I feel the need

I feel the need

Friday, April 1, 2011

Laundry List Friday: Five rules everyone should live by...according to me!

Good morning!

So I'm back from a short get away with Peaches.  While I'll dwell on the details of the trip in a later post, I will say this:  There's something very nice about hanging out with your kid when she still likes you.  Skippy no longer wants to hang out with old mom, but I'm enjoying my few last years with Peaches before she goes out into the big old world and I become "mother."

But today I think I need to lay down a few of the ground rules that everyone should be following because, well, they are rules I live by and therefore everyone should follow them! 

5) If you're going to ask the question, "How are you doing?" as a form of a greeting, you MUST stop and face the person you're asking and wait for a reply, no matter how long that reply might be.

I walk past a lot of people in the course of a week and I always try to say a cheery "hello!"  I figure it's just good manners.  What I don't understand, however, is when people respond to my "Hello" with a "How are you doing?"  and then whisk past me.  Do we not understand that "How are you doing?"  is a QUESTION and therefore requires an answer?    And frankly, if you're going to ask such an open ended question, you really should at least pause and wait for an answer, even if it's the usual, "Just fine, thanks." 

That's just good manners.

4) Unless you are under the age of 6 or actively working out in a gym, jammie pants/sweatpants are really NOT okay to wear in public. This goes DOUBLE if you are a MAN. TRIPLE if you are trying to pick up a woman in the bank. QUADRUPLE if said jammie pants have cartoon characters on them.

If you bear any resemblance to this guy...the answer is NO, she is NOT interested.

I realize that lounge pants are awesome.  They are comfortable.  They are fun.  They keep us young, and make some of us feel cool.  However, if you are not a child, it's really not okay to be wandering around in these in public.  Oh sure, I'm guilty of this myself.  I have a favorite pair of sweats that I wear, especially on days I'm going for a weigh in at Gold's.  However, if you are a MAN and you are wearing cartoon character jammie pants in public, save yourself the major embarrassment, and use the drive through at the bank.  While watching you try to pick up a woman in line is great theater for the rest of us, sort of like watching an episode of "The Office" it's not good for your self esteem and chances are you're going to be one of those guys who winds up driving your car into the side of a house or something because you were rejected.  Guys, women do NOT dig guys in lounge pants, especially those with cartoon characters.  We think they are sort of creepy.  Put on jeans...you'd be amazed how much more receptive we are.

3)  If you are driving and you make a turn without using your directionals, expect someone to yell something at you.

I would say the vast majority of drivers are NOT mind readers.  And while I'm not in favor of having physical road tests every year for every driver, (Mostly because I'm not sure I would pass.)  I am in favor of caning people who do not use their turn signals.  I cannot count the number of times I've had a near miss because the driver in front of me or next to me decided to make that turn across traffic in front of me with NO WARNING WHATSOEVER.  One of the best accidents I was ever in involved some knucklehead who decided to park on the left side of the street while he was driving on the right.  It was a one way street.  My car was between knucklehead and the the parking spot he craved.  Oh, and I was 8 months pregnant.  That was a very fun exchange of insurance info, I can tell you.

2)  If you are a movie theater and you charge $4.00 for a box of candy, but the store next door is selling the same box of candy for a $1.00  GET OVER YOURSELF...people are going to bring it in. 

 Posting those sorry signs about "no carry ins allowed" is only going to work with people like my Hubby.  The rest of the planet is going to bring in candy because you're already gouging us at the box office.  $10 a ticket to see something starring George Lopez as the voice of a dog?  You should be paying ME to eat something while I'm watching.


If you put up so many decorations that you haven't had the time to take them down by now, then cut back on the celebratory lights next time around.  Seriously, it's APRIL.  Granted, we're still getting snow here in Wisconsin, but we've had enough nice days for you to get off the couch and take down the lights. No one wants to see Santa this time of year.  And yes, your neighbors ARE laughing at you.  And so is everyone else who drives by your house. 

So get out of the cartoon character lounge pants and take down the lights!

See, those aren't such bad rules, are they?  And really, if people would listen to me, there are a lot of things would be better around here.

1 comment:

  1. Love it!! I always try to have my decorations down by Jan 31st so I can put up my Valentines decorations - although one year I was a little depressed about not working (yes it was one of the last 3) and didn't even have them down by Feb. 14 -- but I'm over it!


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