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Saturday, November 19, 2011

No point crying over milk drunk straight from the jug.

I'm taking a quick break from the Elsie book to share a little reality check with you all.  Lest you think that I've become too cool to laugh at myself...I have to share this story with you.

Last weekend Hubby and Peaches went to Nashville for big fun and Skippy, of course, spent the weekend ignoring me.  Which meant, for us moms, I had a blessed weekend of NO PEOPLE in my house.  I tidied up the house and settled in for a long weekend of writing...and napping.  But mostly writing.

Somewhere along the way, I got a bit of a headache.  That will happen when the fumes from the 86 candles I light when I write get to me. So I headed to the kitchen to get some Advil.  (I use the trademarked name because I can't spell Ibuprofen.) 

Now, ladies, we've all been in this position:  you JUST finished the dishes and really, the last thing you want to do is create more dirty dishes.  No problem, I thought to myself, I'll just pop the pills in my mouth and drink some milk straight from the gallon jug.  Save a dish and I'm back to weekend of writing and napping...but mostly writing.

Don't judge me on the drinking out of the milk jug.  You know you do it.

So I popped three tablets into my mouth, hoisted the milk jug up and took a swig.

Something funny happened, though.

See, I put three tablets in my mouth.  the milk sort of rushed out of the jug too quickly.  I wound up choking...spewing milk all over, and...was left with two tablets in my mouth.

Where was that third tablet?

Well, of course I swallowed it, right?  RIGHT?

Wrong.

Nope, I held up the milk jug and there it was...sitting at the bottom of the gallon jug, the orange coloring floating away from the tablet like Easter egg dye.

I toyed with the idea of not fishing it out.  Who would know?  I'm alone, no one else saw this, by the time anyone else pours themselves a glass of milk, the tablet will have dissolved.  given how much is put into our foods in the way of chemicals and hormones, who would notice a single Advil?

That thought lasted about fifteen seconds and, resigned to what I had to do, I got the colander out.  And the two big popcorn bowls because no one popcorn bowl is big enough to hold a FULL GALLON OF MILK.  and I poured the milk out until the Advil floated out.

So there I was, two big bowls of milk sitting on the counter.  now what?  I don't own a funnel that will successfully get a gallon of milk from a big bowl  into the narrow neck of a plastic gallon jug.  (But yes, I did ponder doing just that by sort of aiming the bowls over the jug.  A better plan would have been to just pour the milk on the floor and let the cats drink it.)

I do have a pitcher, that holds almost a gallon.  So I fetched that, poured the milk into that, and then...yes, then I did the dishes.

Moral of the story?

When you have a headache and you don't want to dirty a glass, just gag it down dry.  Saves time and dishpan hands!

And now, I'm back to Elsie.  20000 words this weekend.  I MUST HAVE THIS BOOK WRITTEN by Thursday.

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