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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Pay no attention to the social networking site behind the curtain!

Good afternoon!

So I will admit, I have always been addicted to those silly quizzes that pop up every now and then.  You know the ones you get in your email, the ones that ask you if you like bacon bits or croutons. 

Since the Internet was invented, people have flooded other people's in boxes with these survey/quiz deals.  Some love them, some don't.

Well, those of you who don't love them, you can rejoice.  I haven't gotten one of those surveys in ages and there's a very good reason why:

Facebook is LOADED WITH SURVEYS and QUIZZES!

Oh happy day!  While I don't have to ponder whether or not I prefer croutons to bacon bits, I have learned the following about myself:

I have learned which character I am in several different TV shows.

I have learned what my heavy metal/stripper/country music/Star Wars/and Broadway name would be.

I am Alice Cullen from the Twilight movies, according to one survey.

I am Jacob Black  from Twilight in  another survey.

Most important, I am Indigo Montoya from "The Princess Bride."  BEST MOVIE EVER!

My favorite Harry Potter teacher is Dumbledore.

I have 51 friends who are confused about their gender.  ( For some reason, that one makes me laugh.)

While Facebook seems full of answers about all sorts of things, Facebook is sneaky.  Apparently a bunch of my friends have answered a bunch of questions about me...I can see the answers, but not who gave them.  So, in the interest of full disclosure, let me set the record straight for those of you who answered incorrectly.

I have been in a fist fight.

I have played strip poker.

I grind my teeth while I sleep.

I sing Britney Spears' songs when no one is around.

I have NO IDEA what a 'fist pound' is, but it sounds dirty, so someone has to tell me now!

I am NO LONGER a virgin, (Just ask my husband,  my two kids and the cast of medical characters that delivered them.)  and whoever put 'yes' as an answer for that either doesn't know what that word means or...well, there's really no other answer for that. 

Somehow my friends on Facebook don't think I drive too fast.  Skippy will tell you I'm a maniac.  Of course, Skippy also thinks I'm boring and uncool.  Skippy doesn't know much.  But both Skippy and Peaches have been in the car when I've gotten warnings from various officers.  My favorite was getting pulled over on my way home from church.  Skippy, then a youthful lad of about nine, did the math in his head as the officer was talking to me and blurted out, "That's sixteen over, mom!"

Yes, thank you, son. 

Where was I?  Oh yes, anyway, I love all the little quizzes and tests and top five lists and all that.  I can't actually start my day properly unless I've turned my iPod on shuffle and listed the first five songs that come up.  (Sometimes that takes a while, given the limited number of songs listed on Facebook, and how freakishly odd my iPod collection actually is.  Then I have to create my own listing with a picture and by the time I'm done, it's almost noon!  Good thing my JOB doesn't actually cut into my Facebook time!)

Anyway, one of the little quizzes I took recently made me laugh coffee right through my nose. 

Peaches took it first.  My darling daughter, it was a quiz made for her.  GANGSTA or NERD?

She prides herself on cultivating the perfect Nerd image. 

And sure enough, she took the quiz and came up something like 59% Nerd.

As expected, I thought, because she's way cooler than she thinks.  I should know.  I'm cool.

Really...I am!

So I took the quiz.  Because I'm cool like that.

The result?

86% GANGSTA!



Wait...what?

I knew I was cool...I had no idea! 

Guess this means it's time to dump the mom jeans and Princess Bride t-shirt and put on those super baggy jeans that you belt around just under your butt cheeks.  But it's okay, because now I'll get to wear REALLY BIG BAGGY SHIRTS...and I can say things like "ah ite?"  And "Yo momma"

Oh this is going to be AWESOME!  Wait, gangstas dont' say awesome.  They say...ummmmm...cool?  Neat?  23 skiddoo?

Whatever, Facebook says I'm gangsta!  I have to go shopping!  I need a hat!  I need a hat and a a piercing and a tattoo.

Later dudes...(is that something someone gangsta would say?  Well, maybe Barnes and Noble has a "Suburban Mom to Gangsta" dictionary.)

But first I have to find out which of my friends thinks I'm still a virgin.  Probably one of the 51 who are confused about their gender?

2 comments:

  1. OMG Sarah,,,,are you hilarious! I love it, you ROCK in my book you bad ass gangsta virgin!

    ReplyDelete
  2. YOU KNOW IT GIRLFRIEND! (See, That's gangsta, right?)

    ReplyDelete

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