My daughter is dating...and my house has never been cleaner!

Good evening!

So Peaches has her first boyfriend.  He's a very, very nice young man and we will call him Topeka because he's named after a city, but I am not going to tell you which one for real.

When Skippy started dating and hanging out with his girlfriend May, I wasn't all that worried about a lot of things.  I had no issues strolling into his room when they were watching a movie or something and announcing that there would be NONE OF THAT! I get along with May very well and have no issue saying and being exactly what I mean to say and be.

They are really this sort of couple...

But Topeka is a different person.  First off, he's a boy.  And Peaches has, in her teen years, become that mysterious thing all teen girls become when they stop talking to their parents and when everything is "FINE!"  (Throw in an eye roll and you can see her expression.  Throw in Barry Manilow music turned up WAY SUPER LOUD and you have me at fifteen.)  I mean, there are times she says she's staying at her friend's house and I ask her if she's actually going to her friend's house because her wishes her life, she has told us many times, was a John Hughes movie. 

But since I'm a mom, I'm convinced this is
what I'm coming home to...

So while Topeka is very polite and very nice, it is a struggle for me to not run into Peaches' room and yell, "HAND CHECK!"

Other than introducing Peaches to the wide world of Quentin Tarrantino movies  (something I wasn't quite ready for but something that was going to happen sooner rather than later anyway)  Topeka has been quite the nice boyfriend.  He's a little older, but he's very thoughtful, and he even sat through one of Peaches' really awful horror movies  (She is a delicate flower who enjoys films where monsters attack people at random.)  Still, I worry when they are standing in front of the house, or sitting in his car in front of the house, or whatever, because I know, I just know they are going to do something that is going to just be uncomfortable for me to know about.

So, to put my mind at ease and to combat what I know is teen hormones run amok in my own home...I make very sure I'm home when they are in the house and I'm doing something that is either noisy or embarrassing or both.  No way is there going to be any nookie in this building!

It started easily enough.  They were home, listening to some music.  Her door was open.  And I had, had, had to do the dishes.  WE don't have a dishwasher, so doing the dishes is a long, drawn out process that involves a lot of banging around, a lot of talking to the cats loudly, and a lot of singing because who doesn't sing when they're doing the dishes?

Vacuuming came next.  We have four cats.  We have to vacuum a lot.  Not my fault her bedroom is the only one with carpet and therefore gets done when we vacuum the rest of the house.

I find changing out the candles in all the candle holders to be an excellent thing to do.  It involves me walking past her door about a dozen times to get to my office where I keep all my Partylite candles and gifts. (Click here to shop on my site!)

Then I dusted.  I dusted the crap out of my house.  And what goes better with dusting than singing?  Oh, NOTHING!

But once the house is clean and the candles are changed out...NOW WHAT?

And that's when it hit me:  What's the worst, most libido crushing image anyone can have?

Fat woman sweating!

And so my friends, I now hit the Wii Fit every time Topeka is over.  See, our Wii shares a wall with Peaches' room.  Which means, while they are sitting there watching a movie, I'm adding to ten with my hips or hitting the ski jump and I'm doing it...you guessed it...noisily!

I find yoga to be the best hormone inhibitor...what's more disturbing than thinking about a large woman doing yoga poses?  While groaning.....and laughing?  And cheering herself on?  NOTHING!

So it's a win/win.  Peaches and Topeka are behaving themselves, and I'm getting my house cleaned and my fat jiggled.

Wonder what I'll do when the weather warms up and they can be outside for more than ten minutes without freezing to death?

Like Scarlett O'Hara, I will worry about THAT another day!  who knows...maybe winter will last forever this time!

New Year's Resolutions: Day Four update

Hello all!

I'm pretty excited about work.  I've just been given the task of refiling every order ever made at Dunder Mifflin since 2004.  Instead of filing by customer's last name, I've been told I must now file by order number.

Sounds tedious and awful doesn't it?

Keep this in mind:  I get to work in the shop.  Which means I am in the one place in the building where Elsie W doesn't like to go...unless she's headed over to the neighbor's soda machine to scam a cheap can of Mountain Dew.  (Funny, I wasn't aware that Mountain Dew was part of the Atkins diet.)

Since we are at the end of day four, I thought I'd update you on how my resolutions are doing.

I have taken a vitamin every day.

I haven't been to Gold's yet...but my bag is packed for tomorrow and I have a class on Saturday, which means I'll get my two shots in.

