As many of you know, I'm a fan of the TV show Friends. I'm reminded tonight of the episode where Ross and Chandler wanted to quit their gym, but couldn't figure out how because every time they tried, the gym made it difficult.
Don't worry, Golds, I don't want to quit you. I just haven't been there in a while, but I haven't quit!
So I called DirecTV today and I said "I want to cancel the premium channels."
I got Zach, a young fellow with a Texas accent. Just my luck, I thought. Usually I get Lolita from the Philippines who speaks almost no English.
By the end of the phone call, I was aching for Lolita.
Zach's first response was, "Really?"
"Yes," says I .
"But don't you watch the premium channels?"
"No," says I .
"Don't you like the original programming?"
"Yes," says I, "but it's not as convenient as netflix or my local video store and in a week it's going to be four times as expensive. I want to cancel the premium channels!"
"But..." and then Zach went into a long description of the many facets of programming I would be missing if I cancelled the premium channels.
"Zach." I said. I repeated him name six times before he stopped for a breath. "I WANT TO CANCEL THE PREMIUM CHANNELS!"
He then put me on hold for a moment. When he came back he said I was all set. And then, and I have no idea how this happened, maybe because I asked for an up to date channel guide (the one they gave us is horribly outdated) I don't know, but then he said, "Do you have a high def TV?"
"I don't know...42, 45 inches. I have no idea."
"Well mine is 60 inches."
|Silly girl...don't you know...Zach's TV is bigger!|
From there we went on to talking about how everything Liam Neeson has done since "Taken" has been blah and how Kristen Stewart has one facial expression. I have no feelings one way or another about either actor, I just wanted to be sure my premium channels were canceled.
After 22 minutes of movie reviews, Zach finally informed me that we were all set, and that my premium channels were canceled.
And...his TV is bigger than mine.