Waiting for Wii-venge.

Good afternoon!

Actually, it's good morning for me.  Since switching to third shift I've spent the last couple weeks trying to figure out how to configure my days.  At this point, since it's summer, I'm thinking sleep right away in the AM, then, when the kids roust out of bed (about noon or so) get up and be conscious in case either of them want to, you know, talk to me.  (I know, I'm surprised I got that out with a straight face too!)

So since I am still looking for a good time to get to Gold's  (and I do like that 7 AM crowd.  Motivated, not that social, and not that big.  I can actually find parking!)  I've dusted off the Wii fit for those mornings when, arriving home from work, my feet and body hurt too much to contemplate a trip on the treadmill.  (Who knew I would have so much trouble being on my feet for 8 hours?  In a row?  Okay, who isn't surprised at all?  Yeah, a bigger show of hands that time.)

Since I do stand a lot, and use my hands quite a bit...oh, and get more than 11000 steps in during the course of a shift  (and why haven't I lost about 10 pounds yet?  I'm not eating on these shifts...come on metabolism, KICK IN ALREADY!)  I am pretty sore.  Moving out of my usual work out on Wii Fit  (you know, about 20 shame filled rounds of Ski Jump followed by a couple of super hulas and then a couple advanced step with an Island bike thrown in if I have time) I thought I'd give the yoga a try.

Admittedly, Yoga is something I've always thought was a good idea, and a lot of fun to think about.  In reality however, I can't get past the giggles when I think of pose names.  "Downward facing dog?"  Who isn't laughing at that?  Bonus, I'm really, REALLY not that steady or flexible.  I'm really built more for staying solidly in one place.  (And thanks to my darling daughter Peaches, you can see a picture of me on Face book.  Believe it or not, I thought black was slimming!)

So I fired up the Wii yoga.  Picked a trainer  (the guy) and started with the first exercise...deep breathing.

Stand and breath deeply.

Really?

This is part of a workout?

OH I CAN DO THIS!

But not for 30 minutes I can't, so I decided to try a couple other things.  I like "cobra" mostly because I can lie down.  Some I'm pretty good at, some not so much.

So today, I decided to hit yoga again, and hit it hard because my back really hurt.  I found a pose that looked like it would stretch out my back, and honestly I forget what it was called, but doesn't matter.  I was, shall we say, fairly unmotivated to participate fully.  Actually my feet were really in pain, so I figured I'd like work on that back stretching pose, you know...sitting down on the Wii board.

After 8 hours on my feet, you expect me to do this pose standing up?  I don't think so!

Well, there's no fooling the Wii.  Okay, it might think I'm 24 one day and 62 the next.  It might even give me credit for the free run when really all I did was shake the handheld controller.  (not that I would ever do THAT.  THAT would be wrong...I would NEVER think about something like THAT)  BUT when it comes to yoga poses, apparently the Wii is right on it.

So I sat down on the board and made sure I leaned on either my right or left butt cheek, depending on which side my virtual trainer told me to be standing.  The Wii noted, loudly, right off that my weight was "significantly different than the last time....do I wish to proceed?"

Sure.  With my legs stretched out in front of me, not weighing in on the board, maybe I'll "Burn" more calories.

So I leaned to the right and I leaned to the left and I tried to keep my balance within that yellow circle.

You know what? 

SITTING DOWN I AM A YOGA MASTER!

Yep, I managed, through my complete lack of standing up, to achieve "yoga master" level.

Now I would celebrate this except for two things:

1)  It's probably wrong to cheat...even on the Wii.

I can see you cheating!  And when the Wii body test tells you you're 90 and you've gained 30 pounds...think of me!

2)  I'm sure my Wii will figure it out and tomorrow, just for revenge, it will say my age is 75.

Maybe I'll hide at Gold's until the Wii settles down.  I like the pool.  The pool is a good place to hide out from something electronic.