I feel the need

I feel the need

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I must crush you!

Good afternoon all!

I'm hoping this finds you all someplace snug and warm and nice.  If you live where it's generally warm...enjoy!  If you live, like I do, in the northern realms...Spring will come!  Eventually!

Let me start off with a small rant today:

I AM SICK OF WINTER!  I am sick of my shoes always being wet.  Of my feet always being cold.  I am sick of shoveling my driveway approach in the evening only to have the city plows go through at night and fill it up again with heavy, dirty chunks of ice and snow!  I'm sick of my car so glazed in ice that I have to smack the doors just to open them.  I'm sick of my windows being frozen so I can't use drive ups, I have to walk in everywhere, thereby getting my shoes and feet more wet and more cold.

MOSTLY, I'm sick to DEATH of having to do the "penguin walk" over the ice rink that is my office parking lot because the building management is too cheap to plow when it snows, even if that involves an evening or a weekend.  They only plow during the day...you know, when cars are parked in the lot and people are walking in the lot.  The result is the lot is an uneven, rutted, frozen mess. 

Okay, enough of that.  I generally don't complain about winter, but I've got yet another evening of fun shoveling ahead of me before I drive into my driveway this evening. Yay me.

Now on to my reason for blogging today.

In our society, there are words we do not use because they are evil, hate filled words.  There are words we don't use because they are nasty.

I'd like to extend that to the women's locker room at Gold's.  There are some words that should never be spoken in there...and some conversations that should never be had.  Here is an actual conversation between two young, pretty, THIN girls in the locker room last night  (the fact that they were both blond only helps my story be more funny.)

Blond #1:  Oh I just love tacos!

Blond #2:  I know, right?

Blond #1:  Yeah, with that great greasy meat...you know, like ground beef.

Blond #2:  I know, right?

Blond #1:  I love cheese.  Melty, yummy cheese!

Blond #2:  I know, right?  Cheese is so good.

Blond #1:  I think like I'm going to you know, like get tacos tonight.  Maybe a lot of tacos 'cuz I'm like sooooo hungry!

Blond #2:  I know, right?  Working out makes me hungry. 

Blond #1:  So yeah, like tacos.  Maybe Taco Bell?

Blond #2:  I like tacos.

Blond #1:  Oh, but Taco Bell is like, not real meat, right?  Like only a little bit of meat and what, like fake?  But still, so good!

Blond #2:  Are we done working out?

Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, wanting to scream:  "SHUT UP!  THERE ARE FAT WOMEN TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT HERE!"

I stared at them.  Yes, I did.  I stared at them, sitting a foot away from me, talking about tacos.  I stared at them and suddenly I felt like Drago from that Rocky movie  (Cardio Cinema recently ran all the Rocky Movies.)  Suddenly I was this tall, sweaty, Russian boxer, and I was towering over them, saying, "I must crush you."
Go ahead Blondies...keep talkin'!
And, since I was just finished working out, I had the sweaty part down.

So my friends, I'd like to make a companion list of words to the already accepted list of words that are too vulgar or profane to utter, and I'd like to call it, (in honor of the late great George Carlin)


1)  Taco  (Taco Bell, Taco John's)

2)  Melty, melted

3)  fresh baked

4)  Ice cream, cream, creamy

5)  cheesy, cheese

6)  Butter, buttery

7)  Chocolate

Oh, and as for my quest in the Gold's Body challenge, my official weigh in was Saturday.  No weight loss...big surprise there.  But the shocking thing was I actually lost 12.5 inches from various portions of my body!  And not all them were parts I could suck in.  So that's something to be jazzed about, right?  I'm fat, but it's a far firmer fat!

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