I feel the need

I feel the need

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

It's funny what I'll stand in line for...

Good afternoon!

For those of you who are concerned, yes, I am ready for the Rick Springfield concert tonight.  My hair is colored all one color...and I'm not saying I changed the color much, but for the last two days I've been surprised when I look in the mirror.  I've removed as much unwanted body hair as I can, and I've painted my toenails.  Now, while I might seem a bit optimistic...wearing sandals when the high today is going to be a damp 53 degrees...if I don't wear my fancy sandals tonight, I'll be ready to go on Saturday night when it might be a touch warmer.  The capri pants I was planning on wearing however, well that is a bit optimistic, even for me.

Meanwhile, yesterday was an interesting afternoon for me.  Many of you know that when I'm in the car I'm not what you'd call a patient driver. The same goes double for drive throughs, especially at the bank.  I go to drive throughs only when I have a simple transaction to handle, and I expect others to live by that rule also.  I have no problem at all shouting at the person in front of me at the bank drive through if I have to wait more than, say, three minutes.

So yesterday I was making a simple deposit for work.  It should have been simple anyway...one car ahead of me...which actually pulled away when I pulled up.  The clerk was front and center when my neatly ordered checks and deposit slip hit the suction tube thingy that takes the deposits to the clerk at the window.

The way my bank is set up, the cars in the drive through actually face the bank so we can see everything that's going on while the clerks are handling our transactions.  For me, this is generally not a good thing, because when I'm sitting in a line in my car I'd better not see anyone CHATTING AND NOT DOING BANKING STUFF!

But yesterday, as I mentioned, I was in and things were clicking. 

In almost record time the clerk thanked me and popped the plastic thing into the suction tube thingy. 

And then....

Have you ever had to sit under an industrial hair drier?  That's sort of the sound the bank suction thingy makes, isn't it?  Well, something was obviously STUCK because that noise roared in my ears  (I had the car window open so I could get my slip and leave.)  for no less than three minutes before someone BOTHERED to find out what was going on.  What were they doing in those other three minutes?  Helping customers?  No.  THEY WERE CHATTING AND LAUGHING AND SINCE THEY WERE FACING ME IT LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE LAUGHING AT ME.

Sort of a "Ha ha, we're not actually going to send you your slip....let's see how long it takes for the fat girl in the car to get into a big frothy rage."

For the record, it takes, under those circumstances, forty five seconds. 

When the clerks were done pointing and laughing, someone realized that something was stuck.  I am not sure what she did, but she did manage to make the sound LOUDER for another minute.

Someone else, ironically a fluffy girl, came over and fixed the issue.  I got my deposit slip and was on my way.

I told you that to explain why my next errand was funny.

Yes, we've rethought our purchase of bowler hats and white pants.

So I get to Kohl's to return yet another bra, and I'm in a rage because of the wait at the bank.  Well as luck would have it...there was a long line at the returns desk.  Now, when you're in line to return something at a store, they really don't give you much to do except listen to the complaints of the customer ahead of you.  The customer directly ahead of me had an great transaction...it went something like this:

"I want to return these pants."

"OK, we can do that for you.  Was there anything wrong with the pants?"

"No, I just want to return them."

"Fine. No problem.  Now it says here you used a debit card."

"I don't have a debit card."

"But your receipt says you used a bank debit card."

"I don't have a debit card.  I only use my Kohl's card."

"But ma'am, the receipt you've just handed me says you used a debit card."

"I don't have a debit card.  I want this credited to my Kohl's account."

"I'm sorry...you didn't use your Kohl's account for this purchase so I can't credit it to your account."

(I know...I was surprised too.  I didn't think Kohl's had any return restrictions either!)

"I did because I only ever use my Kohl's card for Kohl's purchases!"

"But ma'am...could you have written a check?"

"Oh yes, right?  I wrote a check.  Well, then, I'd like my money please."

So after listening to that exciting exchange it was my turn.  My patience was, as you can expect, not terribly healthy at this point.  I returned the bra and went in search of the perfect concert purse.  ( I found one.  It cost me $3, holds nothing but my cell phone and some cash, and I can wear it across my body.)

Having hunted and gathered this most precious possession, I then headed up to the check out line.  As you may remember, the last time I attempted to check out at Kohl's I nearly came to blows with the lady because she wouldn't take NO for an answer when I said I didn't need a Kohl's card.

And there she was, waiting for me with eyes glittering. 

My friends, I'd already gone through a frustrating wait at the bank and at the returns line.  I didn't want to wait in line for one more minute.  However...

The check out line right next to her had a couple purchasing a carpet cleaner, two bottles of carpet cleaning solution, and several pairs of untagged socks.  They were paying with pennies, they weren't sure they could get the carpet cleaner to their car unassisted, and they wanted credit for the mail in rebate up front.

With joy I got into line behind them.

Did others go through Credit Card woman's line more quickly than I?  Several shoppers did, in fact.  But I saved myself the aggravation of saying NO fifty times.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I will happily wait in line now for a couple of select things:

1)  A roller coaster

2)  A Rick Springfield signing

3)  To avoid the woman who won't take no for answer when I don't need a store card.

Yes, it's good to learn things about yourself!

And now, I'm off to the concert!  :)

1 comment:

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