I love shoes.
Let me say that again.
I love shoes.
I love shopping for them, I love trying them on, I love buying them, and I love wearing them, and matching them with different outfits. Shoes, unlike any other piece of clothing, do not judge. You may have big feet, but there's no such thing as a "plus size" department for shoes where they make really ugly, tent like shoes that are not flattering. You may get bigger or smaller in your life, but your shoe size, typically, will stay the same. After the birth of my kids, my shoes size went up a half a size. My dress size, on the other hand....
I have owned, at any one time, no less than six pairs of black dress shoes. And I'm not even a person who buys a lot of shoes. You have to have no fewer than four pairs of black dress shoes, because you simply never know what is going to work best with the outfit you pick. The right shoe can make all the difference when an outfit is perhaps a bit lack luster. So I was ready for anything, with my six. I had a two pairs of black pumps, one patent leather (I love that shine) and one not. Then you've got to have the flats. I don't like flats, they make my legs look thicker than they already are, but you have to have a pair of dressy flats. And of course, there's the bulkier shoe you have to have when you wear slacks in the winter. Maybe a bit chunky, but solid and warmer and every bit as nice as any of the others. Then I had two pairs of boots, one a cute slouchy pair and one, my favorite shoe, a backless pair of boots. You read that right. Backless boots. I get a lot of looks in this, especially when I wear them to church. Nothing so titillating as an ankle up there at the Communion rail.
Six pairs of shoes...all black. And then, in a shoe conquest I'll never forget, I got a 7th. A shiny, sparkly pair of shoes with a 5 inch stiletto heel and rhinestones from stem to stern. Spaghetti thin straps I barely knew I had shoes on. (Well, except for the searing pain in the balls of my feet when I hoisted my rotundness up on them.) Beautiful shoes.
I was ready for any sort of dressy affair that might come along.
Which is what I figured yesterday when I went to my closet to put together an ensemble for the theater. I'm going to see "Wicked" with Peaches, Hubby, and Marie and her boy tomorrow. I have to have just the right outfit for this event. Since I don't get out often, I have a very casual wardrobe, but dug way in the back and found something suitable. All I needed was the right pair of dress shoes.
I dug and dug and dug for my dress shoes to no avail. Oh sure, I found the beauty shoes, but I'm not wearing 5 inch stilettos for a whole evening. Sorry, my limit on those shoes is two hours on Christmas Eve. Because nothing says, "Celebrate the Birth of our Savior" like some really sexy shoes. I found my backless boots, but since I'm wearing slacks the allure of either of those is lost. Where were my flats? Where are my pumps? Where are my solid slacks shoes?
What I did find were three pairs of running shoes. (I know...) I found my pair of pink clogs, that I love. I found my blue suede slip on shoes with the hiker sole. I located a pair of red mary janes...with the hiker sole. I found my steel toed hikers (Just in case I ever go hiking in a steel mill) and I found three pairs of flip flop sandals, all in varying (but low) degrees of fanciness.
Apparently, while I wasn't looking, the shoe fairy came to my closet and replaced all my pretty shoes with athletic, comfortable, and wildly colorful casual footwear. Either the shoe fairy wants me to exercise more, of she thinks I'm an 80 year old with bad feet and a whimsical love of color.
Okay, I do have bad feet and a bad knee. When I left the corporate office world behind to raise Skippy and Peaches, I lost my need for fashionable footwear. When you babysit, you need shoes that are going to get you from point A to point B many, many, many times quickly. When you clean office buildings for 12 years, running shoes with good support are vital. When you unload trucks full of retails wares, a steel toed boot is the difference between having toes and...not. Then of course there was that car accident where I messed up my knee. (More on that another day. It's a funny story.)
The pink clogs I won on a radio contest. Not directly, but I did. True story. Two years ago I won a trivia contest called, "You Still Can't Win." (It's on the Bob and Brian morning show on 102.9 The Hog in Milwaukee. Brilliant show. I still play from time to time.) One of the prizes was a $300 gift card to Rogan's shoes. Rogan's specializes in athletic and outdoor shoes. And they have a buy one, get the second half off sale all the time. So when I went in there, everyone got shoes. And I found these beautiful Merrell clogs. I loved them. I tried on all the different colors. I didn't want to love the pink ones, but I did. (I have a thing about pink. More on that another day.)
The blue and red shoes, also Merrells, I got on eBay. See, I love Merrell Shoes, I don't love their daunting prices.
Okay, so I haven't needed a pair of fancy shoes in a long time, but come on...I'm a shoe hoarder! Where are my shoes?
I had a Winnie the Pooh moment where I sat amongst my piles of sensible shoes and thought and thought and thought. And then I realized something:
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| Think, think, think...where are my pretty shoes? And while we're at it, where are my pants? |
I don't have any dresses, either. I stopped wearing them when I had to wrangle kids in church and I realized that the easiest way to crawl under a pew to retrieve a book or toy thrown by a child was to wear something that was NOT a skirt.
On a side note, since I don't wear dresses, I don't wear pantyhose. And I don't have to shave my legs nearly as often. Like from September to May, not at all. That's a big time savings right there.
No dresses, no need for dress shoes. The dresses and the shoes went to Goodwill. My solid slacks shoes wore out and I simply didn't replace them. My pumps, gone. Can't wear them, I have circulation problems in my toes, and I'd rather be able to feel my toes than have stylish footwear. My super high heels: I can only wear once a year. Flats: Can't wear them...bone spurs in my heels, and flats don't offer enough cushion. My slouchy boots, so cute? Stinky...so cute at concerts, but so cheap in material. Gone.
So I'm faced with a dilemma. I can either wear the blue suede shoes, which aren't that dressy, but match the outfit sort of. I can wear the backless boots, and suffer through numb toes and sore feet, and bad heels for minimal effect.
Or...
I can go shoe shopping!
I believe I feel a quick lunchtime shopping trip coming on!
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