The Wii Fit...well, it's early yet.  I may not actually get three in this week...but next week is a for sure as I look at what I have going in the AM and PM.

My water consumption is up.  My candy consumption is way down.  And I managed to find a microwave lunch I actually like.  (AND it's vegetarian!)  Healthy Choice 100% Natural Asian Pot stickers.

I hate myself for loving you.

It's spicy.  It's yummy.  It's got brown rice in it which is my new favorite thing to eat.  And...if you're curious about tofu, but not quite ready to make it at home, this has tiny bits of the powerful curd in it.  Enough to say, "Hey, I can eat tofu!"  but not enough to spend three days in the ladies' room regretting tofu.

Switching gears...and I mean REALLY switching gears here...ladies, let me ask you something really gross:

Did you ever have a punctuation leakage so bad you had to throw out your dainties because you knew they would just never be clean again?  And yes, in a pinch I had to use a product I ALWAYS said I would ALWAYS avoid...hence the result was ALWAYS what happens with this product...ALWAYS.

In case you ALWAYS miss the point...
this product ALWAYS fails.

Just askin'.  (Hey, I made no resolutions to keep the yuck factor out of this blog!)

So anyway, that's my update.  I'm golden on the vitamin thing, still okay on the gym thing, delaying a week on the Wii.  The office is still fairly clutter free, although I do have a picture to hang and some Christmas candles to put away.  The facial hair...well, that's more of a "down the road thing."

Hey, I've destroyed resolutions in way shorter than four days.  I'm very encouraged!

Now your New Year's is complete...

Happy New Year!

For those of you who have already rung in 2012, I have one question:  Do we have floating cars yet?

No?

Bummer.

Okay, so this year I decided to break my resolutions list into two lists:  I have a writing list and a rest of my life list.  This is my resolution list for my real life:

In 2012 I resolve to:

1)  Take a multi vitamin every day.

I don't take pills well.  Except for my arthritis pain killers I forget to take stuff regularly.  Makes you wonder how I managed to have only two kids.

2)  Read 12 books.

That's about how many I read this year.  While one book a month doesnt' seem like much, I have resolved to write a lot this year, so reading might get pushed out of the way.  My Shelfari account keeps reminding me I've fallen well behind my reading production of 2010. 

3)  Go to Gold's at least 2x per week, and the Wii 3x. 

The goal is three for the gym, but we all know that I'm truly lame.  However, HUBBY got me a yoga mat for Christmas.  This means I MUST take the yoga mat requiring class on Saturday mornings.  So that's one trip there already in the books.

4)  Do something about that little facial hair problem.

Maybe I can get a two for one with some circus woman or something, but darn it all, this is the year I regain my girlish face.

5)  Every time I buy a book, CD, piece of clothing, I donate an old one to a charity resale shop.

STOP THE CLUTTER!  Actually, this resolution may prove helpful in the opposite direction.  I may simply stop buying new stuff because I'm attached to the stuff I have.

So there you go, your New Year's celebrations are now complete.  It's a new year, a new page.  Let's see how well I do.  First test will be that AM multivitamin tomorrow.  Egads.

Happy New Year all!

Laundry List Friday: Top five things I've learned working third shift!

Hello all!

So as most of you know, I made what some would see to be a rather stupid career move recently.  I quit a job that had normal hours, paid holidays, and a good hourly wage for a 3rd shift job at a convenience store.  The trade off, I can tell you, went far deeper than just getting health insurance for myself and the kids.  Someday, when I'm feeling very brave, I'll actually share a laundry list of why I quit the job.

But that's not why I'm here today.  Today I want to share with you, now that I've completed nearly three weeks on 3rd shift, the odd and interesting things I've learned about myself and the night job I now work.

5)  Turns out...I just like staying up late!

I thought I was a night owl.  I've worked third shift before, part time, and it wasn't generally a problem.  However, now that I'm doing it full time, I realize that I'm not a worker at night...I just like lying on the couch watching TV.


4)  Forget trying to work out a sleep schedule...when exactly can I take off my bra?

Okay, ladies in the audience...how many hours in a day do you typically wear your bra?  14, 16, 18?  Right.  Because, what...you take them off at night when you go to bed.

18 hours might have been good enough for Jane Russell, but I'm really in need of something more like a 23.5 hour bra.

