So this weekend Hubby and I will be trekking across the state to attend his 25th high school class reunion. (And in answer to your question, no I'm not going to mine. If you read this blog long enough you'll know why, but for now let's just say it's not going to happen.)
At any rate, we're leaving Skippy and Peaches home alone. Well, Skippy will be at Summerfest or working most of the weekend and Peaches is actually staying with a friend, but stopping in to check on Kit-Ten. Still, they will have no direct parental supervision for two solid days.
This is the first time we've left the area code for more than twenty hours. Oddly enough I wasn't nervous about it...until I recalled all the John Hughes movies I watched in my teens.
For those of you who don't know or don't remember, the recently passed Mr. Hughes wrote and directed some of the cornerstone teen films of a generation. "Pretty in Pink" "Breakfast Club" "Sixteen Candles" "Ferris Buehler's Day off." All his. All genius. All a perfect slice of teen life pie...
I've memorized those films and in all of them I'm Molly Ringwald. (Well, except for Ferris Buehler...she's not in that.) I'm the quirky, pretty, misunderstood teen who has to make her way through life...in spite of her really pretty terrible parents.
John Hughes, when he did address parents in his films, was not kind. He wrote parents from a teen's point of view: Stupid, uncool, controlling, absent, bumbling, well meaning, forgetful, and out of touch with what's vital.
Pretty much how my kids view me.
When did I become the parent in a John Hughes film? I'm not the parent! I'm Molly stinkin' Ringwald! I'm pretty in pink...I sew my own clothes. I eat birthday cake while sitting on top of a dining room table. I am the misunderstood popular girl who can apply lipstick with my cleavage!
(Okay, that last thing...I can't even apply lipstick with my hands, and I was NEVER the popular girl...if you're watching "Breakfast Club" and you wonder who I was...two words...Brian Johnson. Yep, the nerd. The grade obsessed geek. Minus the interest in math. But I did own a terrible green sweatshirt.)
Still, when did this happen?
Oh yeah...right about the time I decided to have kids.
The minute you become a parent, your "Cool, with it" meter starts dropping. Oh sure, until the kid is seven, you rule. You can drive, you know how to order stuff at the drive up window, you know what the phone number for the pizza place is. You can make a clock work by putting in a fresh battery! YOU ARE AWESOME!
But someplace between 7 and 11, that awesomeness dies a little bit each day. By the time a child is twelve, the only reason he/she will be seen with you is because you can drive. By the time they're 13, they'd rather ride their bike or walk, thank you. By the time they're driving, they'd like to pretend they don't have parents.
And so, with one driver and one bike rider in the house, I'm the absent, uncool, out of touch parent. In spite of my best efforts, I've become that mom. All the trips to the pool, the ice cream I've bought, the sleepovers I've hosted, the trips to Great America...all for naught. They are teens, and that makes me the parent of teens.
So I'm going to my husband's class reunion. I'm leaving the kids alone for the weekend. In my head there will be a party ala "Sixteen Candles" and when I return I'll find a geeky freshman trapped in my coffee table. My wine cellar will be destroyed, and there will be traces of birthday cake on my dining room table.
Oh wait...I don't have a wine cellar. I don't even have a dining room table!
Okay then...I've got that going for me, I guess!
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