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Monday, May 16, 2011

Fan vs. Fanatic...you be the judge!

Good evening all!

So it's Rick Springfield week here in the Milwaukee area.  Basically what this means to me is that for two nights this year, Wednesday and Saturday, I get to be, for a moment, 16 again.  Rather, I get to be the 16 year old I wished I could be if I'd had more permissible parents...or money...or a car...or friends...

ANYWAY....

Now most people, normal people, who are going to go to a concert get ready by maybe brushing their teeth, touching up their makeup, and going to the concert.  FANS, and more specifically, FANATICS have a different ritual. 

Remember, as always, these points are just from my observations meant to be humorous and should not be taken as a statement of fact. If you aren't finding my work funny and you think I'm serious and need a debate, then you've come to the wrong girl my friend!

Sorry...sometimes my sense of humor doesn't always translate the way it should to people who are mired in a world without laughter.

Anyway...here are the points I think of when I think of a semi normal fan preparing for a concert and a FANATIC.  Where do I fall in this?  You be the judge:

1)  Clothes

Fan:  A fan might have a favorite pair of concert jeans and a t-shirt.  Comfy footwear is a must.

Fanatic:  Planning for the perfect concert outfit starts the day the tickets are purchased.  Jeans, jacket, shoes, shirt, all chosen for their eye catching qualities, not for comfort.  Shoes will definitely be heels, jeans will definitely be tight.  Partial boob view is a must.  T-shirts that say, "Mrs. "  followed by the last name of the artist are a bonus.

(I  have a favorite pair of jeans, a t-shirt and sandals.)

2)  Hygiene

Fan:  A fan might shower after work.  If body hair needs removing, a fan will probably remove whatever is visible and leave it at that.  Hair will be done the way hair is always done, and deodorant will be applied.

Fanatic:  A fanatic times everything so that her eyebrow wax and hair color fall just long enough before the concert that she doesn't have red welts above her eyes, but close enough to the concert date that everything looks shiny and fresh.  Legs are shaved all the way up, even if it's winter and the fanatic is wearing jeans.  Showering is followed by all manner of lotions, sprays, powders, and perfumes.  Hair is either "Done" at a beauty parlor or DONE in a way that involves so much product to the get the right look fanatic is officially a fire hazard.

(um....yeah...I'm pleading the fifth on this.  The concert is two days away and I'm coloring my hair right now.)

3)  Carry ons

Fan:  Maybe a purse, but the savvy fan will have the following in pockets in some nice, but practical jacket:  credit card, drivers license, cash, chap stick, maybe a breath mint, and a sharpie...just in case.  A purse might be necessary if said fan needs...feminine stuff.

Fanatic:  Well, the fanatic is OF COURSE carrying a purse made out of the musician's latest record cover.  She cannot go to a concert without the following:  three things to autograph.  Three sharpies, one of which will be silver,  all of her makeup; comb, brush, hairspray; perfume bottle, toothbrush, tweezers, and an extra pair of pantyhose.  AND A BIG POSTER with the musician's name.

(While I HAVE carried a satchel of stuff in the past, I've slimmed it down to a wallet and a sharpie.)

4)  Extra stuff:

Fan:  A fan might put on some nail polish, perhaps do the toes if she's wearing sandals, but that's always just an option.  Jewelry is generally simple, but nice.

Fanatic:  Manis and pedis for everyone!  Jewelry will be made of guitar picks or the actual teeth of the musician. 

(If I wear the sandals, I'll do my toes because I have toenails that seem to attract toe jam like a magnet...and that's gross.  But I really can't wear fingernail polish because I have a chronic issue with hangnails and getting nail polish or worse, nail polish remover in my hangnails is not fun.  But, since it's probably going to be cold, at least for the show on Wednesday, I'm not really worried about the toes because I'll probably wear my pink clogs.  While I won't be wearing any guitar picks, I do have an Italian charm bracelet and one of the charms is a photo of Rick...so there's that.)

Well my friends, how do I rate?  Fan or fanatic?  I'm eager to hear the results!

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