See here's the thing I'm struggling with:  I get home, I can't take off the bra, because I'm either going to Gold's  (Yes, believe it or not, I'm still dragging my sleep deprived fanny over there in the mornings) or I'm doing my 30 (ish) minutes on the Wii.  Can't take off the bra then.  So when I go to bed, about 8-9 AM, (and I'm missing the Bob and Brian show  which kills me) I know that when I get up, not only will my children be here, but they will, undoubtedly, have friends along.  Since Skippy typically has his new lady friend over, I really shouldn't be wandering around with bed head and no bra.  And, by the time the house is clear of all the non biologically related children I feed endless streams of pizza to, it's time to go back to work!  So I get the ten minutes for the shower, and that's it?  That's can't be healthy.  Can it?
3)  When they ask if you can stand for 8 hours, they really mean it.

There are two chairs in the store where I work.  I am allowed to use neither.  The only sitting I can do is in the bathroom...during my 4 minutes of break time a night.  I'm supposed to get two 10 minute breaks, but come on, reality is reality.  There's just too much to do.  So there's no sitting.  I think that's been my biggest adjustment.  Simply not sitting.

2)  There are a lot of different kinds of cigarettes...and no one who buys them actually calls them by what they are named.

Before I go into detail here, let me just say that while I'm not a smoker, I do defend smokers' rights to smoke in designated outdoor areas, and in businesses where the business owner wants to allow smoking.

I've bought and sold  lot of things in my day...but as a non smoker, I've not ever really been in touch with a lot of cigarette purchases.  Now, standing behind a cash register, I have a multi layered shelf hanging over my head that is about nine feet long, four feet wide, and has spaces for no less than forty different (?) brands, flavors, lengths, and BOX TYPES of cigarettes.  Think a Camel is a Camel is a Camel?  Nope.    Ya got the Camel blue, the Camel regular, the Camel 100's, the Camel in the special two pack deal, Camels in soft packs, Camels in a box.  (Don't get me started on Marlboros. Last night I counted 17 different types of Marlboros alone.)

See that number 72?  Yeah, that would be the number of different types of that one brand!

Then there's the chewing tobacco, the roll your own, the cigars.  And here's the kicker:  The smokers DO NOT ASK FOR WHAT THEY WANT BY WHAT THEY WANT.   Let's say someone wants a pack of Marlboro Ultra light menthol100's in the soft pack.  I know where those are and if they would ASK FOR THAT, we would be fine.  But no, I've gotten everything from"gimme a pack of Marl ultra mint hundreds."  Well, there's a pack, which to us non smokers has always meant a PACK of cigarettes that James Dean wrapped up in the sleeve of his T-shirt.  But to smokers, a PACK and a BOX are two completely different things and OH MY SWEET LORD DON'T GET THEM WRONG.

The guy who is training me is a smoker.  He's of little help when it comes to this because 1)  He knows all the cigarettes and where they are and 2) He knows all the shorthand.  Oh and 3)  He can understand the customers when they talk, even the ones who come in like the walking dead at 3 in the morning because it's typically the same customers over and over and they come in every night for a pack, or a box, every night.  (again, if you're going to make the trip, why not just by the carton and save yourself the gas and a little money on the cigs?)

1)  THE BED NEVER GETS MADE!

Those of you who read this blog frequently, you know that one of the things I'm fairly insane about is the making of beds.  I cannot leave the house without making my bed and I fight the urge every single day to go into my children's rooms and make the bed.

But when Hubby gets up at 5 and I'm getting home at six and going to bed about 9 and by the time I get up I've got way too much to do to even look at the bed, well, it's not getting made.  And it makes me a little bit crazy to know it.

So there you go.  The top five things I've learned working third shift.  And, as I've said recently:  I am not where I want to be...but I am in a better place than I was!

Waiting for Wii-venge.

Good afternoon!

Actually, it's good morning for me.  Since switching to third shift I've spent the last couple weeks trying to figure out how to configure my days.  At this point, since it's summer, I'm thinking sleep right away in the AM, then, when the kids roust out of bed (about noon or so) get up and be conscious in case either of them want to, you know, talk to me.  (I know, I'm surprised I got that out with a straight face too!)

So since I am still looking for a good time to get to Gold's  (and I do like that 7 AM crowd.  Motivated, not that social, and not that big.  I can actually find parking!)  I've dusted off the Wii fit for those mornings when, arriving home from work, my feet and body hurt too much to contemplate a trip on the treadmill.  (Who knew I would have so much trouble being on my feet for 8 hours?  In a row?  Okay, who isn't surprised at all?  Yeah, a bigger show of hands that time.)

