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Friday, May 20, 2011

Laundry List Friday: Five reasons I know the world isn't going to end tomorrow.

Good morning!

For those of you wondering if Rick Springfield, overcome with love for my beauty and perfect concert preparations, asked me to run away with him...no.  He did not.  BUT, Dee and I had a marvelous time with our Rick friends Vicki and Wendy and we look forward to seeing them again tomorrow.

Which brings me to my laundry list today.  Much has been made of the idea that tomorrow, May 21, is going to be the end of the world.  Well, I'm one of those people who subscribe to the idea that no human knows when the world is going to end and frankly, we should just stop using so much energy predicting the end of the world and put that energy into voting on American Idol.  Seriously, how is James NOT in the finals?

So here are my top five reasons why the world is NOT going to end tomorrow.

5)  I have a balance on all of my credit cards.

Face it...credit card companies want their money.  And as long as credit card debt exists, the world is going to keep turning.  I couldn't get that lucky!  I'm still paying for a pair of shoes I HAD TO HAVE in 2004.  The shoes are long gone, but the credit card debt remains. 

4)  Not all NFL teams have made it to the Superbowl.

Dude, don't think of it as missing the Superbowl for the 75th straight year!  Think of it as saving humanity!
Face it:  God is an American Football fan.  That's why that sport is so completely awesome.  BUT...until all the teams make it to the Superbowl, the world is not going to end.  So congrats, Detroit, Jacksonville, Houston, and "new" Cleveland.  Your teams are staving off the end of humanity.  And frankly, if we have to wait for the Lions to make the Superbowl, we could be on this planet for a very long time.  I should probably recycle more. 

3)  I haven't paid for my kids' college yet.

While having the world end tomorrow would really take a financial load off my mind...God has a wild sense of humor.  (Don't believe me?  Have you ever watched giraffes mate?)  The world will end the day after Peaches graduates from college.  We'll have been living in a box, eating ramen noodles for three years...and with the end of college tuition payments in site...BAM...it's all over.  With any luck, Skippy will decide he needs grad school and will graduate on the same day.

2)  "Lies in Chance" isn't out yet.

The book I've worked for 30 years to write will be released on June 4.  Given the set backs we've had with this book, and given how long I've worked on it...I'm convinced the world will end on June 3.

1)  I have Rick tickets for Saturday night.

The world is NOT going to end on Saturday because I'm just not going to let it end until I get one more Rick concert under my belt!  There, I said it.  By sheer will power I'm going to keep this planet spinning until the final shirtless encore tomorrow night.  After about 10 pm however, you're all on your own!

Happy weekend everyone!

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