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Friday, December 12, 2014

5 for Friday: These things happen to me so they won't happen to you!

Good morning!

When I started writing this blog a couple years ago, I did it for a couple reasons...as an outlet for my rants from time to time, as a commentary on everyday life...and as a way to disprove something I've heard all my life, "It can only happen to Sarah!"

Turns out...that last thing?  That might actually be true.  The past few weeks went a long way to convince me that some things just happen to me and no one else.  Here are five things that have happened to me recently.  Let's see if anyone else can sympathize.

5)  I'm not saying God's talking to me...but....

Two weeks ago I announced to people in my real life that in 2015 I was going to "do" a 5K.  This was something I was going to do in 2013, but after the car accident in 2012 I spent a lot of time in physical therapy and a deep funk and didn't bother to train.  The last two years have been rough on me physically and I've packed on some serious pounds.  But, the car accident is now settled and in my rear view mirror.  I'm starting to feel better and it's time to address my huge gut, butt, and chins.  So I was really excited to announce that I was actually going to work on myself enough to endure a 5k.  Maybe not running it, but for sure doing it.

Not one day after I made the announcement, I decorated my house for Christmas and in the process I somehow managed to really, really wreck my right knee.  Where it was simply a little gimpy from time to time before the last two weeks I've been seriously hobbled.  Yes, my workmates enjoy watching me try to find the one position I can walk in without pain.  And all I did was put a Nativity scene on my piano.  What the what? I'm starting to feel like maybe God just wants me to be fluffy.

4)  I'm not, I'm not, I'm NOT buying more candle holders...oh...wait...

Go ahead, you resist that face.
Ok, I gave up being a Partylite consultant because I couldn't control my addiction to all things candle.  Seriously, I have a closet full to exploding with candle holders and candles.  The joke around my social circle is that if we ever have a house fire, it'll be the BEST SMELLING house fire EVER.  

In an effort to slim down my collection, I've been giving away the pieces I don't use all the time, and I was doing really, really, really well.  Plus, while I have two parties a year, one of them I don't even get the hostess items.  I give that to someone at the party.  (If you're interested I have it the first Thursday in December, three years running now.  It's a blast.)

So you'd think I'd have almost nothing left, right?

Nope.  No, apparently this year I realized that even if I'm not getting it for free or at some ridiculous reduced price, I'm still going to buy it.  Which would explain the new menagerie I have of hedgehogs, owls, bunnies...and in January I'll have kittens.  Like I need more kittens in my life!

3)  And speaking of candle holders...

I was going to do a favor for two friends and this is what happened.
So pretty, so delicate, so will turn to dust if you
drop it.

My one friend was having a partylite party and my other friend was going to be the consultant, but couldn't do it on the date friend 1 wanted.  So hey, why not?  I have a bunch of current stuff...I'll do the party no problem.  One of the items I took along was a beautiful glass angel, one of a set of three.   I took the middle one along to show people.

In Candle Camp they taught us to raise things up, so if you go to a partylite party, you'll see things sitting atop boxes.  I put the middle angel, the one I brought along, on a box.  And then I put something else on the table.  Well, the table wasn't big enough so I nudged a few things around, one of those things being the box...with the angel on it.  

The angel wobbled...and then everything sort of went into slow motion...and then the angel hit the concrete floor...and turned into dust.  It didn't break.  It didn't shatter into small pieces.  It turned into DUST.

And oh yeah, Partylite doesn't sell these separately.  And I took the middle one, so look at the picture. the other two would look silly next to each other.

Kathy, my Partylite friend, saved the day, however, and I now have a complete set.  If you'd like to get in on Partylite fantasticness, check out her site by clicking here!  Tell her Sarah sent you.

2)  I keep forgetting I don't like them, that's why!

Last weekend Hubby and I headed to a very large store to buy a very important Christmas gift.  It took us several hours to wander the store because apparently we can't just walk in, get what we want, and walk out.  That would be silly.  (His words, not mine.)  So while he was checking out, I needed to rest my knee (see #5) and get a bite to eat.  The little food place in the store had a lunch special:  2 hot dogs, bag of chips and a drink, $2.50.  I thought that was a great deal, and then I could share with Hubby.  

Here's the thing: They didn't have trays or plates or carrying cases of any kind.  So the guy hands me two naked hot dogs on buns and I'm already carrying my purse and gripping tables and railings to keep pressure off my knee and now I have these two dogs in my hand and I have to pick up the chips and drink.  What do I do?  Well of COURSE I put ketchup on the dogs. which only makes them messier and I wind up with ketchup all over my hands, my purse, my drink.  Also, I can't find a place to sit down, so I'm leaning on a table when Hubby gets through check out and he looks at them and says, nope he's not hungry.  I bite into one of the dogs and realize it's the kind of hot dog I DON'T LIKE:  It's not a Kosher dog, or a natural casing dog.  Nope, it's a grey, dirty water dog that at this point just looks like a bloody finger.  For reasons I can't explain I forget every time that I don't like these.  And thusly, I tossed both dogs in the dumper and walked out, covered in ketchup, with my chips and drink.

1)  For one second I was rejoicing...

Wednesday was a good morning because I sat down at my desk and felt like my pants were a bit looser than normal.  AH!  Maybe this whole "staying off my feet" thing was the secret to weight loss after all!

Mid morning I took out the mail and then, as is my habit, I used the ladies room.

And that's when I realized I had NOT lost weight.

No, instead, I realized, having been at work nearly 4 hours, that I'd actually forgotten to pull up my zipper.  I'd hooked the hooks and buttoned the button, but nope, the zipper was fully in the DOWN position.  

Awesome.

So you tell me...this stuff happens to other people, right?  RIGHT?


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