Since I do stand a lot, and use my hands quite a bit...oh, and get more than 11000 steps in during the course of a shift  (and why haven't I lost about 10 pounds yet?  I'm not eating on these shifts...come on metabolism, KICK IN ALREADY!)  I am pretty sore.  Moving out of my usual work out on Wii Fit  (you know, about 20 shame filled rounds of Ski Jump followed by a couple of super hulas and then a couple advanced step with an Island bike thrown in if I have time) I thought I'd give the yoga a try.

Admittedly, Yoga is something I've always thought was a good idea, and a lot of fun to think about.  In reality however, I can't get past the giggles when I think of pose names.  "Downward facing dog?"  Who isn't laughing at that?  Bonus, I'm really, REALLY not that steady or flexible.  I'm really built more for staying solidly in one place.  (And thanks to my darling daughter Peaches, you can see a picture of me on Face book.  Believe it or not, I thought black was slimming!)

So I fired up the Wii yoga.  Picked a trainer  (the guy) and started with the first exercise...deep breathing.

Stand and breath deeply.

Really?

This is part of a workout?

OH I CAN DO THIS!

But not for 30 minutes I can't, so I decided to try a couple other things.  I like "cobra" mostly because I can lie down.  Some I'm pretty good at, some not so much.

So today, I decided to hit yoga again, and hit it hard because my back really hurt.  I found a pose that looked like it would stretch out my back, and honestly I forget what it was called, but doesn't matter.  I was, shall we say, fairly unmotivated to participate fully.  Actually my feet were really in pain, so I figured I'd like work on that back stretching pose, you know...sitting down on the Wii board.

After 8 hours on my feet, you expect me to do this pose standing up?  I don't think so!

Well, there's no fooling the Wii.  Okay, it might think I'm 24 one day and 62 the next.  It might even give me credit for the free run when really all I did was shake the handheld controller.  (not that I would ever do THAT.  THAT would be wrong...I would NEVER think about something like THAT)  BUT when it comes to yoga poses, apparently the Wii is right on it.

So I sat down on the board and made sure I leaned on either my right or left butt cheek, depending on which side my virtual trainer told me to be standing.  The Wii noted, loudly, right off that my weight was "significantly different than the last time....do I wish to proceed?"

Sure.  With my legs stretched out in front of me, not weighing in on the board, maybe I'll "Burn" more calories.

So I leaned to the right and I leaned to the left and I tried to keep my balance within that yellow circle.

You know what? 

SITTING DOWN I AM A YOGA MASTER!

Yep, I managed, through my complete lack of standing up, to achieve "yoga master" level.

Now I would celebrate this except for two things:

1)  It's probably wrong to cheat...even on the Wii.

I can see you cheating!  And when the Wii body test tells you you're 90 and you've gained 30 pounds...think of me!

2)  I'm sure my Wii will figure it out and tomorrow, just for revenge, it will say my age is 75.

Maybe I'll hide at Gold's until the Wii settles down.  I like the pool.  The pool is a good place to hide out from something electronic.

I'm a Wii bit crippled today, and I think I just called myself a bad name.

Good afternoon!

Wow, do I feel like an underachiever today!  Seriously.  New Girl and I are being very quiet in our separate offices, neither working and neither doing much of anything.  So of course, when Dee called I was overjoyed to talk to her!

A side note:  Dee has lost 21 pounds since August!  YAY DEE!

Now, while talking to Dee and growing very jealous of her success, I realized that even though I haven't lost a measurable amount of weight (Though I am wearing heavier clothing so I get to subtract more from the total on the scale at work, which gives me a flicker of encouragement), I have been far more faithful in moving my carcass around in an exercise sort of mode.  In fact, my legs have been pretty sore the last couple of days, and I wasn't sure why.

Until I thought about it.

Wednesday I worked out HARD on the Wii.  I did the ten minute step thing where you just step up and down on the board.  You're supposed to do 800 steps in 10 minutes.  I, of course, saw this as a challenge to beat because hey, I'm not that out of shape, right?

Apparently, I am.

I managed to do almost 1200 steps in that 10 minute time frame.  I ignored the smooth female voice admonishing me to slow down, keep a steady beat, stay with the beat that was ticking away. "No way, Voice,"  I said, "I'm going to beat this game and show it how in shape I am!"

