Wednesday, April 6, 2011

REQUESTED REPOST! Quite possibly the MOST hilarious thing Hubby has ever said.

Good afternoon all!

Those of you who know me personally probably also know my Hubby.  He's tried very, very hard to stay out of this blog.  Today, officially, he's failed.

Hubby and I have a standing joke.  He says I married him becuase he made me laugh.  I said I married him for his money.  He says "Then I had you fooled, didn't I?"  And we laugh and laugh and laugh.  And pay some bills, ignore a few others, and laugh some more.

Yep, I married a comedian.  I married a guy who is ALWAYS "on."  His specialty is puns.  Seriously, I've been known to tell a funny story a time or two  (really?)  but my Hubby is always on the prowl for a good...bad...pun.  For the record, I'm not a huge fan of puns.  He also does impressions.  His "Reverand Jim" from the old TV show "Taxi" is so good, it creeps me out a little.

Most of all, he and I both see the ridiculousness of the world in which we live.  The local news is simply 30 minutes of the two of us jeering the TV for everything from the actual headlines to the news reporters themselves.  (For the record, I've writting and entire world in my head around Susan Kim and Vince Vittranno on WTMJ Channel 4's morning news.)

Hubby and perform without a laugh track and the goal is to get a good zinger in that the other doesn't realize is funny until minutes later.  The longer it takes to "get the joke" the more successful we figure we are.

Ya know, most couples just go ahead and have sex or eat a pizza or something.

Anyway, last night, during "Biggest Loser"  Hubby uttered quite possibly the most hilarious thing I've ever heard him say.

If you watched the show last night, you know that the Red Team, coached by the personal trainer I call "Pretty Boy Brett" was down to one member, my favorite contestant, Courtney.  Much was made during the 90 minutes leading up to the weigh in, and then the 15 minutes of the weigh in because OF COURSE they weighed Courtney in last, about the pressure she was under to lose weight so that she could stay and Brett could keep his job.  They mentioned this over and over again.

So OF COURSE Courtney lost the weigh in.  Of course she did.  There were many tears and all the trainers yelled about how it "Wasn't fair" and "This isn't right!)
Oh come on! I'm too pretty to be fired!

Made me sort of wonder if this was the first time the trainers had actually paid attention.  I mean, were they just recently made aware of the fact that the person who loses the lowest percentage of total weight goes home.  This is what, season 97?  Why is this such a surprise?  Granted, Courtney's story is compelling and who doesn't cheer for the young girl who had to lose over 100 pounds to get on the show?  But the fact remains...she didn't lose enough weight this week to stay on the show.

After the weeping and wailing from the trainers was over, someone...someone who obviously hadn't been paying attention, asked this question:

So what happens to Brett?

Allison Sweeny, who might just be my favorite TV personality ever, is the host of the show.  She's had her own weight loss battles, so she's the perfect pick for "Biggest Loser."  Allison has been a bit tougher this season than in the past.  Makes me wonder just how stupid the contestants really are, if they can get on Allison's nerves.  Anyway, Allison says, "Well, Brett doesn't have a team to coach anymore, so he also has to go."

CUE MORE WEEPING AND WAILING.

Now, I'm a romantic.  I believe that reality television is real.  I believe there's no script and that real people are just that...real.  But after hearing the whole, "If Courtney goes, Brett loses a job" storyline for 90 minutes, I found the level of surprise and anguish displayed to be a little...overplayed.

My Hubby, however, was more on the ball than I.  When someone again asked, "What will Brett do?"  hubby uttered these words:

"Service Jillian."

Friends, I nearly snorted popcorn through my nose.  And of course it was a delayed reaction because he delivered the two words with such a flat tone, I first thought he was asking me to share the popcorn.

"Service Jillian."

I could write a hundred blogs and not hit anything quite that funny.  And so, having glimpsed comedic perfection, I'll just leave you all with that very...interesting image in your head.






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