleaning their room, or leaving candy wrappers all over the house.

To be a mom, you had to have cried, prayed, sweat, cheered, and raged in private, because being a mom is sometimes a very private thing.

You have to be a person who can love another person so completely that no matter what your child says or does, you are willing to hold them in your arms and want only the very best for them.

To be a mom, you have to be willing to teach them everything you believe and stand for...all the while knowing they will likely, either for a short time or for life, adopt beliefs and causes opposite of yours.  And you have to be okay with that.

Back in the day...

With that in mind, let me tell you about my kids.  I've got the boy child, Skippy...he's a surly looking kid who did very well in high school, but hates the idea of school in general.  He's very smart, but has no desire to do anything.  Yet he reads...he reads endlessly and thinks about things.   His views about the big issues of the day are rigid, but there's a compassion there that brings me to my knees every day.  The only thing he cannot forgive is hypocrisy. 

He may seem to be directionless to the casual outsider, but he knows exactly who he is and where he wants to be.  He's just waiting for the world to offer him a path he's interested in taking.

Then there's Girl child, Peaches.  Like her brother, she suffers no hypocrites, but she's slightly kinder to people.  She has an enormous capacity for love, and she champions the fringe dwellers of our society, while demanding that those around her take responsibility for themselves.  She is the most self sufficient child I've met at 15, and the most self aware.  She has a tremendous flair for style, though some of her outfits draw criticism from the more stodgy people in her life.  She doesn't care what people say, she's going to express herself through her dress, and I rarely have to ask what her mood is.  I usually know just by looking at the color of her tights.

To someone who doesn't know my children well, Skippy and Peaches might seem like odd, slacker kids with rebellious streaks and no respect for authority.  To be honest, it's never easy raising strong willed kids who don't march to the lock step beat of society's expectations.  Any parent with a kid who falls outside the guidelines of "normal" will agree with me. 

It's not that they don't respect authority.  They just don't respect hypocrisy, and they certainly don't respect those who try and make up their minds for them.   As they get older, Hubby and I may not always agree with our kids.  But we taught them to take responsibility for their actions, to pay their own way, to work hard, to bow a knee to God, and to always be honest, no matter what the cost.

They'll never make it in politics, and they will make me crazy until the day I die.  But I love them and I know they are going to be okay.

So Moms, especially those of you who have kids who aren't always clean, who aren't always sweet, who don't keep silent, or who don't feel like talking, here's a salute to you.