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Friday, August 8, 2014

Victoria may have a secret...but I don't!

Good morning!

WARNING!  Today's blog deals with women's underwear...more specifically...mine.  This blog is not suitable for any of my Sunday School students!  


You've been warned.  

Since the dawn of forever, I've been wearing one basic style of underwear.  I think it's called "High cut briefs" but honestly, I think that's just a marketing ploy for those of us not willing to admit that we wear the dreaded "Granny panties."

I know, I know, underwear is supposed to be sexy.  It's also supposed to match.  My mother trained me to wear bras and panties that matched in color.  (True, we wore pretty much only black or white, but still, they matched.)  

I don't know when it happened, but I'm going to guess right about the time the kids started picking out their own underwear  (and if you haven't watched your teens pick out underwear, I suggest you go on that outing this weekend.  It will horrify and amuse you...sort of like watching Captain Nubbin try to do anything work related on the computer.)  but at some point I sort of gave up.  I started buying these high cut briefs because they didn't ride up and they were comfortable.  I've never been a thong person.  I've got relatives and friends who tell me thongs are so comfortable no matter what size you are, but, come on.  I do all the household laundry.  If I wear thongs, I'll know where they've been and really I don't want to be handling THAT!

The pic on the right...that's not me, but those could be my panties!

A few weeks ago I decided I was going to try something new.  At 46 I'm in a weird place.  I'm really not too old to be trying new stuff, but then again, I'm not young enough to say, "Hey, let's do something crazy!" I decided to try a totally different style of underwear.

But which style to choose?  I mean, in the world of women's underwear there are half dozen completely different styles...at least half dozen.  That's what I was able to find at my local department store.  I know the thong is right out, but I could go back to the bikini I used to wear in college.  Or maybe 

Just to name a few...
a string bikini, you know, not quite thong, not quite covering anything?  I could go the other direction completely and go full on granny pantie.  

I settled on a style I'd never ever worn before:  The boy short.  I had a friend once who liked the boy short because even though she was fluffy, and the boy shorts were basically wider than they were long, they were still comfortable.

Also,the men in my house wear those boxer briefs all the time and they like them.  (I'm more apt to take underwear advice from Skippy and Hubby because, let's face it, they're closer to m y size than Peaches, who is tiny enough to be able to enjoy any style of underwear she chooses.  

I ordered the boy shorts from Amazon, mostly because I hate going underwear shopping so online is just faster and simpler.  I ordered the size that I've been wearing for a couple years, the size that matched what I thought my hips were.

I got them, and tried them on...and I don't know if you've ever just tried on underwear, but it's sort of like trying on swimsuits.  I always think it's going to look like it does on the model or the mannequin, but then I remember it's on my lumpy body...

The boy shorts fit okay, sort of drooped a bit in the back where my booty is about five sizes too big to be "bootylicious."  Then I put pants on.

I sort of expected pantie lines because the legs aren't elastic, but I didn't get pantie lines at all. It felt like I was way more covered than normal, like I had shorts on under my shorts.

What I like to think I
look like.

And let me tell you, every time I used the loo, I felt a little naughty, especially at work, because wearing those shorts feels like I'm actually wearing jammies under my clothes.  Since I don't often feel all that naughty, this is sort of a thrill for me.

How sad is my life?

I will say this:  Either I've lost some weight I'm not aware of, or my hips aren't quite as large as I thought because these shorts are really loose and when I buy them again I'll have to get a size smaller.  Another win!

Bigger fun, I put on the black ones and managed one day to coordinate them with a black bra.  Hubby was impressed, although not exactly the way I thought he'd be.  His comment:  "Are you trying out for the part of the first dead body in a horror movie?"

"I'm sorry?"  says I.

"It's always the hot chick in matching underwear that gets killed first," says he.

Good save. That's why we've stayed together almost 28 years.

All in all, this time out, change is good.  Good, comfortable, and a tiny bit naughty!



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