This girl is funny...not skinny.

This girl is funny...not skinny.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Keep the cleavage at Ren Faire and out of my face.

Good afternoon!

As you know, I have a knew office lady.  Elsie was let go early this week and my new lady coworker is NO ELSIE.  So I've started calling her NOELLE C.

Just so you have a picture in mind: Noelle C is in her late 50's.  She is short, and round, like me.  She's quite proud of her weight loss since January...and I mentioned in my last blog when I detailed how she dropped trow at my desk to show me her pants size.

Now, I thought that momentary declothing was just a fluke, first day nerves, a weird "get to know you" custom her people  (and by her people I mean people who think dropping their pants to show pants size to a stranger...or a coworker...is acceptable.) have. 

I thought wrong.

I've mentioned that Noelle C is unfailingly cheerful.  Everyone loves her. 

Everyone but me.

Yes, she's good at her job.  And she makes sure every person who comes within 15 feet of her knows 1) she used to work at Dunder Mifflin  2)  she's very good at her job  3)  she ADORES NBM  4)  she HATED the women who previously worked there, and they HATED HER.

Seriously...we just got rid of drama...MUST we
relive drama I didn't even witness?
The last two creep me out just a tiny bit.  See, I am wary of any boss/employee relationship that crosses a line, and abject worship is pretty much that line.  If the Evil Bossman taught me anything it's that there's a line and people who cross it are trouble.  And as for her previous experience...after listening to her regale me with tales of how evil the previous women were, (I met one of them, I didn't see any horns or anything.  I thought she was nice.)  I'm not interested.  Previous employees are ancient history.  Even Elsie.  I'm not interested in gossiping about her with Noelle C unless I need to explain something Elsie did, and how Noelle C now has to fix it.  (And yes, there's a lot of that.)

Anyway, as I said, everyone loves her, and since everyone else in the office is a MAN it's doubtful they will see what I see....especially since Noelle C likes to save the most revealing work habits when we are alone.

Two days ago I got a good view of granny panties and a tiny bit of fanny crack.

Today...cleavage.  And way too close to an actual R rating for my taste.  I'm not a prude.  I dress up for Renaissance Faires and I corset and bustier my upstairs and much as possible.  But I keep things buttoned down for work.  It just seems proper.

But we got to talking about previous employees...her favorite topic and she mentioned a younger woman who worked there right before she did.  (How she would then know this is beyond me.)  It seems this young woman liked to wear low cut tops and high cut skirts.

This is what she was describing.
Telling me would have been enough.  Showing me...

Yes, Noelle C actually unbuttoned her jacket top, pushed her girl glands together and up and said, "She walked around like this all the time."

What with her shirt flapping open...and her own hands acting as the ultimate Wonder Bra? 

Somehow I doubt it.

This was a little closer to what
I saw.
The bad news is, since everyone LOVES her I have no one to share this with in the office.  The good news is...I'm not that attached to this job.  At this point, I haven't brought anything back to my desk except for my radio, so the minute we hit the NC-17 rating, I'll be out the door.

Maybe if we just dispense with outer clothes completely
she'll be more comfortable.
I doubt it will come to that.  It's clear that she's so far into NBM's pocket she knows his PIN number, and it's also clear she's never liked any woman she ever worked with at Dunder Mifflin.  My guess is, and I shared this with PM today, I'll become the bad employee soon.

Meanwhile, I'm never without a blog topic!

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