So, for the last several years I've been justifying my nightly hours on the couch with these words:
"I got my steps in already."
Yes, I am one of those people who wears a pedometer. Better yet, since I carry my fat in the gut area, I've found the wearing a pedometer on my belt (uh, okay, when was the last time I wore a BELT?) was pointless since my gut fat and my abdomen fat sort of enveloped the pedometer in a blanket of fat and the pedometer didn't shake with each step. Which means the steps I took weren't counted. Which means, what's the point of taking steps?
So, after several weeks of counting steps and checking the pedometer and counting more steps (an activity I did pretty much where ever I was...meaning the folks at the Pick and Save are moderately certain I'm insane...) I figured out that the best place to wear the pedometer was on my shoe.
Now, you've seen pedometers. It's not like they blend with your typical shoe. And, bonus, in the summer wearing a pedometer on a flip flop is sort of uncomfortable. I've had people stop me at the store and ask me what I'm wearing on my shoe. One little old lady, the dear heart, asked me if it was one of those electronic monitoring devices. I told her what it was and she said, "Oh, in that case, can you reach that can of soup on the top shelf sweetie?"
Hey, I'm an outgoing person so having people asking me what I'm wearing my shoe doesn't bother me. I did stop wearing dresses to church though, because I've found church people don't ask...they like to point and whisper. And then they make their kids ask me when I'm trying to teach a Sunday School lesson. It's not easy getting the whole point of Moses and the Red Sea when, at the climax of the story, someone pipes up and says, "Mrs. Bradley? My mom wants to know what you have stuck on your shoe."
Good thing I'm not one of those who embarrasses easily.
"Well, it's like this. I'm FAT. So I wear this step counter to make sure I take a minimum of 10,000 steps every single day. Once I've hit 10,000 I can lie down on the couch and eat pizza."
Now, I haven't exactly lost a lot of weight doing this. I've gained and last the same ten pounds over the last five years. Which would be fine, if I didn't need to lose more like 80 pounds...
So I've started walking on a weekly basis with a friend of mine. (Hi Dawn!) This is great, except you know a mom's schedule is really never set in stone. so we did great the first three weeks, and now the last three we haven't. Still, it's a start. And I've upped my goal of steps to 12,000, so I've got that going for me.
But, on the phone with Dawn the other day, realizing we weren't walking this week again, Dawn mentioned a sick little thing that made me want to cry.
"My doctor says that now that we're over 40 we have to add some cardio."
"Sure," I said, "I do my 12,000 steps a day."
"No, that's not cardio. You have to get your blood pumping."
Apparently, trying to have a meaningful conversation with the teens that live in my house doesn't count. I have to move my body in a way that raises my heart rate.
So, let me get this straight. Those steps now have to be fast, sweat inducing steps?
Guess I don't have to wear the step counter to church anymore, then. I mean, how often is the opportunity to run going to come up in church? I'm not going to run up to communion, right?
I suppose I shouldn't count the steps I do at Kohl's either, then. Right?
But....that's half my steps on a weekly basis!
Maybe I don't need to lose 80 pounds. Maybe just losing that same ten pounds 8 times will be enough???
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