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Sunday, June 1, 2014

This is not good for my rage.

Good morning!

My kids will tell you that I'm an angry driver.  When they were young they'd have to explain to their friends

that no, I'm not yelling at anyone in the car, I'm yelling at other drivers.

It's not that I think I'm the best driver on the road.  I don't.  It's just that I feel there are a few things every driver should be doing and when they aren't, then they are MORONS!  

The list is simple:

1)  Use your directionals when you're making a lane change or a turn.
2)  Drive at a steady speed.  If you're a slow driver, that's okay. Then drive slowly.  Don't drive slowly and then speed up when you realize everyone is passing you and you feel like a dork.  
3)  If you're not willing to drive ten MPH over the speed limit, for the LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY, STAY OUT OF THE LEFT LANE!
4)  If you insist on putting on your makeup, talking on your phone, or texting, that's fine.  I'm not going to tell you how to live.  But if I'm late to work, or can't make a turn, or get in a crash because you can't get your crap together BEFORE you get in the car and therefore you are overcompensating by DRIVING MORE SLOWLY AND TAKING UP THE ENTIRE ROAD, then yes, I'm going to yell at you out of my car window.

Well, this past week, on several different driving occasions, I realized there's one more thing I have to add to the list.  And it's so stupid, I can't believe people are actually doing this on the road, but this week it's happened often enough that I have to put it on the list.

THE LIGHT IS GREEN:  WHY ARE YOU BRAKING FOR A GREEN LIGHT?

Admittedly, since my car accident two years ago, I'm a far more cautious driver than I was and no one prior to the accident would have labeled me a maniac.  I tend to err on the side of caution at lights.  I try not to push faster at a yellow, I tend to stop.  But, come on, GREEN MEANS GO.

This past week, on no less than four separate moments, while behind four different cars at four different intersections I witnessed this.  People are braking, slowing down, and coming to a near stop at GREEN LIGHTS.

This is not good for my rage.

Who are these people?  Isn't like cluttered enough?  Don't we have enough stop lights and signs and idiot drivers who think they're driving extra careful because they're distracted or impaired and we wind up getting behind them and can't get around them because, since they can't be bothered to follow ALL the rules, they think they're making up for it by following a few rules EXTRA WELL.  (Hey, soccer mom on the phone while reading your kids' report cards...you AREN'T FOOLING ANYONE!)

Where was I? Oh yes:  Aren't there enough reasons to have to slow down or stop while driving, does a GREEN LIGHT actually have to be one of them?  Is there there we are as a society?  We stop for green lights and merrily drive through red ones?  I know we wanted to be a color blind society...I just didn't realize it was going to apply to traffic lights.

So, as a public service announcement, let me say this:  

Green means GO.

Red means STOP.

Yellow does NOT mean "punch it faster."

But mostly:  GREEN DOES NOT MEAN STOP!

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