This girl is funny...not skinny.

This girl is funny...not skinny.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

You've made your point, now please put some clothes on!

Good morning!

My friend Marie is going to think that this story is one that she shared with me a while back, but I will tell you...it is not!  And I will say that when Marie shared her story with me, I thought...well, that will happen in a city like the one Marie lives in, but certainly not in my hometown.  NOT IN MY HOME TOWN.

Well, it happened.

You all know that I go to Gold's gym.  I'm one of those people who will either be dressed for a workout before I come in, or if I'm getting into the pool, I'll typically go into a stall and change in there.  Sometimes I'll change by a locker, but most of the time I'm too self conscious.  And, it has been my experience, so are most of the women who frquent the locker room there at Gold's.  While there might be the momentary nudity near the lockers, it's fleeting and, if nudity could be described this way, modest.

Until a couple weeks ago.

I'd just finished the brutal hour that is Body Vive.  It's brutal for a bunch of reasons, the biggest of which being it's on a Saturday morning. 

Anyway, Dee and I were grabbing our things from the locker room when SHE appeared.

By SHE, I mean this tall, perfectly tanned  woman.  SHE was standing in the walkway from the lockers to the door.  SHE was...I'm not sure what she was doing in front of the mirror.  Her hair was perfect, her make up was on...

Oh yeah, and she was COMPLETELY NAKED.

SHE was probably in her mid to late 40's, judging by her face....I was trying really hard not to look anyplace else.  I've never seen any woman of any race with so perfect a skin tone, her arms were exactly the same skin tone as parts of her body that, on a mere mortal, would never feel the warm rays of the tanning bed.  And if everything in her physique was real, then I might be inspired to do a bit more weight lifting because I've never seen a woman over the age of 20 with such perfect, perfect...you know...mammary glands.  Seriously, I have to wear bras with all manner of shaping support and iron bars to get the effect SHE had just standing there in front of the mirror.

Everyone in the locker room noticed SHE. You could not miss SHE.  And there was a definite air of awe, as if some sort of ancient diety that we aren't quite familiar with but we know we should give respect to just showed up.  The rest of us pale, non-naked human females scuttled around her hoping small dusting of the gloriousness she was so graciously sharing with us would perhaps fall on us.

After a good workout at Gold's, a quiet moment in the park is what every tall, perfect, naked woman longs for.
And there SHE stood.  In front of the mirror.  Just looking at herself.  

I give Dee a huge gold star because Dee, who works at the club and pretty much knows everyone there, stopped and chatted with her for a moment.  I don't know what they talked about because all I could hear in my head is, "Yes, you're perfect...PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" 

Now friends, you know I'm hardly a prude.  I've got R rated movies in my DVD collection.  I've read "Wifey" by Judy Blume.  I write love scenes for my novels.  But when it comes to uneccessary...and dare I say it...blatant boastful nudity, I'm out the door. 

And yes, I am using that as my biggest reason why I haven't been back to Gold's in nearly two weeks.  Yes, that's my reason and I'm standing by it...it has nothing to do with the fact that I've been lazy lately.  Not at all....really.  So when I do show up, no one gets to pick on me....

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