I'm deep in final edits for "Superhero in Superior" (Due out November 14!!!) So if you don't hear from me for a while that's what I'm doing. When you're a self published author and you set a release date for a book and then you don't write the book...well, then you have to lock yourself in your office and not come out until it's done or you can't stand the smell of yourself, whichever comes first.
But I had to share this with you: This past week I started going back to Xperience Fitness after not going since April because, well, of course, I was exercising outside.
Sure. Which is why I gained seven pounds since April.
At this pace I will truly be my own Thanksgiving Day float in two years.
Anyway, I decided swimming was a good idea since I'm having serious issues with my right foot and my knees have always been a bother. So in addiction to getting my 12000 steps a day, I thought I'd add some pool time a few days a week.
Let's talk about what it takes to get me into the pool. First, I need a swimsuit I feel comfortable in. That's not likely. The last suit I really liked was six sizes ago. Now I'm in some cobbled together tops and bottoms, and the bottoms don't fit right. And I hate having that much of my leg showing. But then I discovered something amazing...SWIM SHORTS!
I know, now swim shorts have been around forever. But these are LONG swim shorts. they go nearly to my knee! Apparently surfers wear them. So that makes it cool, right?
Okay, me with more hair, less clothing coverage,
and about 90% less body fat.
One problem: I couldn't find plain black swim shorts to go with my patterned tops. The best I could do Was a pair that has sort of a snakeskin print on the side. Which really clashes with my black white polka dot top.
Which would matter, except I'm in a pool at 1 in the afternoon with people who...let's just say...make me look a little less awkward comparatively speaking.
Well, until I add that one other thing: The swim cap. I need to protect my lovely pink (expensive) hair color. So I figured wearing a swim cap would keep the chlorine/salt water off my head. (Spoiler...it doesn't.) I couldn't find a plain black cap so I wound up with a red cap.
Let's review: I'm in a red swim cap, a flowing black and white polka dot top (that really isn't all the flowing once I cram my body into it) and swim shorts with a snakeskin print and legs that cover my thighs like I'm out of the 1920's.
Very, very sexy.
Whatever. I don't care. I want to be comfortable, I want to protect my hair, and I want to swim some laps and take off some weight. The fashion police, as always, can go pound sand.
So I'm back at the gym, in the pool, which I actually have not used up until now. At the far end of the pool is the sauna. A dry sauna, so the signs tell me. I doubt I'll ever go in there. Outside the sauna door is a bench. I was doing laps and didn't give the bench a thought at first until I started seeing guys coming out of the sauna and sitting on it. I looked around and realized that the pool was full, sort of, there are three lanes and three people were swimming. Now, it is common in gyms such as this to share a lane with someone if neither of you is a splashy swimmer (Yeah, guy in the way too small swimsuit with the hand paddles, I'm looking at you). I'm not a splashy swimmer, I tend to swim then walk and so on. So I thought I'd offer to share my lane with one of these guys.
But that's when I noticed something.
Now, OBVIOUSLY I'm not wearing my glasses in the pool. That would just make me look odd, right? So my eyesight isn't exactly 20/20, but up close I do okay. And here's what I notice about the guys coming out of the sauna: They all look like superheroes.
|THERE'S NOT ENOUGH ROOM IN THE SAUNA!|
Now I'm thinking, okay, it's two guys who just happen to be sort of buff (way more buff than anyone
I've seen in this gym before) so what?
And then the door opens....and out comes...
Seriously! Thor walked out of the sauna. Granted, instead of a hammer he was carrying a three ring binder. (Thor...doing homework in the sauna. That's a mind bender.) But that guy was ABSOLUTELY THOR.
So now, well now I have a huge reason to go back to the gym. I need to see what other superheroes are in that sauna!
If Batman shows up...I hope it's the Christian Bale Batman, not the Ben Affleck Batman. Because...ew.