Result?  I am all but crippled.  My left calf muscle is so tight and sore,  I nearly fall over every time I get out of my office chair.  Let's add this to my already full force heel pain and you can picture how graceful I am moving from a sitting position to a standing position.  I should actually try out for that commercial where the older folks can't get out of their recliners without some hydraulic lift.  Or maybe I could get a part in one of those scooter commercials.  Or, I could always be that woman shouting, "I've fallen!  And I can't get up!" 

I suppose I should admit to something else as long as we're on the topic of the Wii.  I actually called my Mii a bad name.  I was doing the hula hoop thing, you know where you have to move your hips in a circular motion and every so often try to "catch" a hula hoop that someone else has tossed.  You do this by leaning to one side when the hoop comes toward your Mii.

It looks simple enough...until the sadists throw a hoop at Mii.

The problem is there's a certain amount of timing needed for your Mii to catch the hoop and if you don't keep your hips moving you'll drop the hoops you're already spinning and, well, that won't give you good results and the Wii will probably age you by 25 years.  So I work really hard on this game.  It's supposed to tighten your core, after all.  (A nice by product of something I see more as a challenge since Peaches is really, really good at this one.)

So Wednesday I was hula hooping like crazy, but I didn't seem to be able to catch any of the hoops.  At one point I leaned over so far, I fell off the board.  I got up, but not before my Mii dropped all her hoops.  That's when I let the colorful insult fly.

From the kitchen, Peaches yelled, "MOM!  Don't call yourself that!"

I was going to tell her that I wasn't calling myself anything...until I realized that I actually was.  See, your Mii is you...on the Wii.  And my Mii, except for the fact that she's way more adventurous than I am, and thinner  (there is a limit to how fat you can make your Mii) does look like me.  So, I basically called myself a bad name...That can't be healthy.

Okay, score one for Gold's.  At least at Gold's I don't have to watch myself exercising, and therefore I'm not tempted to call myself anything.

And on that note, I wish you all a great weekend!

Wii aged Mii

Good afternoon!

So, the other day, after being declared by my Wii to be 10 years younger than I am, I decided I was going to Wii more.  Hey, Wii is more fun, you get immediate feedback on how successful you are, and, biggest bonus, Wii tells you you're 10 years younger than you are.

I made the conscious decision to do the Wii in the morning, before everyone else gets up.  In my house...well, that's 5:15 AM.

Yep, you read that right.  5:15 AM.  That means, if I'm going by my normal night schedule, if I go to bed after the second episode of Friends, which ends at midnight, I get a full five hours of sleep.  That's with a 15 minute time to fall asleep built in.  Even with the help of Tylenol PM, I don't fall asleep that fast.  And sleep deprivation, they keep telling me, is a bad thing.  I don't know how bad it can be, though.  I haven't slept more than 7 hours any night of my life since 1992 and it hasn't affected me one bit.  NO, I DO NOT SUFFER FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION!  I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT!

Getting up this early to exercise also forces me to ignore the fact that I loathe, loathe, LOATHE getting up in the morning!  I love the early morning hours, but I usually love them more when I'm in the process of going to bed rather than getting up.  I am not one of those people who gets lost in the magic of a sunrise.  I look out the window and say, "Well, I obviously got up too early since I'm up before the SUN!" 

Nonetheless, I set my alarm for 5:15. My plan was to get up at 5:15, and do a half an hour, which would put me done with the work out at 5:45, about the same time Hubby gets out of the shower and the "Wake up Skippy" time begins.

Those of you familiar with the Wii Fit Plus programs know that this is, of course, impossible.  First of all, you have to do the body test.  That takes, I know now, five minutes.  Then you have all the time between the little games you play for the "ready set go" you get from Wii Fit plus.  An actual half hour workout on Wii Fit Plus, unless you're doing the Advanced Island Biking, and you get lost for exactly 30 minutes (It once took me over an hour to find all those stupid flags.) will take about and hour.  It just does.

Overachiever. 

Then let's add the 20 minutes it took me to actually rouse myself to the point of standing up. (My cell phone alarm clock has the most annoying ring tone...it's like little bluebirds in Mr. Rogers' neighborhood.  You'd think the rage factor in me would make a snooze alarm obsolete.  Not so.)  Then we also have to add the  five minutes it took me to find all the remotes I needed to get the Wii Fit fired up.    By 5:45 I started the body test.  Which is when I realized that doing something like the Wii Fit Plus in the early hours of the morning, before the brain has plugged in to the rest of the body, was a big mistake.  See, the Body test doesn't just score on your balance.  No, those games also include brain activity.  Today I was supposed to look at a list of several numbers and bend my knees when the largest number was in the middle.  And then the Wii covered up some of the numbers. Oh, and I get marked down if my balance wavers.

Okay, fully conscious and after three cups of coffee, I'm barely able to bend my knees, keep my balance, and recognize random numbers.  At 5:45 AM, still in my jammies, and already running behind, I was doomed.    I'm fairly certain I slipped off the Wii board at one point.

Wii is a gentle trainer, however.  "The memory balance game isn't exactly your cup of tea, is it?"

All I could think is that now I wanted a cup of tea.  Or some strong coffee.  Or just a caffeine IV.

After the Body Test, the Wii gives you your body's actual age.  I always look forward to this, because the last time I did it, I was 32, a full ten years younger than my actual age. 

Lights, camera...

52.

I'd aged 20 years in the span of three days.

I know starting a new workout routine is tough, but really, I aged 20 full years?  Hey, I'd even lost 8 ounces!  come on Wii! 

I'm going back to Gold's this afternoon.  At least there I don't randomly age a decade while I'm on the treadmill.

Will I try Wii-ing in the early morning?  Probably.  At least after the emotional destruction that was the Body test, I managed a decent 30 minutes which was actually 40.  I started out the day feeling a bit better about myself.  Who knows?  Maybe I even lost another shoe size!

If Wii Fit says I'm 32, who am I to quibble?

Good morning!

So yesterday I was going to go to Gold's.  Really, I was.  Honest.  (I can hear Dee grinding her teeth. Now that she works there, I know she's looking for me....LOL!)  But I got home and realized that it was the first time in ages the family was going to eat dinner in the same building.  (Note, not at the table or at the same time, that would be asking too much.)  So I decided instead of going to Gold's, I'd make a nice spaghetti supper and do the Wii Fit.

We got the Wii back at Christmas when I was going to cancel my Gold's membership  (Little did I realize that those 24 month contracts are IRON CLAD and only death or dismemberment will get me out of it.)  and I figured, hey, I have a treadmill and now the Wii...I don't need a gym!

I was very faithful on Wii fit for a couple months.  Every night. 30 minutes.  And then the Winter Olympics came on and face it...watching ACTUAL ski jumping is easier than doing that ski jumping balance game on Wii Fit.

So then it was a long time before I got back on.  Now, the problem with not doing Wii Fit on a regular basis is that Wii Fit REMEMBERS.  Wii Fit will gently tell you "Sarah, it's been 200 days" since you last worked out on Wii Fit."  Yeah, well, I did one work out, back in July I think, and didn't like the scolding.  So the Wii fit went back under the coffee table for 112 days.  How do I know it was that long?

Because I got back on the Wii fit yesterday and that's what it told me.  "Sarah, it's been 112 days since you last worked out on Wii Fit."  I tried to explain water aerobics and Gold's, but Wii Fit doesn't care.

I did the body test before my little work out because, well, I don't mind the body test.  I have relatively decent balance, and while I'm over weight and my body fat percentage would pass a math test in most high schools, I do okay with the body test. 

Except for the actual age thing.

You know that one...that's where the Wii Fit slams this big number on your Mii  (that's what you call your you in Wii Fit.  You get to build yourself on the screen, and then you make your Mii do all the games.)  and this is your "real age."  It's based on your body test, weight, fat content, that sort of thing.  I generally test older than I am, or near my age.

Not yesterday.

Yesterday Wii Fit said I was 32.  And then it said, "You're in pretty good shape."

NO ONE has said that about me since 1999.  I'm in pretty good shape!  See?  The Wii Fit said so!  The Wii Fit said I'm 32! 

Who am I to quibble?

The Wii Fit:  The nice personal trainer!

Gold's might want to take note.  Instead of putting posters of impossibly fit people smiling in the middle of an aerobics-punch-the-air-while-you're-riding-a-bike class, maybe you should put up happy notes like "Hey, you're actually 10 years younger than your age.  You're in pretty good shape.  You didn't fall off the board thingy that's an inch off the ground, so your balance is okay."

It's called positive re enforcement.  And I believe in it!